


I Used to Build Dreams About You

by pineappleyogurt (musicforlife101)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Banter, Explicit in later chapters, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Good Omens References, House Hunting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, In Sirius's music, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Maybe mild to moderate angst, Multi, Musician Sirius Black, Not within the relationships but around them, Past Child Abuse, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Sirius isn't safe about it but it's very brief, Song Lyrics, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Teacher Remus Lupin, Texting, The Lord of the Rings References, They're both nerds, University Student Remus Lupin, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, Wedding Planning, Welsh Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 60,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23924323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicforlife101/pseuds/pineappleyogurt
Summary: At 16, Remus is a bit old to have never seen even a stray mark on his arm from his soulmate. Even once his soulmate writes to him for the first time, nothing really changes except for an increase in his concern for the boy on the other end.They aren't in some sweeping, beautiful romance across the country. They haven't discovered they're only a town away. All he has to show for finally connecting is a nonsensical nickname and a lot of sad poetry too late at night.***A writing on your arm soulmate AU where Sirius and Remus fumble through the last difficult years of school, most of Remus's degree and the start of Sirius's music career before even learning each other's name, let alone meeting.
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 128
Kudos: 207





	1. I Used to Build Dreams About You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I mentioned over on my other Marauders WIP, Call You Mine, that I was planning to post a soulmate AU and here it is!
> 
> In this, Sirius write poetry and music on Remus's arm and in general for his eventual music career. As I'm not a poet or songwriter (and trust me you don't want me to be), I'll be quoting other people's very topically relevant songs/poems. I will always cite the artist/writer in the end notes.
> 
> _Remus writes in italics  
>  **Sirius writes in bold italics ** __****_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: All of this is referenced/mentioned, but none in detail. Sirius makes some poor decisions around sex and alcohol, but all are consensual. He also takes drugs offered to him by someone he doesn't know, not knowing what or how much he's taken. Nothing bad happens to him. Sirius's parents are not great and this is referenced a lot, but nothing in detail.
> 
> If these are sensitive topics for you, please be careful, or contact me if you need more details.  
> Please be safe and responsible when drinking or using any other substances.

Sirius had first seen the writing on his arm when he was very young. Though writing was a generous term for the doodles in marker that splashed up and down his non-dominant arm. It was a little early in life to have writing, at least according to what his nanny told him later. But it wasn't unreasonably early. It wasn't like he'd been born with writing. It was just that he hadn't even turned five and most people got their writing closer to ten.

Thankfully, the Blacks were of the old school when it came to manners and it was still considered only proper in their circles to wear long sleeves. Even his parents did, though it wasn't considered necessary for married couples. Sirius had learned from his nanny, a little too young to understand the significance, that this was because his parents weren’t soulmates. The writing on their arms didn’t belong to each other.

His nanny was the only way he’d gotten away with having writing on his arm so young. She’d been the one to bathe him and never told his parents. Which was kind of her. But she’d made a point of instructing him to not answer his soulmate in case his parents found out. She had always known where the bruises came from, even if she couldn’t tell anyone.

At such a young age still, the writing was mostly doodles and occasional words in what might have been Welsh. It certainly wasn’t the French or Latin he’d been tutored in. He never really knew how to respond anyway.

He was sent to board at Diagon Prep at age seven, where he met James Potter, one of the day students. For the first time, he had a real friend and was welcome to visit on weekends. The Potters were happy to tell him the truth of soulmates when he stared blankly back at them during any conversation about it. And when he went home for summer holidays, he was armed with truths his parents didn’t want him to have.

* * *

At sixteen, Remus Lupin was starting to worry that his soulmate would never write to him. He’d been drawing and writing, both in English and Welsh, since his mother had told him about soulmates. He had a vague memory that she'd once seen some kind of mark on his arm. But the longer he went without response, the surer he became that his mother had only seen a stray mark from his own colouring, if she'd seen anything at all. The person on the other end had never answered.

For a while, when he was at his most ill in the hospital, he wondered if he was going to die and that was why he didn’t have a soulmate, because no contact by age fifteen was very uncommon and it was usually seen as a bad sign. Sometimes he wondered if his soulmate had died. Or maybe just didn't want him. But he reminded himself, even on the hardest days, to stay positive. Stranger things had happened.

Thanks to his insomnia, Remus occasionally found himself wide awake at two or three in the morning. He sighed and rolled over in bed.

There, on his arm, words began to bloom in smooth black ink.

**_I used to build dreams about you_ **

He pulled a pen from the cup on his desk, just within reach of his bed and scrawled beneath it _\- Fitzgerald_.

Then nothing.

He watched the words on his arm for nearly fifteen minutes before they began to fade. The part his soulmate had written was nearly gone, but his addition had only lightened, unable to be fully washed off from the receiving side. He decided to leave it there.

Remus’s soulmate didn’t write again for almost a week. And when they did it wasn’t happy. It was sad, dark poetry that made Remus want to cry, scrawled in cursive across his forearm at nearly three in the morning. He didn’t reply this time, not wanting to frighten the soul on the other end away again. The next night, sleep schedule still absolute shit, but arm free of writing, Remus wrote back.

_I’m sorry_

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was sorry for. Perhaps for frightening his soulmate away, or surprising them, or colouring on their arm too much as a child, or not being what they needed, or just making them stuck with him. But he wanted his soulmate to be well and happy.

In the morning, when he finally got out of bed, Remus found his apology faded, but a very tiny heart had been drawn beside it. He kept it all day.

That night, in the small hours, writing bloomed across his arm again.

**_Do you think it’s possible to have money and a big house and lots of expensive stuff and still be unhappy? Or does that just make you ungrateful?_ **

Remus furrowed his brows. It was a strange question, but he felt its weight. Especially given the hour. This was the time of night for deep thoughts and painful musings.

 _I think it depends on the situation_ , Remus wrote. _Money isn’t a replacement for love and happiness. It doesn’t fix depression anymore than crowds fix loneliness_

He waited for a response for a few minutes. Just as he was about to give up and try harder to sleep, his soulmate began writing back

**_I feel like I’m trapped in a cage. But everyone looks in and sees a mansion_ **

Remus frowned and wrote, _A gilded cage is still a cage_

It was another few minutes before his soulmate responded.

**_You’re a boy, aren’t you?_ **

_Yes, why?_ Remus didn’t understand the sudden change in topic, but his soulmate was actually writing to him, communicating for the first time, so he was going to roll with it.

**_That’s the problem, so am I_ **

_Okay_ , Remus wrote, trying to feel out the problem. _Some soulmates are platonic. I’m bi, but if you’re not into boys, that’s alright. It doesn’t have to be romantic_

**_I am, that’s the problem. Some soulmates are platonic but we’re not. I can’t be with you, I’m sorry_ **

It hurt. Like a knife between his ribs. All the fluttery butterflies that had swarmed his stomach the moment his soulmate started replying died swift, fluttery deaths. The buzzing under his skin that ached for this boy sizzled and snapped and stopped. The tiny little things he hadn’t noticed, but had told him this was so much more than platonic, were gasping their dying breaths.

 _This is your cage?_ He wrote with shaking fingers.

**_My cage is a cathedral. Gilded like an altar with candles and crosses and frowning parents_ **

Remus bit his lip and grasped for words.

_I’m not very religious, but I understand why some people are. I just think that a god who makes people in his image wouldn’t make people gay or transgender or nonbinary just to condemn them. It’s not god that told you you’re wrong, it’s people. God didn’t make religion. People did._

**_Interesting take for someone who isn’t religious_ **

The words had a bite. Sharp like the letters now adorning his arm.

_I think spirituality and religion are different. I don’t need to pray in a church to feel something greater than myself. There are stars and trees and mountains. I can stand at the ocean and feel as small as someone does when they talk to their god_

**_You must be older than me, to have this all figured out_ **

_I’m 16_ , Remus wrote. _But I’m homeschooled, so Mum and I decided to add one interesting extra class each year. Last year was comparative religion_

**_Of all things, why that?_ **

_Because we’re not religious, but religious conflict is everywhere in history. And current social issues. Mum’s a crusader. We march in 3 Pride parades a year, even before I came out_

**_She sounds cool_ **

_She is,_ Remus wrote back. _She was a teacher before I got ill. Quit to teach me at home. I guess you go to school somewhere?_

**_Yeah, boarding school. Since primary. It’s nice, better than home. I just turned 17, so we’re probably in the same year. You’re just a nerd_ **

_Proudly_ , Remus wrote back with a little smiley face to make it clear he wasn’t offended.

**_I’m sorry I’m keeping you up_ **

_You’re not, I couldn’t sleep. My schedule is weird_

**_Ok_ **

Another minute passed.

**_Look, I like you and I think you seem pretty cool. And maybe you’re right about the gilded cage. But I don’t think I can really handle this with my family stuff. Maybe someday in the future, but just not right now. I’m sorry_ **

It still hurt, of course it did. But Remus couldn’t begrudge him. He didn’t know the situation, but it seemed bad. Rich, religious, homophobic parents could kick him out.

_It’s okay. You need to stay safe more than I need you to talk to me at 4am_

**_Thanks. I really am sorry_ **

_I know. I believe you. Can I at least know your name?_

**_I think it’s better if we don’t do that. Too much temptation to look for each other in real life. I’m just gonna call you Moony in my head, since we’ve only talked under the light of the moon_ **

Which just made Remus want to cry and hug him. His soulmate would be thinking of him, even if they couldn’t talk. That was something.

_I don’t know what to call you_

**_Padfoot, it’s my nickname at school_ **

_There’s a story there_

**_I’ll tell you one day. Until then, I’d rather we not talk like this. I’m scared my family will see someone else’s writing on my arm and freak out_ **

_Okay, but I want you to know I’m always here. Even if we don’t talk for a decade, I’ll still be here_

**_Thank you Moony. Is it okay if I sometimes jot things down on this arm? I don’t always have a piece of paper...and sometimes it’s better to write than do other things when I can’t sleep_ **

_It’s always okay. I’ll keep it covered if you prefer, but I like knowing you’re there_

**_You deserve better than me._ ** The words were wobbly and hard to read, smudgy like maybe Padfoot was crying and the ink had run.

_We deserve each other. I deserve to have my soulmate, and so do you. Please don’t sell yourself short_

**_I’ll try, but only because you’re so nice and you shouldn’t be alone_ **

_It’s okay if I’m your starting point, but I want you to believe in yourself for yourself, not just for me. Either way, I’m here for you. And if we need to talk and then wash it all off so your parents can’t see, that’s alright too_

**_Thank you Moony. I think we should sleep, but can we wash this off first?_ **

_Sure_ , Remus wrote and drew a little heart. It was the last he’d get to send in a while, probably.

He was right. Padfoot didn’t write to him to talk for the rest of the school year. Sometimes, when Remus couldn’t sleep, he watched poetry bloom across his arm. He’d taken to copying it all into a notebook that he’d titled ‘Padfoot’ and hidden in his bedside table. On nights when Padfoot didn’t write to him, he’d pull it out and read a few verses. Some felt more like songs. Most had queer themes or religoius imagery used sardonically. One night he’d written three new verses to ‘Hallelujah’, all of which broke Remus’s heart.

When summer came, Remus kept himself mostly confined to long sleeved shirts, just in case. But Lily had come to visit, so eventually he had to talk about it.

“Did they finally start writing to you, then?” she asked, nodding at his sleeves once they were ensconced in the den with cold lemonade.

“Sort of. I can’t write back because he has a bad home life and is afraid of what his parents will do. They’re religious, we’re both male.” Remus shrugged. “He writes poetry some nights.”

“I’m sorry, Rem,” she said, tucking herself beside him. “One of my friends at school has parents like that.” She shuddered. “He got drunk one night at a party and by the time I got him upstairs to his dorm, he was ranting to me and his roommate about how awful they are and how they’re going to murder his soulmate so he can marry some distant relation, like some creepy aristocratic mafia.”

“That’s horrible,” Remus said, thinking of his own soulmate’s struggles. It baffled him how some people would forbid real soulmate marriages just to fake convenient ones. “I’m sorry he’s going through that too. I don’t understand how people can be like that. How they can go through life and not feel the fluttering in their chest when their soulmate writes to them. Even when he writes sad poetry, I still get butterflies just because he’s writing and he knows I’m here reading it.”

Lily bit her lip. “I know, I feel that too. I think my friend’s roommate might be my soulmate.”

“Said roommate wouldn’t be the irritating James, would it?” Remus teased.

“Shut up. He was so nice when I came upstairs carrying his drunken lump of a friend. I was standing there listening to Siri go on about how he was going to run away and become a rockstar as soon as he could, no matter what his parents said. And James was just smiling so softly and nodding along like it was all okay, not to worry, it’ll all turn out fine.” She shrugged and hid a smile. “And it’s not like the handwriting on my arm isn’t familiar.” Lily had had writing on her arm for years, but the guy on the other end was the sappiest person ever, according to her. She’d told him to stop being ridiculous half a hundred times and he never got any less sappy.

“Are you going to tell him?” Remus asked. He was desperate for some quality soulmate gossip.

“Maybe when we go back in September. I’m going to write to him over the summer and maybe we can start on better terms.”

“Why are you so smart?” Remus teased. “I just said okay, I understand that you feel like you’re in a cage, don’t worry about me, take care of yourself.”

“I think you did the right thing,” Lily said, voice small. “He knows you care about him.”

“Yeah, but what if he doesn’t speak to me for years?”

“Start your relationship with him then.”

Remus sighed. “I know,” he said. “I told him I’d still be here, even if he ignored me for a decade, but Lils, I don’t know if I can read his sad poetry for a decade and not do anything to help him.” She wrapped an arm around his middle. “I cry half the time as it is. I’ve only known him for a few months.”

“You don’t really know him now. Do you even know his name?”

“No, just that he’s in our year, a few months older than me, and has rich, religious parents. He gave me his nickname, but that’s not exactly something I can Google.”

“I guess not.”

“But I do know him in some way. I don’t know his name or his favourite colour or his favourite subject in school. I don’t know if he’s a dog person or if he collects pretty rocks or any of that. But reading the things he writes is a totally different kind of intimacy that I’m never going to have with another person. I know something about his heart that I could never learn by asking his favourite colour.”

Lily just held him tighter. It was really what he needed. There were no words to describe how powerless he felt in the face of Padfoot’s sorrow.

Remus and Lily spent half their summer together before her family left their cottage to go back to Cokeworth. After that, Remus settled himself to reading, and writing entrance essays for university. He read all kinds of poetry, strange, delightful classics, and a lot of fantasy. He decided to study English Literature, with perhaps some sociology or gender studies or history tossed in. He liked the idea of exploring the cultural landscape of literature. Like Dorian Grey being portrayed negatively due to historical intolerance for homosexuality. Or imperialist attitudes present in some Victorian literature. He thought a survey of similar examples might make a nice graduating thesis.

Padfoot wrote him poetry and songs late into the night still. But he hadn’t written to talk since that night.

On the night of November 2nd, he did.

**_I’m free Moony_ **

Remus stared at his arm.Then at the clock. It was midnight, almost to the minute. Early for them.

**_It’s now officially my birthday I’m 18_ **

_Happy Birthday Padfoot_

**_Thanks! I wanted to talk to u tonite + tell u I’m leaving home. I’m staying at school for xmas hols + when I graduate I’m not going back_ **

_I’m proud of you_

**_That means a lot to me. My best mate is the only other person who’s proud of me for doing anything_ **

_You’ll always have me, proud of you for just being you_

**_Idk what I did to deserve u as a soulmate_ **

_You’re you, that’s all. I know it’s been a lot of me supporting you so far, but I’m no picnic either. I just have parents to rely on that you don’t_

**_I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you_ **

_Don’t be, I understand. There’s nothing to forgive_

**_If u say so but I feel bad that I haven’t been there + I feel bad that I still don’t feel ready to do this for real_ **

_I know it doesn't change how you feel, but I don’t want you to feel bad for not being here. You are here, half the time I’m reading your poetry to fall asleep. I would like to talk to you, but I understand and I don’t feel like you’ve abandoned me_

**_Ok but if u need me u can write to me. I don’t think I’m ready to do the regular relationship thing but that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know if something important happens. I do._ **

_I promise I’ll tell you, then. Thank you for being here for me, Padfoot_

**_Always <3_ **

They didn’t really talk again for a while, just exchanging greetings on Christmas and New Years and Padfoot writing poetry and what might have been song lyrics some nights. They weren’t as dark and worrying as they had been. He sometimes wrote about gilded cages. Sometimes about missed connections. He still used a lot of religious imagery, but in that same subversive way that Remus found he enjoyed.

On March 10th, Remus wrote a little note to Padfoot.

_It’s my 18th birthday today_

It took less than a minute for him to respond.

**_Happy Birthday Moony!!_ **

_Thanks!_

A few minutes passed with no response, so Remus thought Padfoot wasn’t up for more conversation tonight. It would’ve been a nice birthday present, but he would survive.

**_Can I give u a gift?_ **

_Sure, what is it?_

**_I write stuff sometimes, songs + poems, u know_ **

Oh, did Remus know.

**_I’ve been writing something since I left. It’s not finished but some of the parts are for u or inspired by our talk + I want to write them for u if that’s ok?_ **

_Yes, I would love that. Thank you!_

Padfoot didn’t respond, but he began writing around Remus’s wrist.

 **_If the heavens ever did speak  
_ ** **_He’s the last true mouthpiece  
_ ** **_Every Sunday’s getting more bleak  
_ ** **_A fresh poison each week_ **

**_~~_ **

**_Take me to church  
_ ** **_I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies  
_ ** **_I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife  
_ ** **_Offer me that deathless death  
_ ** **_Good God, let me give you my life_ **

**_~~_ **

**_Idk where this line goes yet but I thought of u when I wrote it:_ **

**_There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin_ **

_You’re a beautiful writer. I keep your poems and songs in a notebook, even when they make me cry_

**_I’m sorry I don’t write happier things_ **

_But you take pain and turn it into something beautiful. I wish your pain would ease, but what you do with it is a gift_

**_Do u think other people would like my style? I have other stuff I write. With u I mostly write stuff that’s too private to share with anyone else. But my less private stuff sounds kinda the same_ **

_I do. I think your religious imagery is really interesting and effective. The way you use it to critique organized religion is clever and very poetic_

**_Do u think I could get away with being cagey about pronouns? Or just straight up writing queer themed stuff? I left my parents, idk that I want to go back in the closet_ **

_I think the world is a lot more open to that than your parents would like to admit. There’s a big contingent of the LGBTQ+ community that would be into religiously subversive stuff_

**_Thanks Moony, I appreciate ur insight + I hope u liked ur mini-gift_ **

_I love it_

**_Last question, do u think I could get away with ‘poetically’ writing about sex?_ **

_Plenty of pop songs do, so yes_

**_U probably have questions + idk that I can give u answers_ **

_Don’t feel bad, please. I won’t ask for more than you can give. What you’ve given me tonight is more than I had hoped for_

**_Someday, it’ll be your birthday and I’ll take you to a nice dinner. Then we’ll come home and there will be wine or something and your favourite dessert._ **

_Chocolate cake_

**_Lol, there will be chocolate cake. Then I'll kiss you and we’ll go to bed, where we'll have weird, nerdy talks in between fantastic sex. One day, that will be our life. And I’m really sorry it isn’t today_ **

_I’m really looking forward to that someday_

**_Happy Birthday Moony! Good night <3_ **

_Thank you for everything Padfoot <3 _

They didn’t properly talk again before graduation, nor did they discuss specifics of university. Padfoot said he was studying music, but left it at that, so Remus followed suit. Unfortunately, Lily was going to London to study medicine at the same university as James, her soulmate for sure now. And Remus was just going up the road to Aberystwyth for university, not even leaving Wales. Not even leaving the familiar. He’d been in hospital there a few times when he was younger.

One late night during freshers week, Remus undressed in his room after a party to find Padfoot writing on his arm.

**_For you Moony:_ **

**_Hands that kiss hymns up your sides  
_ ** **_He confesses how long he’s looked  
_ ** **_For a place to worship, and  
_ ** **_Oh,  
_ ** **_You put him on his knees.  
_ ** **_…  
_ ** **_He says his prayers between your thighs  
_ ** **_And you dig your heels into his spine  
_ ** **_Until he blushes the colour of your filthy tongue.  
_ ** **_You will ruin him and he will say thank you;  
_ ** **_He will say please._ **

A pause that dragged out forever in Remus’s tipsy head.

**_It’s always supposed to be for you. I’m sorry_ **

_It’s beautiful, don’t be sorry_ . A not as tipsy brain cell fired and Remus added to his response. _No matter what led to you writing this, don’t be sorry_

**_I wanted it to be with you. It would have been better with you_ **

_It will be, one day. But until then, don’t be sorry, please_

He drew the single bracket he usually did when making notes on a text around the lines about worship and putting him on his knees. Then he added a quick comment.

_This is brilliant! V evocative!_

**_Ur the ‘you’ in this one_ **

He left it at that and Remus fell into bed confused and hard at the idea of putting Padfoot on his knees and teaching him a different kind of worship.

* * *

For a while, Remus only received the normal kinds of late night poetry. Rather than the regretful, possibly post-coital kind. Remus didn’t like to think of it, but he also didn’t think he had any claim on Padfoot at this point in their very distant acquaintance. But he could tell Padfoot felt guilty over it, so he didn’t mention his mixed feelings. The next strange verse came in the wee hours one morning as Remus plugged away at an essay.

 **_Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know  
_ ** **_I slithered here from Eden, just to sit outside your door_ **

**_Idk where u are Moony but I wish I was there with u instead. I wish I was ready to be there_ **

_Padfoot? This is beautiful, but I’m worried about you_

**_Don’t be. Just drunk and maudlin. I’ll stop writing stuff like that_ **

_It’s okay, don’t stop. I just wish I could do more than tell you how beautiful the things you write me are_

**_U sure?_ **

_Of course, I love when you write to me. Is there someone with you? I don’t like the idea of you being sad and alone_

**_My best mate is home, I just got in_ **

_If you ever want to talk about stuff, we can_

**_I want to but I don’t. Idk if I can talk to u about that til I can be with u. It wouldn’t be fair. Are u alone?_ **

_Right now, yeah. Just writing an essay_

**_I’m sorry for writing u while drunk so often. I should stop_ **

_As long as you’re safe, it’s okay_

**_I’m still sorry but I’m glad we’re okay. Good night Moony_ **

_Night Padfoot_

Remus went to classes as normal, had lunch with his new friend Alice, and wondered about Padfoot when his mind was otherwise idle. Alice had become a good friend, not Lily level, but still close. Eventually, she got a little of the Padfoot story out of him. She agreed with him that Padfoot was probably just going a little wild now that he was out from under his parents’ thumb. He still worried though, and still copied his poetry into his rapidly filling notebook.

Some verses that appeared on his arm seemed to be parts of unfinished things that had been written before. Others seemed to be new or single lines. They almost never had accompanying notes anymore, which Remus wasn’t sure whether to be glad or sad about.

It wasn’t until nearly Christmas that he got another note that concerned him.

**_HI MOON!!!!!_ **

_Hi Padfoot, you ok?_

**_SOOOO WARM!! LEAVING A PARTY! MADE NEW FRIENDS!!!_ **

_I’m glad you found some friends. You seem kinda hyper tonight_

**_NEW FRIENDS GAVE ME SUMTHIN_ **

_What did they give you?_

**_DUNNO_ **

_Padfoot, are you high right now? What did you take?_

**_TOLD U MOON IDK_ **

Remus exhaled sharply through his nose. He already didn’t like these new friends.

_You shouldn’t take mystery drugs from random people. Please don’t do that again._

It took a long moment for Padfoot to reply. So long that Remus thought he should have waited to say it in the morning.

**_Sorry Moony_ **

_I understand wanting to go out and be wild, but please don’t do reckless things that might mean we never get to meet_

**_Didn’t think of that. I’m going home now, promise_ **

_I didn’t expect you to just abandon your friends because of something I said_

**_Ur right, they’re random people. Idk them, just lonely + went looking for a party. Got drunk + they gave me sumthin + it was good + I hooked up with 1 of them but I always feel like shit after bc I go home + write to u + it’s just wrong_ **

_It’s alright if you go out and have fun or hook up sometimes. We’re not dating, Padfoot. We’re a future thing, we agreed on that. But I want you to make it to our future._

He chewed on the end of his pen for a few seconds before he added.

_I was really ill for a long time Padfoot. I didn’t think I was going to make it to our future and it would be awful if I did but you didn’t_

**_I’ll be there. I swear_ **

Fifteen minutes later, Padfoot wrote back again.

**_I’m home now. Alone but I’m not that high anymore. Can I write u something tmw?_ **

_Of course, I love when you write to me_

**_It’ll be late, I’m playing a gig tmw nite. It’s a crap date for a gig + crap pay in a pub but it’s my first_ **

_I’ll be thinking of you. You’ll do well, I know it_

The next night at nearly two in the morning, Remus watched his arm bloom with dark ink.

 **_Without changing a part of me  
_ ** **_How do I get to heaven?  
_ ** **_All my time is wasted  
_ ** **_Feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh  
_ ** **_So if I’m losing a piece of me  
_ ** **_Maybe I don’t want heaven_ **

**_Sorry it’s not super happy but I really like this one_ **

_It’s beautiful anyway. I’m proud that you’re accepting yourself more now, though. How was the gig?_

**_Really good. There were only a few people in the pub but they were all into it. I imagined u were there, hope that’s ok_ **

_It’s always okay. You can always imagine me there in the front row. I am in spirit_

**_I’m gonna from now on. Thank u Moony, ur the best!_ **

_Always <3 _

**_Can I ask a question and then not talk about it again? I’m really curious and I’m still not ready for a real relationship, but I can’t stop myself caring and thinking about it constantly_ **

_You can always ask, but I might not answer_

**_Fair, you said you were really ill for a while. You said a long time ago that’s why you were homeschooled. But you’re in uni now. So, how are you doing? Are you well or is it just manageable? I just want to know something so I’m not worrying over nothing_ **

_I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was nine. I was in hospital and really, really ill for a long time. But I’ve been in remission for just over five years. Every time I got ill after that, I’d end up in hospital for a day or two for observation. But the chances of it returning are pretty low now_

**_Thank u for telling me, I’m sorry u had to go thru all that_ **

_Being ill was tiring and boring, but it was rough on my parents. Mum and I got closer, Dad and I got distant. That was harder to deal with than just sitting in a hospital bed most of the time_

**_I get why she stayed home to teach u. One day I’ll tell u more about my family but right now I’m gonna try to sleep. I’m sorry again about last night_ **

_It’s already forgiven. Sweet dreams, Padfoot_

**_Good night Moony_ **

* * *

Christmas came and went much the same as the previous year. The spring term came and went much as the year previously had. Padfoot seemed to drink and party less and wrote fewer depressing poems about sex on his arm, which just gave Remus even more mixed feelings. He didn’t want to be the reason his soulmate was denying himself. But he also didn’t really want someone else touching his soulmate. He chose to say nothing about it. Padfoot still rarely talked to him in normal conversational messages.

He relayed news, like his best mate getting engaged, and moving out into his own flat. One night he even wrote:

**_Not convo, just news. Dropping out for better job. Night Moony_ **

Remus didn’t reply because he understood Padfoot was asking him not to.

The year that followed was both comfortingly familiar and disorientingly alien. Padfoot’s hours continued to be late and he continued to write little else but lines from songs or poems he was writing. He never wrote messages to Remus anymore. Remus took the hint. It hurt, but he assumed Padfoot was working through things. He wanted to give him space and let him grow. And apparently to write because he always seemed to have inkstained fingers.

He trudged through the wet roads toward his study session with Alice, still seeing the words Padfoot hadn’t washed off their shared arm. It was late April, exams were soon, and he was just tired.

“Remus,” Alice said, waving him over to the table in their usual cafe. His mocha was waiting in front of the empty chair.

“Thanks Al,” he said, taking a sip as he sat.

“You look like you need it. Soulmate keep you up late?”

“No, just insomnia. Shall we get to it?” He slipped off his jacket, but it was still a little too warm in the cafe. Overheated to compensate for the chilly day.

Alice hummed quietly to herself as she marked passages to use later. Her fingers tapped against the book in time with the music in her head. It must have been good to come out of her like this. He smiled.

“What’re you humming?” he asked after she’d hummed it for the third time.

“Oh! Sorry, it’s this newish song. Got pretty popular, but I know you don’t follow anything new,” she teased. He let her tell him about how her soulmate Frank had stumbled across it from a friend and shared it with her while he rolled up his sleeves to combat the warmth of the cafe. “You’ve heard it, or your soulmate has,” she said suddenly.

“Huh?” She pointed to his arm where two snug lines of Padfoot’s handwriting sat.

 **_The only heaven I’ll be sent to  
_ ** **_Is when I’m alone with you_ **

He’d thought it was a continuation of a poem or song Padfoot had been writing some time ago, possibly the one he’d written to Remus on his eighteenth birthday. Which was two years ago now, so maybe that wasn’t the best assumption. Maybe the one he'd written to Remus after his first gig made more sense.

He pulled up Spotify on his laptop. “What’s it called? I want to listen to it.” She turned the laptop, typed ‘Take Me to Church’ in the search bar and let him listen. The voice crooning from his headphones was honeyed and smooth, but desperate. The lines on his arm were in it, but part of the first verse and the chorus were definitely too familiar to not be something Padfoot had written him. Maybe he’d got a job as a songwriter. He typed the song title and artist’s name, Sirius Black, into Google while he listened.

Music and lyrics by Sirius Black. Well fuck.

“What do you think?” Alice asked when he finished.

“I think we should take our stuff and go back to my dorm.”

“Why?” she asked, completely baffled.

His gaze was desperate when he finally looked up. “Can I explain there?”

“Yeah, okay. Go buy us more coffee and I’ll pack up.”

Back in Remus’s narrow residence room, he pulled the battered, mostly full notebook from his bedside table. Alice looked from him to the cover with an expression of polite befuddlement. He sighed.

“I told you my soulmate writes poetry and stuff to me because of personal reasons. That we’ve never met and don’t know each other’s names.” She nodded. She’d asked early on in their friendship and slowly gleaned details about the situation. Remus opened the notebook and flipped to his birthday, two years previously. “He wrote this.”

Alice scanned the page, noting the very familiar chorus and verse. Even the floating line had made it in. Her gaze jumped up to Remus.

“Sirius Black is your soulmate. He’s touring this album right now and he’s your soulmate.”

“Seems like it,” Remus breathed.

“Well, let’s cyberstalk then.” A shocked laugh escaped Remus. Trust Alice to know exactly what to do. He wanted to introduce her to Lily.

An hour later, Remus and Alice had listened to the rest of the songs on the album, most of which matched at least a few lines Remus had copied into his notebook. They’d also discovered that Sirius had dropped out of university in London the previous year, as Remus already knew, that his birthday was November 3rd, as Remus remembered, that he never talked about his family in interviews, and that he’d gone to Hogwarts Academy, the same boarding school as Lily. Remus almost couldn’t believe it. Except for that conversation the summer after Padfoot had started writing to him. About her friend with family problems. Had she called him Siri?

Alice sat with him while he called Lily.

“Remus! Hey, is everything alright? You don’t usually call, especially not around exams.”

“I’m fine-ish, thanks Lil.” He took a breath. “Before I ask, I want you to know that if you don’t answer me, I’m going to take the train to London and beat down your door until you do.”

“Uh...okay?”

“Did you know Sirius Black in school?”

“Oh, that wasn’t what I expected,” she said. “Yeah, I knew him pretty well. He’s James’s best mate. We used to hang out last year, well, after he stopped partying so much.”

Remus swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. “Remember when we talked about my soulmate that first summer?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Was Sirius the friend with the family problems?”

“Remus, I know that he’s—”

“I will beat down your door, Lily. Tell me.”

He’d never taken that tone with her before. Her breath drew in sharply. Angry and surprised that he would act like he could order her to do anything, but he didn’t care. This was important and she would understand.

“Yes, okay? It was. Sirius’s parents are horrible. Why else do you think he writes so many dark ‘fuck you’s to religion?”

“Because he’s gay and his parents are religious homophobes. He left his family literally the day he turned eighteen. He’s been writing Take Me to Church for at least two years. And the December before he dropped out he went to a party because James wasn’t home and hooked up with someone and they gave him mystery drugs. He hasn’t really partied like that since.”

There was perfect silence on the other end. Then Lily drew in a rattling breath.

“How do you know that?”

“Because he wrote lines from that song to me for my eighteenth birthday. Because he wrote to me as he left the party and I was _not_ happy that he let some rando drug him with who knows what in god knows what dose. He had a gig the next night.”

“Oh god, he’s your soulmate. I should’ve seen that.”

Remus sighed. “I just thought it was a coincidence.”

“He’s on tour, maybe we should deal with that when he comes back. I’m sorry, Rem. I don’t want to disrupt him. It’s all so new, he doesn’t know how to manage it yet.”

“He hasn’t said that he wants a relationship with me yet,” Remus said.

“He does,” Lily said. “He just doesn’t think he’s good enough. Look, I’m going to call him tomorrow. _If_ he’s doing well, maybe you can let him know that you know who he is, but leave the rest alone for now. He’s not going back in the closet, so that won’t be his issue, okay?”

“Alright, but I’m going to wait until after exams to talk to him.”

Once he hung up, Alice squeezed him in a tight hug. Remus pushed himself through revising for two days until Lily called him back.

“Hey Rem, you’re on speaker with me and James.”

“Hi Remus, nice to meet you.”

“Hi James, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All of it probably true,” James laughed.

“How are you doing?” Lily asked.

“I’m revising for an exam, slowly, but I’m handling it kind of okay. As long as I ignore the fact that I walked into the student union yesterday and his song was playing, and that I actually know some of the conversations that sparked some of those lines. Then yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine that my soulmate performed on Ellen and Graham Norton and the Late Show.”

“Breathe Rem,” Lily said. He did, slowly. His finger traced the lines from the song that were still inked onto his arm.

“So, we talked to Padfoot. Sorry, Sirius—”

“It’s okay, James. I’ve been calling him Padfoot. He didn’t want to exchange names back when we were in school.”

“Right, well, we talked to Pads and he’s doing okay but he’s trying to get through without talking to you because he feels like he’s lying to you. That’s what I got from it. And I think he feels bad that your conversations are all on his terms, like he made you feel bad for initiating or something.”

“I just didn’t want to overwhelm him,” Remus said. “He seemed so uncertain. He needed space to be himself first.”

“Now I think he needs you,” Lily said. “And he’s afraid to ask, god knows why. He said you were always there for him, even when he didn’t know he needed you.”

“He said some things about hooking up and feeling bad because you knew what he’d done or something, but that’s just his parents' slut shaming rearing up inside his head,” James added.

Remus hummed, uncertain that was completely right. “Yeah, he’s mentioned that. And I can admit that I feel kind of possessive over him, but I have a future claim on him, not a present one. I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t mind.”

“I think you should mention it when your exams are over,” Lily said. “I think he’ll be okay, even if he doesn’t think so.”

“Right, okay. Thanks for checking on him,” Remus said.

“We’re always here for both of you,” James said. “And I really want to thank you, Remus, for everything you’ve said to him since you started writing. I know it’s helped him.”

“I’m always happy to be here for him, and for both of you. I’ve gotta get back to revising, though. I’ll let you know how it goes with Sirius.”

Somehow, Remus struggled through his exams. Even though he heard his soulmate crooning about their relationship and the injustices of the church everywhere he went. Frank and Alice were the only ones who knew why he sometimes just needed to sit down when he heard the song.

At an end of term party, Remus got into a heated discussion with some English bloke named Benjy about Sirius's music. He'd written a short piece on the album for the school paper after the single blew up and Remus had a bone to pick.

"He's a one hit wonder and nothing more," Benjy said.

"You're just wrong. Take Me to Church has just overshadowed the rest of the album," Remus argued.

"Yeah, because moody, horny, religious themed music is so popular," Benjy shot back.

" _Queer,_ horny, religious themed music," Remus corrected. "There's clearly an audience for it or he wouldn't be selling out shows."

Alice tugged on his elbow. "Rem, let's just leave it."

"Negging is pretty 2004, mate. D'you wanna just go upstairs and fuck out our differences?" Benjy asked, so smug you'd almost think he'd handed Remus his arse with some stunning feat of logic rather than trying to get a hate fuck out of it.

"No!" Remus shouted. He'd messed around with a bloke during freshers week, but it was different. He hadn't wanted to go that far with Padfoot's poetry on his arm, and he _really_ didn't want to now that he knew his name.

This time, Alice was able to drag him away. He grumbled an apologetic goodbye to her and walked back to his room where he undressed and flopped into bed. On his arm were a few lines from one of the bonus tracks on Sirius's album.

 **_I wanna be free, I wanna be loved  
_ ** **_I wanna be more than you're thinking of_ **

_You are,_ Remus wrote back. _I'm here, my exams are over and I'm here. A little drunk, but here_

For long moments, there was no response. Then dark ink bloomed across his skin again.

**_I'm sorry I've been so absent this year_ **

_Don't apologize, I've been busy too, but you're always welcome to talk to me. I treasure the things you write_

**_You can talk to me too. I didn't mean to make it seem like you had to wait for me to start it_ **

_Can I tell you a secret then?_

**_Always_ **

_I heard your song, and now I hear it everywhere_

**_I wondered when that would happen. What'd u think?_ **

_Padfoot, you know what I think of your writing. Your voice is just as beautiful. I went home right after Alice played it for me and we listened to the whole album, it's amazing!_

**_Thanks Moony, it means a lot coming from u_ **

_Another secret, I was just at a party and I got into it with a bloke from the school paper about how he underrated your album_

**_Moony! You don't have to get into fights for me!_ **

_But I will anyway <3 _

**_That is both hilarious and horrifying, no more fighting for you_ **

_Only for you_

**_Makes me all tingly that u stick up for me tho, even to some school paper twerp_ **

_Good, I feel the same about you recording a song you wrote partially for me_

**_All for you <3 Did you win the argument?_ **

_Considering he had to resort to telling me that negging wasn't cool and we should shag to settle our differences, yes. I won with logic_

**_Did you shag him?_ **Sirius wrote a long minute later, words shakier than they had been.

_Of course not, he was an arse who said shit about my soulmate_

**_As always, ur the best Moony. So u kno my name now, can I kno urs?_ **

_Remus Lupin, feel free to cyberstalk me_

**_I'm gonna add u on all my accounts but I still wanna talk to u here, is that ok?_ **

_Yeah, Padfoot, it's wonderful. And I don't want to disrupt your tour schedule, but you can definitely write to me whenever_

**_So can u, I'm absolutely terrified about all this but my best mate says running away won't make it less scary. I think he's right but I'm not telling him that_ **

_Obv not, lol, I'm going to bed Pads. Night <3 _

**_Good night Moony <3_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next time: Remus and Sirius get to know each other better while Sirius tours
> 
> Quotes/Lyrics  
> 1) "I used to build dreams about you" - F. Scott Fitzgerald  
> This is one of my favorite Fitzgerald quotes, which is why it's also the title. Also, I once lived in a building that Fitzgerald once lived in.
> 
> 2) "If the heavens ever did speak..." "Take me to church..." "There is no sweeter innocence..." - Take Me to Church by Hozier
> 
> 3) "Hands that kiss hymns up your sides..." PROFANE by Ashe Vernon  
> This is part of a much longer poem with even more religious imagery and it's amazing. You should check it out at https://latenightcornerstore.com/post/100144500080/the-first-time-he-calls-you-holy-you-laugh-it
> 
> 4) "Innocence died screaming..." From Eden by Hozier
> 
> 5) "Without changing a part of me..." Heaven by Troye Sivan
> 
> 6) "The only heaven I'll be sent to..." Take Me to Church by Hozier
> 
> 7) "I wanna be free..." I Wanna Be Free by Panic! At The Disco


	2. A Socially Acceptable Way to Hoard Books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer lovin', spent apart, writing to each other because it be like that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote literally 20 pages of these two dorks house hunting when I was supposed to be sleeping last night, therefore you get another chapter today. Also, I originally cut this chapter here, then thought it was too long, then decided to go back to the longer version rather than include the ending bit in the next chapter. I figured I had enough material in reserve to give you all a big chapter.
> 
> There is some angst at the end, the Black family is trash, but it's also really distant
> 
> Sirius writes **_like this_**  
>  Remus writes _like this_  
>  Texts and an interview are clearly labeled

Three days after he talked to Sirius, and back home for the summer, Remus got a call from Lily.

"Whatever you did, good job," she said by way of greeting.

"Uh, okay," Remus said.

"Sirius called James yesterday, something about you two having a good talk. He was really happy, and less stressed than he's been since he left on tour."

"Oh, I'm glad. He seemed better when we talked, but that might've been because I told him about the argument I got into with the school paper's music editor over his album."

Lily laughed. "Of course you would, I bet Sirius loved that."

"Yeah, he didn't like that the bloke tried to get a shag out of it, but neither did I. He's got my name now too, so that's probably helped a bit."

"Whoa, hold up. School paper bloke tried to what now?"

"Hate sex, I guess?" Remus replied. "Said I was negging him, but I was actually refuting his shitty review with logic." Lily was laughing fondly at him again. "Anyway, I know James thinks Sirius feels bad for hooking up because of his parents' slut shaming, but I think he just feels like it should be us together instead."

"How do you figure that?"

"The way he's said some things, and how shaky his writing gets when he does."

"Oh," she breathed. "How do you feel about it?"

Remus sighed. "I have a lot of mixed emotions. I mean it when I tell him he can do what he wants because we're not in a relationship. But that doesn't mean I want to think about another guy touching him. I will definitely not stop him writing to me after, even though it hurts. I think it hurts him more and if it does, I wish he would stop."

"He's always had a self-destructive streak."

"I'm not surprised," Remus said. "We'll hold each other together, though."

"I'm glad you two are soulmates," Lily said. "James is too. We haven't told him that we know you yet."

"I'm going to, next time he's in a chatty mood. I don't feel right keeping that a secret. You and I have pictures together online and he's going to figure it out."

"Alright, if you think it'll go well."

"The truth is pretty benign, Lil. Why would I keep it from him? It's gonna be fine."

Lily carefully agreed and they set about planning a long weekend trip for Remus to visit them in London later in the summer. Sirius wouldn't be back until the autumn, so Remus would only get to meet James.

  
A few nights later, Sirius wrote again.

**_Last night I played to the biggest crowd I've ever been in front of. I imagined u were in the front row + it wasn't as scary_ **

_I'm so proud of you! I wish I was there, but I'm always with you_

**_Thanks Moony, it's nice to have a face to imagine now too_ **

_You've stalked my instagram, haven't you?_

**_Not as much as I'd like. Been busy but I saw the pic ur friend Alice took after ur exams finished_ **

_Oh, that's not so bad_

**_Not bad?! Moony! Ur so cute! U didn't tell me u were both adorable + hot_ **

_I wouldn't say I am, but thanks. You never asked. You also never mentioned how hot you are, so thanks for that_

**_Well, I suppose I have grown into myself_ **

_And you’re so modest_

**_U wound me, Moony_ **

_Sure I do...hey, can I tell you another secret?_

**_Always, I collect Moony secrets_ **

_I've been friends with Lily Evans since I was 10. Her parents have a cottage near my house and we hang out during the summer. I didn't know she knew you until Alice and I cyberstalked you after she played me your song_

**_Does she kno ur my soulmate?_ **

_Yeah, and she was the first person I told about you back when we first started to talk. Other than Mum. She mentioned a friend in a similar situation, but neither of us knew we were both talking about you_

**_She's called me a few times since u told her, hasn't she?_ **

_At least once, she doesn't tell me every time she calls...I'm sorry I didn't say something right away, but it's a lot to process. I just didn't want you to go through my IG and see selfies of us and think we were hiding it. She was just worried how you'd react_

**_I haven't exactly reacted well to all the soulmate stuff up to now, have I?_ **

_Don't blame yourself, you had other shit to handle. I think Lily was being a little too delicate anyway. I just don't want you to hate me because we didn't tell you about this weird coincidence right away_

**_I could never hate u. I'm not even mad, just sorta fuzzy and confused. Ur really close, aren't u?_ **

_She's my best friend, pretty much my only friend before uni_

**_Did u call her before u told me?_ **

_Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just really overwhelmed by finding out who you are so suddenly and then realizing she probably knew you from school_

**_Oh shit! I hadn't even thought about how u must be handling finding out. U always have ur shit together for me + I'm falling down on the job checking in on u_ **

_No you're not_

**_I am. How are u handling it?_ **

_It's weird, but not in a bad way. Sometimes I walk into a shop or something and I'll recognize the song and just need a minute. It's a little strange knowing the person singing writes sad poems on my arm. But it's more that I have to keep reminding myself you're not the faceless sad boy named Padfoot anymore_

**_I still write sad poems on ur arm. I'm still just a sad boy named Padfoot. I'm ur Padfoot_ **

_Oh love, I know. It's just an adjustment. It'll be less jarring with time. I'm fine. How are you doing?_

**_I don't know. I feel better, like making u real made us real + I just feel better acting like we're already together. I know we're not + I'm kinda scared to meet u but excited too. I'm upset I won't be back in England til ur back in class but I'm a little glad we have time to adjust_ **

_Padfoot, do you want to be in a relationship?_

**_With you, more than anything_ **

_We don't have to meet to already be together. We can start now or wait until we meet, whatever you want_

**_Can I get back to u on that?_ **

_Yes, of course_

**_Thanks Moony. Have u met James?_ **

_Only on the phone, I'm going to see them in London in July_

**_Smack him for me? He definitely knew when he called the other day. He's such a traitor_ **

_Lol, sure Pads, I'll knock him for you_

**_Omg I just found a cute selfie of little Moony! Ur so bloody adorable I might die when I meet u_ **

_You_ _might die? I saw a backlit pic of you with your hair falling out of your bun yesterday and I literally had to sit down you're so attractive_

**_We have to stop, I'm gonna get too riled up + I have a meet-n-greet in 20 mins_ **

_Do we need to wash this off?_

**_Eh later is fine. I've been wearing long sleeves, mostly to avoid gossip. My parents are already kicking up a fuss back home. I heard they petitioned the BBC to ban TMtC for being anti-religion + 'leading children to Satan'_ **

_I will single-handedly lead a protest against them_

**_You don't need to get into fights for me_ **

_They hurt you and stifled you for your entire childhood. It would be a pleasure to take them down_

**_They have money + standing + titles. Don't throw urself on their spears for me_ **

_When you eventually have to come up against them again, I'll be with you. No matter what_

**_I couldn't ask for a better soulmate, Remus. I have to go but we can talk more later <3_ **

_Later then <3 _

  
Remus found himself comfortable wearing shorter sleeves and rolling up his long sleeved shirts in deference to the heat in the days that followed. He hoped to feel Sirius writing to him when he had spare time. After checking his tour schedule online, Remus knew Sirius was in New York for a few shows before he continued around America, playing occasional festivals along the way. He was wary of the time difference, but hopeful that they might get to talk sometime that wasn't the middle of the night.

Midmorning, a few days after their talk, he got his wish.

**_I'm playing Good Morning America in 20 mins_ **

_Omg that's huge! I'm proud of you, Pads_

**_Scary tho_ **

_You'll be amazing, you always are_

**_How do u kno?_ **

_I've watched all your performances that are on YouTube_

**_Oh god. MOONY!!_ **

_What? I wanted to see you play_

**_But I'm so awkward on TV, its embarrassing_ **

_You're really not. You play to the crowd so well, you don't even realize they're all in love with you. I'm jealous_

**_Of the crowd?_ **

_Yes! And kinda of you for being so charming, I'm a mess_

**_I don't feel charming. I feel like a puny gay disaster_ **

_You can't see me rolling my eyes, but I am. Padfoot, you're a petite gay prince charming, regardless of being a disaster_

**_U think so?_ **

_Yes, every crowd is enamored with you_

**_Thanks Moony <3 Watch the next SNL, I'm playing_ **

_I know, Mum and I are planning to watch_

**_Have u told her?_ **

_Just that you're Lily's friend_

**_U can, I don't mind_ **

_Okay I will_

**_Gtg Moons <3_ **

_Have a good show Pads <3 _

  
On Sunday afternoon, Remus and Hope crowded onto the sofa together to watch Sirius's SNL performance on youtube through their television. He rubbed vaguely at the star Sirius had drawn on the back of his wrist the day before.

"I'm glad you two have started writing," she said, noticing his fidgeting. "Do you know who he is?"

"Yeah, but he's away for work, so we can't meet for a while."

"I'm sorry, cariad," Hope said.

Remus shrugged. "It's okay. I'm proud that he's putting all the poetry he writes me to good use."

"Oh, what's he doing?"

He clicked play. "Well, this actually."

On the screen, the lights came up and Sirius made almost sultry eye contact with the camera, hands wrapped around the microphone on the stand in front of him. A dark brown archtop guitar hung from his shoulders. The star on Remus's wrist sat on Sirius's wrist too, ink dark and fresh.

"My lover's got humour," Sirius sang, slowing the song into a soft caress. "He's the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshipped him sooner."

Hope looked closely as the camera zoomed in to focus on Sirius's face and his hands around the microphone. A little gasp slipped past her lips and she grabbed Remus's hand.

"The star," she said. "He drew it yesterday."

Sirius kept crooning on their small TV. "If the heavens ever did speak, he's the last true mouthpiece."

"He wrote that to me on my eighteenth birthday," Remus whispered.

"You're sure it's him?"

"Yeah, a lot of his songs match up to things he wrote me years ago. And I checked with Lily that stuff I knew about him matched up. Her soulmate is his best friend."

Hope wrapped an arm around him and squeezed. "Is he doing better?"

"So much better, Mum. I think we're going to see each other when he gets back from his tour."

"Which is when?"

"Late September."

"Will you go see him or will he come see you?"

"I don't know yet, we'll figure it out. I don't want to overwhelm him while he's so busy."

On the screen, Sirius looked up, right into the camera and straight into Remus's soul. "There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin," he sang, words soft and slow. For the first time since they'd started properly talking, Remus really understood how much Sirius had grown into himself. He really believed now that their relationship could be every bit as sweet and lovely and natural as James and Lily's.

Remus switched to his second performance when the first ended. Playing his hit single was kind of a gimme, so Remus was curious which song Sirius had chosen for the second one. As the music started, he realized it was one of the more upbeat songs. Hallelujah. Not his additional verses to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, but his own song. Which Remus had mixed feelings about. It strongly referenced Sirius's hookups with other guys, but it was also about Sirius being comfortable in himself and using the language of his childhood oppression to express that. Remus was proud of the complexity he'd worked into such a fun, dance-y song.

"He's very good, isn't he?" Hope said. "Does he write most of it himself?"

"Almost all of it," Remus said. He watched Sirius jam on his guitar with the band, bouncing around and engaging the crowd. "He thinks he's awkward with crowds," Remus scoffed. "Everyone is so charmed by him."

"I don't blame them," Hope said. "I expect you to bring him over so I can be charmed in person."

"I will, when he's ready."

They watched Sirius finish his song and take a bow to great applause. He was red-faced and out of breath and grinning. Remus was quite glad he was sitting down.

"Tell him I think he's very talented when you talk to him," Hope said.

A little later, in his room, Remus pulled out his ink pen to write to Sirius.

_We just watched your SNL performances. You were amazing! Mum says you're very talented and she can't wait to meet you_

**_Thank her for me_ ** , Sirius wrote back a few minutes later. **_I have the morn off, if u wanna talk_ **

_I'd love to, I always love talking to you_

**_I love it too. I know I apologize a lot, but I am sorry I pushed you away for so long_ **

_Don't be, I'm just happy to see you settled into who you are. I was just thinking about it watching you sing Hallelujah. Good song choices btw_

**_Thanks Moony, I wanted to sing Too Good but 1 song had to be upbeat_ **

_I love that one too. And Mum agrees that you charm every crowd_

**_I guess I have to take ur word for it. Hey, do u think u could come to London for a wkd in fall? Oct or Nov?_ **

_Probably, depending on essays and exams_

**_Would u want to?_ **

_Yes Padfoot, I want to visit you. You're welcome to visit me too_

**_U wouldn't mind?_ **

_I'd love it! You might have to meet Alice but I'd love to visit when and where we can_

**_I was thinking for my bday, wkd in London with J+L_ **

_That sounds perfect! I'm already excited_

**_Me too, just kinda worried about press. I don't want them to mob u + don't want my family to say shit_ **

_I don't take judgment from homophobes, so I don't care what they say about me_

**_Fuck ur amazing_ **

_I'm not, just don't have the capacity for that bs_

**_I see why u + Lil are friends_ **

_Lol, true, she's great. How are things otherwise?_

**_Ok, tour is good but busy. I think I wanna spread them out with more breaks after this_ **

_Not a bad plan_

**_And I said something in an interview that might bite me in the arse, about my parents_ **

_What interview?_

**_GMA, ur gonna watch it aren't u?_ **

_If it's gonna come back to bite you, I should know what to watch out for_

**_Alright, ignore how awkward I sound_ **

_Shut up, you charmed the pants off the interviewer_

**_Not the person whose pants I want to charm off_ **

_You'll do just fine when you get back_

**_Moony! Ur making me blush_ **

_You started it lol. Okay, I see what you mean, but it was a pretty small throwaway comment_

**_My parents have a 6th sense for me badmouthing them, which is ironic bc they believe a 6th sense would be blasphemous_ **

_Hopefully they didn't see it then_

**_I hope but I don't wanna talk about them anymore. Tell me something about u_ **

_What do you wanna know?_

**_Anything! Fav stuff, height, pet hates, whatever_ **

_Well, I'm 6'3", so way taller than you. I could probably pick you up_

**_Omg, ur a tree! Or an ent!_ **

_You gonna climb me?_

**_Stop making me blush! It's not even noon here! but yes, I am_ **

_You're cute <3 You mentioned ents, do you like LOTR? _

**_Love it! Book and films, tho I've read the hobbit more times_ **

_Same, it's less daunting. Do you like fantasy then?_

**_I do, it was a good escape but now I just love the world building + what it says about our world_ **

_I agree! The best fantasy is like that. But I also like Shakespeare and 19th cent lit. Poe is great!_

**_I've only read the raven. Recs?_ **

_Annabel Lee, short but sad. Cask of Amontillado, Tell-Tale Heart, both short stories. He does odd, thoughtful horror well_

**_I'll put them on my list to read on the tour bus_ **

_Do you have any recs? Something you like that I should read_

**_Nothing so high brow_ **

_I read cereal boxes, Pads, if you put words in front of me I'll read them_

**_Ok, have u read Artemis Fowl?_ **

_Nope, fantasy?_

**_Yeah, but kinda sci fi + mythology. It's a series I read as a kid. The big msg is about how our memories + exp create who we are_ **

_It's going on my summer reading list. Have you read Good Omens?_

**_Wasn't allowed to, but I've heard it's good?_ **

_I think you'd love it. It's basically biblical satire and about how choices define us more than the side we say we're on_

**_I'm gonna try to read it before I get back, that sounds great!_ **

_We can always chat about it, I love discussing books_

**_That's essentially ur degree_ **

_True_

**_Ugh, I'm being summoned. Write later?_ **

_Anytime, have a good day <3 _

**_You too Moonbeam <3_ **

  
They wrote on and off for the next few weeks, trading tidbits, favourite colours, guilty pleasure snacks, pet hates. Sirius was constantly busy with planned tour events and attempts to sleep or unwind. The time difference didn't make it any better. Remus took to writing occasional notes wishing Sirius a good day or sweet dreams and Sirius replied at odd hours, always with a heart or smiley face.

Once July rolled around, Remus packed up his duffel bag for his planned long weekend in London. He couldn't wait to see Lily and he was excited to meet James properly. Hope dropped him at the rail station in the morning, kissed his cheek, and insisted he give her love to Lily. Once his train got going, Remus settled in with the fourth Artemis Fowl book. He was enjoying the series so far and he was completely charmed to imagine a young Sirius devouring these books.

Armed with directions, Remus transferred to the correct underground line when he got to London. Lily met him outside the station.

"Remus!" she called, throwing her arms around him.

"Hi Lil," he chuckled. She tugged him down the road. "How are you? How's James?"

"Good, we're good. Wedding planning is driving me crazy. You know I'm making you stuff envelopes with save-the-dates while you're here, right?"

Remus laughed. "I didn’t, but I don't mind. You finally settled on a date, then?"

"December. We wanted to be sure Sirius would be back and everyone in uni would be on break. Almost everyone else is in London, so most don't have to travel," she said.

"Thanks, Lil."

"Don't thank me yet," she said. "I have favours to ask of you."

"Oh no, that sounds ominous," he said. She just laughed, which only proved his point.

Lily unlocked the door to the flat, pointing things out as they stepped inside. "That used to be Sirius's room, but it's the guest room now. When James asked me to move in, Sirius decided to give us some space, even though he didn't need to."

"Maybe he needed it," Remus said. "Though I don't like him being alone. It's not good for him."

"You're good for him though. Apparently he's been texting James all sorts of happy things."

"Oh," Remus said, blushing. "We've been talking a lot more. Whenever he's free."

"Aw, you're cute. Go put your stuff down. I want to get some wedding stuff done before James gets home with take away."

Remus dropped his duffel on the guest bed. There were no traces of Sirius left in the room, though he found himself wishing for them. He toed off his trainers and padded out to join Lily on the living room floor.

"So, you know how I always hoped Petunia would get over herself?"

"Yeah," Remus said. "She hasn't? Colour me surprised."

"Yes, thank you, Mr Snarky. She still hates James for being Indian and refuses to even come to the wedding."

"I'm sorry, Lil."

She shrugged. "I'm dealing with it. I didn't really expect her to love me more than she hates anyone who isn't white, but I had hoped. Anyway, because she's terrible, will you be my Man of Honour?"

"Oh! Yes, of course!" He pulled her into a hug. She squeezed back. "I'm so touched that you want me to do it instead of one of your school friends."

"They're my bridesmaids. But you and I have been friends forever, Rem. Besides, you'll be escorted by Sirius." Remus laughed at her teasing tone. "You'll have to meet up before then."

"We're going to visit for his birthday, if not before."

She squeezed him tight again, though she was interrupted by the door swinging open. A tall man with outrageously messy black hair and round glasses came through the door with a messenger bag and a large paper bag of take away food.

"Moony!" James greeted at top volume.

"Hi James, did Padfoot tell you his nickname for me?"

James scoffed. "Mate, he talks about you all the time. Moony this and Moony that. It's so fucking cute." He grinned brightly. He plopped the food on the coffee table and dropped his bag on the floor. "Gimme a hug, Remus. We're proper mates now."

Remus laughed as he was tugged up into a tight hug. "Good thing. We're going to be stuck together for the rest of our lives, since we're best friends with each other's soulmate."

James grinned. "I'm so glad you two are talking, mate. Did Lily talk to you about the wedding?" Remus nodded. "Great! You should tell Pads. Actually! We should send him a picture of us with dinner. It's his favourite."

Lily rolled her eyes, but gestured for them to gather around the food she'd been unpacking while they were talking. With Lily in the middle, James took a photo of them on his phone, texting it to Sirius with the caption: ‘Your fav dinner and your fav boy are here, too bad you're not.’ Remus snorted. He could so easily imagine the brotherly teasing that went on between them.

Halfway through dinner, Remus felt Sirius writing on his arm. He rolled up his sleeve.

**_James is so mean =( I wish I was there. Enjoy my pad thai for me_ **

Remus finished eating before he dug out a pen to answer.

_I did, it was delicious, but I wish you were here too. Good news though, you're escorting me at J+L's wedding_

**_I am? I was gonna ask u to come with me, did Lil beat me to it?_ **

_I'm her man of honour now, Petunia pulled out_

**_That bitch. But I'm glad ur in the wedding_ **

_Same, though I've been voluntold to do wedding labour this weekend_

**_Have fun! Send me cute pics of u guys <3_ **

_We will <3  
  
_

Remus, Lily, and James all sent Sirius assorted pictures of their visit and all the wedding errands they were running that weekend. The second night, Lily sent him a picture of James and Remus in a pile of stationary, stuffing save-the-dates and sticking address labels, with the caption: ‘Put our boys to work.’ He texted back almost immediately, being in between scheduled events.

 **Sirius  
** Tell Remus to write me  
I’m bored and I miss him

 **Lily  
** Write him yourself  
Besides, he’s mine for the weekend  
You get him all the time

 **Sirius  
** =(

 **Lily  
** Your puppy dog eyes don’t work on me  
Try Remus  
  


A few minutes later, Remus scrunched up his sleeve to see what Sirius had written to him.

**_I’m bored! Lil stole u from me =(_ **

_We’re in the bridal party, Pads. I’m helping bc ur not here. Also she’s giving me food and beer_

**_But...puppy dog eyes =(_ **

_I can’t actually see them Pads, just a pouty doodle_

A moment later, Remus’s phone pinged with an instagram message from Sirius. He opened it quickly, very aware of Lily’s amused gaze. The picture was of Sirius, curled up in a chair somewhere, pouting dramatically at the camera with big, wide grey eyes.

 **Remus  
** That’s cheating  
But fine, this is faster than writing, if that’s ok

 **Sirius  
** It’s perf  
Just wanna talk to u  
I’m reading Good Omens while we travel  
Am I imagining the queer themes?

 **Remus  
** Nope, tho technically Az and Crowley aren’t male humans  
So technically not gay, but man shaped and in love yeah

 **Sirius  
** I love it, thanks for encouraging me to read it  
I’m making notes in my copy!  
Haven’t done that in yrs

 **Remus  
** Lol, ur adorable, I’m glad you love it  
Everything else ok?

 **Sirius  
** It’s feast or famine, is that the phrase?

 **Remus  
** Yes

 **Sirius  
** Too much and then nothing over and over  
But its ok, I’m tired all the time  
Gonna sleep for a week when I come home  
Then see you, angel

 **Remus  
** Are you saying I’m the Aziraphale in this relationship?

 **Sirius  
** Are u saying u wouldn’t have ur own bookshop as a socially acceptable way to hoard books?

 **Remus  
** I feel so called out  
Yet so understood

 **Sirius  
** Ur desire is valid, angel <3

 **Remus  
** Thanks love <3  
Lily is glaring at me to get back to work  
Talk later?

 **Sirius  
** Tmw probs  
Good night Moony

 **Remus  
** Night Pads

  
James nudged him companionably as he got back to stuffing envelopes. “You two are so cute,” James said. “He thinks you’re great, you know?”

“Yeah, he’s kind of said. I think he’s pretty great too,” Remus said, feeling his neck prickle with heat. “He’s reading Good Omens—”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s enjoying it. It’s right up his alley,” Lily said.

“He thinks I’m Aziraphale. He’s calling me angel now.” They both burst into giggles. “Yeah, he’s cute and dumb. I can’t wait for him to come home so I can see him.”

“Aww, Moony,” James cooed, squeezing him with one arm. Remus stifled a laugh, playfully wriggling out of James's grasp.

They ribbed him goodnaturedly for the rest of the weekend. Lily made pointed comments about things he and Sirius should consider when they got married, how she and James better be their Best Man and Woman, and how lucky they were to get a trial run of all the wedding stuff now so they would be old hat when it was their turn. Rather than rise to the bait, Remus alternately pretended to ignore her or affected overeagerness. James, predictably, found both responses hilarious. And Remus found himself wishing he had gone to school with them. Not just for Sirius's sake.

"I know you're excited for real, under all your snark," Lily said as she hugged him goodbye at the rail station.

"I admit nothing," Remus said. He grinned down at her. "I'll text when I'm home."

"You better, James would be devastated if something happened to his new best friend." He laughed and hugged her again.

Once he was on the train, he dug out a pen to write to Sirius.

_I'm leaving J+L's, on the train now_

**_I kno, James sent me sad faces bc ur gone =( he's not allowed to steal u from me_ **

_No chance of that, they're already planning our wedding for us_

**_Is this u proposing? ;)_ **

_No Padfoot, I'll do that in person_

**_Omg Moony, I tease and you have to be all sweet_ **

_Obv I can teasingly propose as often as you want, but you'll know when I mean it. Well, I'll always mean it, but when it's for real_

**_I'm not blushing, ur blushing_ **

_Dork_

**_Guilty, idk how anyone thinks I'm cool_ **

_You dress like it, very convincing_

**_The leather jacket makes the man, as they say_ **

_They don't_

**_=( rude_ **

_Can't have you blushing all the time, gotta keep you on your toes. What are you up to today?_

**_Just a mag interview after lunch_ **

_Ooooh, what magazine?_

**_...rolling stone, I almost don't believe it_ **

_Exciting! I'm so proud of you_

**_U kno I'm proud of u too, right? I dropped out but I kno uni is a lot of work + ur course has so much writing_ **

_Thanks Pads, that means a lot_

**_What do u wanna do with ur degree? U never said_ **

_I think I wanna teach, is that weird for a homeschooled kid?_

**_I don't think so, esp since ur mum was a teacher. U must have a good perspective_ **

_I hope so. I was thinking, since it's my last year, maybe I'll apply for a teaching course in London next year_

**_Would u wanna live with me?_ **

_That was my hope, love_

**_I'm smiling so wide my manager just told me my face would stick like this_ **

_You're adorable_

**_I'm excited! I can't wait to be back in London so we can visit_ **

_Honestly same. It felt like you were everywhere this weekend, but I didn't get to see you, just hear all the shit you got up to with James_

**_Ugh, he's such a traitor_ **

_Like an embarrassing brother_

**_Exactly! =( I have to go. Lmk when u get home, angel <3_ **

_Will do, have a good interview, love_

  
Halfway through August, Remus bought the next issue of Rolling Stone at the local newsagents so he could read Sirius's interview. He'd been uncharacteristically happy about it afterward and hadn't done as much press in the weeks since. Remus waited to read the article until he was tucked away in his room, where he could swoon over his soulmate in private.

"A New Face for LGBTQ+ Music by Emmeline Vance" the headline read.

"I sat down with singer-songwriter Sirius Black in between stops on his first major tour. He'll be finishing up the tour of his debut album _Broken Hallelujah_ in over a dozen major European cities before returning home to London. We sat down at the end of the American leg of his tour to discuss music, new fame, and our shared hometown."

**EV: Thanks for sitting down with me, Sirius!**

SB: Well, thank you for having me. I'm kind of still waiting for someone to jump out and say this was a prank my best mate planned for me. I can't believe Rolling Stone wants to talk to me. [He chuckles self-deprecatingly]

 **EV: You** **have** **been top of the charts for months now. And you've changed what people consider 'queer-themed' music. What do you think of that? Was that your intention?**

SB: Not really, I guess. I just wanted music in my style that was about people like me. I've always liked artists like Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, even though I could only listen to them at school, because they were never afraid to sing about being who they were. That was revolutionary to me, and I don't think I'm that for other people, but that's where the desire comes from, I think.

**EV: The desire to represent your sexuality in your music?**

SB: Yeah, I just wanted songs that were gay without always being about typical 'gay' topics, like coming out and societal pressures. [He chuckles] Which is exactly what Take Me to Church is about, in a way. But a lot of the others are about normal soulmate and relationship struggles. And self-discovery. I think I'm young enough for that to still be universal.

**EV: And a lot about your fraught relationship with religion. Or am I reading too much into that?**

SB: You're reading the right amount into that. I do have a complicated, unpleasant relationship with organized religion. My family is staunchly and conservatively religious. Conservative the adjective, not necessarily the political party. They've voiced a lot of homophobic beliefs, which were obviously really difficult for me to deal with when I was younger.

**EV: How did you handle that, if I may ask? Other than writing songs.**

SB: With music definitely, but I was in boarding school for most of my life. Posh, I know, but better than being at home in my opinion. I made friends there that introduced me to other ideas and positive gay icons. And my soulmate actually, he introduced me to ideas about religion I hadn't dared to consider. Which really sparked my personal quest to learn about pre-Christian and non-western religions, and that indirectly led to Take Me to Church. [He lights up talking about his soulmate, brighter even than when deconstructing his music]

**EV: He sounds pretty special. You haven't talked about him in other interviews.**

SB: I never wanted the soulmate gossip to follow me, hence always wearing long sleeves, but it has anyway. [He shrugs] So I might as well mention him.

**EV: I'm sure you miss him while you're on tour.**

SB: [He laughs] Uh, we haven't actually met in person. I was a mess before I dropped out and started doing this full time. I was _not_ good enough for him. But we talk more now that I'm on tour than we did when I was in school.

**EV: Wow, I didn't expect that. You talk about him like you're in a long term relationship already.**

SB: I feel like we already are too. I was just talking to him before you arrived. We trade book recommendations and validate each other. He tells me to have a good show all the time. It's honestly the most content with myself I've ever been.

**EV: So he knows who you are, then?**

SB: He figured it out, recognized some lyrics I'd written to him years ago. [His grin is bright and teasing as he changes the subject] I could go on about him for ages, so you might want to get back to your questions.

**EV: If I must, so, what's fame been like for you? It came pretty suddenly.**

SB: This is not going to make me sound any less like a posh twit, but the measured public persona part is familiar. My family is aristocratic and before I left, and was subsequently disowned, I was expected to keep a polite front for people. The difference is that I'm allowed to decide what my public persona is now and I like that. Tour is kind of insulating, so I haven't had to deal with paparazzi or anything, just sounding coherent in interviews and not looking awkward on TV. Which my soulmate assures me I don't, though I'm sure I do. I'm not looking forward to dealing with it back in London. Paps there can be intense.

**EV: But you're looking forward to being home?**

SB: I really am. My best mate and his soulmate are getting married, so I'm excited to be back for that. I mean, I have to be, I'm his best man. But it'll be good to see them outside of random pictures they send me on Instagram, eating my favourite takeaway without me and being smug about it. [He mocks a pout to hide his grin] I love them though, and I love London. So it'll be nice to be home for a while. Sleep, write new music, all the good things. Might get a dog.

**EV: In a London flat?**

SB: [He laughs] Might get a bigger flat. Or a house. I've barely lived in the flat I do have. You're from London too, yeah? I can tell by your accent.

**EV: Not as posh as you, I'm afraid. But yeah, South London.**

SB: Ah, I grew up in Kensington. Do you miss it, living on this side of the pond? I miss it and I've only been gone a few months.

**EV: I do, but I think I'm there or traveling more than I'm here.**

SB: I can understand that, I suppose. I didn't travel much as a kid, but I'm getting almost too much of it now. Maybe that'll be the single on my next album, a song about coming home. Maybe one about London too.

**EV: Whatever you do next, I know it'll be wonderful and I'm sure the world will be excited to hear it.**

  
Remus spread the magazine flat across his bed. It was a good interview, really good. And the accompanying pictures were distracting. The smaller image in the body of the interview was an official shot of Sirius playing at one of his shows. The large one facing the title page was him splayed out in an armchair, wearing that damn leather jacket, hair half up, smiling at the camera like the kind of sin you just had to taste, like a pomegranate leading to the underworld. He wondered idly if Sirius would write a song incorporating imagery from the Persephone myths if he dropped enough hints.

Remus drew out a pen, knowing Sirius was on the continent and at most an hour ahead of him now, instead of multiple hours behind.

_Read your interview, it was great!_

**_You liked it?_ **

_Yes, I didn't expect you to talk about me, but I don't mind_

**_Yeah, Em was cool about it. I liked her, would def interview with her again_ **

_Good, it came out well, you seemed comfortable_

**_Not awkward?_ **

_You're not awkward in interviews! You're charming. All the boys who don't know their soulmates yet are gonna be disappointed it's not you_

**_Omg Moony, no making me blush...do u really think ppl have crushes on me?_ **

_God your ego, yes I do. Don't you see them waving signs for you?_

**_No? During shows I blank except for ur face + the setlist_ **

_Well they do, the number of boys with signs saying they want to have your babies is ridiculous_

**_Uh, no thanks. I wanna have_ ** **_ur_ ** **_babies, angel_ **

_Can't we just steal J+L's?_

**_Obv, Lil can carry them for us_ **

_You're ridiculous, but yes, that's better_

**_Do you want a family, like kids and stuff?_ **

_Maybe, not anytime soon. I like kids though_

**_That's good. We'll def be godfathers to J+L's army of spawn_ **

_LOL the image of that. Tiny gingers with crazy hair swarming us_

**_Frightening but delightful. How do u feel about dogs?_ **

_Best pets ever, we had one when I was young, but I wasn't allowed around animals for a while when I was ill. We should get a big, fluffy beast_

**_Ur literally perfect, exactly what I want. We should get a wolfhound, for the name-pun lolz_ **

_Dork, but yes_

**_Gotta run, angel, talk later <3_ **

_Later, love <3 _

It was barely two weeks later when Remus's news alert on Sirius's name came in handy. Then not even a minute later James sent the same link to him with the simple message: ‘Fuck.’ Remus wholeheartedly agreed.

"Black Family Solicitors Filing Defamation Suit Against Eldest Son, Singer Sirius Black," the headline read. Remus scanned it for as much detail and context as he could glean.

'"Our solicitors will be filing a defamation suit against our wayward heir in light of his libelous statements about our parenting in two separate interviews with members of the media. His comments have severely damaged our standing within the peerage and we will pursue compensatory damages to the fullest extent of the law," Lady Walburga Black, current matriarch of the aristocratic dynasty, said in a prepared statement. As of publication, a civil suit has not been filed, but family solicitors are beginning the process. The comments being cited in the complaint, according to Lady Black and her solicitor are from a published interview in Rolling Stone magazine earlier this month and a televised interview on Good Morning America in June. The comments in Rolling Stone are undoubtedly negative, but in this journalist's opinion, not significant enough for a defamation claim. The GMA comment is brief, and still underwhelming for such a case.

'"I didn't have a good relationship with my parents even before I left home, because of my sexuality, and I used music to work through that," said Sirius Black on the American morning show at the beginning of the summer. Logic would suggest leaving home and having your parents file a lawsuit against you is proof of having a poor relationship, a possible defense according to legal experts.

'Although neither statement was made, broadcast, or originally published in the United Kingdom, both parties are legally resident in London and both interviews had wide circulation here. We will update this story as it develops.'

Remus sighed and closed the tab without reading the comments. He hoped most of them were positive, but he didn't want to repress the urge to argue with stupid people at the moment. He checked the time. Sirius was probably at an event right now, if Remus's memory served, so he might not know until later. Sighing again, he texted James back.

 **Remus  
** I hate her so fucking much  
Please tell me we can prove he was telling the truth

 **James  
** Shouldn't be too hard  
They pop off about their bigoted views in front of cameras like 25/8

 **Remus  
** Ofc they do

 **James  
** And Mum and Dad will be witnesses to how shit they treated Padfoot  
Idk if his other disowned fam will, but probs Andromeda  
She knew about the arranged marriage BS

 **Remus  
** Can we prove other stuff?

 **James  
** I mean, he's literally written out of the will  
So that, yes  
And obv their relationship is fucked, they proved that with all this shit

 **Remus  
** True  
They're not very smart, are they?

 **James  
** Inbred more like  
Nutters, the lot of them

 **Remus  
** Good lord

 **James  
** Not kidding, Walburga didn't have to change her name when she married Orion

 **Remus  
** Wtf

 **James  
** Cousins

 **Remus  
** Gross

 **James  
** Agreed  
Will you check in on him tonight?  
He def won't tell me how he is unless he's been drinking  
He hates talking about this with me bc I get too angry  
You'll just wipe his tears  
Metaphorically

 **Remus  
** That's bc I plot my revenge silently  
But obv I'll check on him  
Was already planning to around his sched

 **James  
** I'm so fucking glad he has you

 **Remus  
** I'm glad he lets me be there now

 **James  
** Let us know how he is  
Lil sends her love

 **Remus  
** Give her mine too, ttyl

  
Remus curled up on his bed in the dying evening light, upset and impatient. He had a pen beside him, waiting for Sirius to write to him. The story was important, but he selfishly didn't want to be the one to tell Sirius about it. Wanted him to live in blissful ignorance a little longer. It was late, even later where Sirius was, when shaky writing scrawled across Remus's forearm.

**_Moon?_ **

_I'm here, love. You ok?_

**_No...you saw the article?_ **

_Yeah, I'm sorry_

**_I hate her_ **

_So do I_

**_What am I gonna do? I don't know what I'm supposed to do. How tf do u answer ur own parents suing u? My press team wants to put out a statement but idek what I feel_ **

The writing on Remus's arm was smudgier and shakier than it had been in years, maybe ever. He grabbed his phone and started a video chat with Sirius on Instagram.

_Pick up_

**_No_ **

_Sirius, please, you're worrying me_

**_Don't want u to see me like this_ **

_I don't fucking care what you look like. Use the rear camera, set the phone on the floor and I'll look at the fucking ceiling, something, just please answer_

After several more rings, the call connected. A white expanse of ceiling filled the screen.

"Sirius?"

"M'here, Moony," Sirius replied in a tearful, wobbly voice.

"Oh love, I'm so sorry." Sirius sniffed pitifully. "You know we're going to fight it, right? James and I were building your case earlier. We'll be right beside you the whole way."

"Thanks," Sirius whispered. "I almost can't believe they did it. I knew they hated me, but this much? My own mother?"

"Oh babe, I wish I could hold you right now."

"Me too," Sirius cried.

"Baby please don't let her get to you. She's not worth your tears. No matter what happens, the people who matter know you're telling the truth."

"When I was little I wanted her to love me. I thought I'd stopped caring, but I guess not."

"She's your mother, it makes sense that you want her love and approval, but she is not even one tenth the person you are. And if you want motherly love and approval, I know mine will be happy to give it to you."

"I promise I'll be a good son-in-law, will you tell her that?"

"She knows that already, but all she expects is for you to love me and treat me well."

"I haven't always treated you right," Sirius sniffled.

"That is not what I meant," Remus bit out. "Do not go down that path, not now and not again."

"Yes, Moony," Sirius relented. "Can I tell you something, even though it's the worst timing ever?"

"You can tell me anything."

"I love you," Sirius whispered.

"I love you too, Padfoot. My Padfoot," Remus breathed.

Sirius drew in a shuddering breath. "I think I'm supposed to be indignant or righteously angry about this, but I'm just hurt, and sad that you're not here so I can curl up in your lap and block out the world."

"I'm sorry about that too," Remus said. "But whatever you feel is valid, you know. There's no instruction manual for this situation. We're all flying blind."

A little breath huffed, then a wet sound. "Thank you, angel." The phone moved and then Remus was looking at Sirius's red, splotchy face and puffy eyes. "Sorry I'm a mess."

"I'm not much better," Remus said, gesturing at his own red cheeks and wet collar from where he'd wiped his angry, upset tears. "I love you," he said, just to see how Sirius's face changed when he did. It lit up and fresh tears crowded his lashes.

"Love you too," he choked out. "So much. I don't know how I ever lived without you. I don't know why this is the first time we've done this."

"It won't be the last," Remus promised. "You should also just text and call me not on an app. I'll send you my number, yeah?"

"Kay, can we just lay down and stay on the line? I was just sitting on my hotel room floor crying before I wrote to you, and I don't want to be alone anymore."

"You are never alone, I'm always with you," Remus said. "But we can stay like this. I don't have work until two tomorrow, so I can stay up until you fall asleep if you need me to."

"You're an actual angel," Sirius sniffled.

"I'm not, I just love you," Remus said.

"You just like seeing my face when you say that, don't you?" Sirius teased, voice still teary but smiling. Remus nodded, smirking at him as though it was an obvious conclusion. "I love you too."

"Let's talk about something else. Where do you want to live in London?"

"Near James and Lil, I think. Or not too far. My current place is pretty small, we'd need something bigger, especially if we get a dog."

"Which we definitely should."

"And I need space for my music stuff. Three bedrooms, you think? Our room, guest room, music room. We should look at some listings when I get back."

Remus huffed a laugh. "Part of me can't believe you're planning to buy a flat for us. I won't even be done with uni until June."

"So? I don't want to move again so soon and I want our dog to keep me company while you're off being smart."

"It can keep me company next time you're on tour," Remus said.

"Perfect." He sighed into his bed, clearly exhausted by the emotional upheaval of the day, not to mention the late hour. "Love you, angel."

"Love you too, babe. Sleep now, write me in the morning." Sirius snuffled a sleepy noise and was out a moment later. Remus ended the call and switched chats to text James.

 **Remus  
** He's taking it really hard  
But he's a little better now  
And sleeping

 **James  
** I was worried about that  
He craves love and acceptance

 **Remus  
** Don't worry, he knows he's loved

 **James  
** Wow, Moony, moving fast

 **Remus  
** Eh, not really

 **James  
** You sure he's asleep?

 **Remus  
** I vid called him, watched him fall asleep  
He's ok  
Tho I worry this is gonna happen again when the case progresses

 **James  
** If*  
It's a weak defamation claim  
But burden of proof bullshit

 **Remus  
** I know  
He'll be ok, he has us  
I gotta sleep, ttyl

  
The next morning, Remus woke to an arm clear of messages but for one.

**_Thank you for last night. I love you <3_ **

He grabbed his pen and wrote back.

_Anytime, I love you too <3 _

Remus showered and plopped down on his bed with his phone to flick through social media and get a lay of the land, so to speak, before he had to go to work.

"Sirius Black Releases Statement on Defamation Suit," read the first headline in Remus's alerts.

'"I am saddened that my parents felt the need to respond to my comments with a lawsuit for defamation. However, I am resolute that none of my published comments constitute libel and will fight this suit in court with my friends at my side. Until then, I will keep my commitments to my fans and continue my tour and scheduled events," the statement released through Black's publicist reads. It does not seem he will be cowed by threatened litigation from his parents. This story will be updated as it progresses.'

It was a very neutral statement, no doubt written while Sirius was in his room crying to Remus and only approved when he woke that morning. Remus pulled up his Twitter to check what Sirius had said.

  
@siriusly 9:43am  
I'm upset about the suit ofc, but the truth isn't libelous. So I'll still be playing shows & looking for a new flat & a dog

  
That felt more like him and made Remus feel a little better about Sirius's mental state after a good night's sleep. He checked Instagram, knowing it was a little obsessive to need to check all the news before he was satisfied.

Sirius's most recent post was a video from earlier that morning. Remus tapped it and turned the sound on.

He sat in what was clearly a hotel room armchair, bright morning light filtering in from the window beside him. Half a cup of coffee sat beside him on the table. His hair was fluffy and damp from a shower, wetting the collar of his grey t-shirt, and he had taken a trimmer to the stubble on his cheeks because it was more even and less scruffy than it had been the night before. One hand came up to push his hair back.

“Hey mates,” he said to the camera, quirking a less enthusiastic smile than usual. “So, most of you have probably heard that my parents are suing me for ‘defaming’ their character,” he said, with judicious use of air quotes. “I found out last night and of course I’m really hurt by it, but I wish I was more surprised. Fortunately, I’ve got a great press team who got a statement ready for me to approve when I finished having a crisis about it. And I’ve got an amazing found family in my friends and my soulmate, who have all been checking in on me and standing by me because they know the truth. Right now, we just know they’re going to file the suit, but we don’t have court dates or anything, so I’m not cancelling any appearances unless I absolutely have to later down the line. I think I’ll probably be back in London before it becomes an issue, but if that’s not the case, we will let you all know right away. This is probably the last I’ll be able to talk about the case for a while, so if you want to keep up with what’s going on, pick a reputable source of news that’s covering it and watch for their updates. They found out before _I_ did, so they’ll probably be a better source anyway.” His lips pulled up on one side. “Everyone’s support and love right now has really helped. My press team and my best mate have been wading through the comments and sending me the uplifting ones, so I really appreciate that. Thanks for listening and for your support, as always. See you later.”

He stopped the camera recording and the video looped back to the beginning. Remus texted him a few hearts and got ready for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: our dumb boys will actually meet each other. In person.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you'd like! I've been trying to respond since we're stuck at home, and I've got some great comments, including an awesome song rec! I really appreciate all of your comments, kudos, and your readership!
> 
> Quotes/Referenced Songs  
> 1\. "My lover's got humour..." Take Me to Church by Hozier
> 
> 2\. Sirius second song Hallelujah is the one by Panic! at the Disco
> 
> 3\. The song Too Good that he doesn't play is by Troye Sivan


	3. We're Obviously Couple Goals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Remus and Sirius are finally in the same room and can make good on how much they already love each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!! I have a nice, long chapter for you this week! This was narratively the best place to cut it without giving you a chapter about half the length of last week's  
> Couple of quick notes: this chapter does earn its rating near the end. Also, all information about Aberystwyth the town and the university have come from google maps, wikipedia, and the AU website. I've only been to Wales once and it was just Cardiff. Let's call the rest artistic license.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Remus moved back to Aberystwyth to start his last year of university in late September, just a week after the Blacks finished filing their defamation suit against Sirius. It still had layers of legal procedure to go through, and Sirius’s solicitor could handle all of that for him while he was finishing his tour. Remus and James made a coordinated effort to keep Sirius’s spirits up and Lily helped distract him by asking for his opinion on wedding decisions randomly throughout the day. Most days, he actually seemed to be handling it fine. Interviewers didn’t bring it up and he’d come to terms with his parents’ betrayal of him all over again.

When Remus moved into his new student accommodation, he snapped a picture of the view of the bay through his bedroom window and sent it to Sirius.

 **Sirius  
** Pretty!!  
Would be prettier with u in the pic

 **Remus  
** Charmer <3

 **Sirius  
** Only for u

 **Remus  
** Much as I’d like to stand here and flirt  
I need to unpack

 **Sirius  
** Fair enough  
I gotta get to events anyway  
Love you

 **Remus  
** Have a good day  
Love you too

  
The welcome week for the first semester was pretty much as standard for Remus. Though now he knew Sirius was giving the final few performances of his tour. They traded messages from the same time zone for the first time in probably a year, even as Remus went out to welcome back events. He and Alice spent most of the week traipsing around to the campus cafes, giggling as they ordered random things to get enough stamps on their cards to get a free travel cup. They registered and paid their fees, all the while Remus sent Sirius random pictures of their day.

On Saturday, Alice and Frank dragged him to a big welcome party off campus, but fairly near his student accommodation. He drank a fair bit with Frank and let himself settle into the vibe of the party. It wasn’t his usual scene, but it was nice once in a while.

“Well if it isn’t Sirius Black’s biggest fan,” a voice said from behind him. Remus turned to see Benjy, the bloke from the school paper he’d argued with at the end of the previous term.

“Proudly,” Remus replied. “Having a nice night?” He sipped his drink and glanced away, trying to look bored. Where were Frank and Alice to save him from this conversation?

“Heard about the defamation thing?” Benjy asked, smugly sipping his pretentious faux-craft beer.

“Yep, load of horseshit in my opinion.”

“Why’s that?”

Remus furrowed his brow and looked at him. “Because if his parents are suing him they obviously have a terrible relationship, therefore what he said was true. And thus not libel.” He raised a brow as if he thought Benjy was rather slow. Really, he just wanted to get a rise out of him because that was all Benjy was trying to do.

“Eh, they’re posh bastards. What could he know about being mistreated?”

“Are you saying money cures neglect or emotional abuse? Because that’s very wrong.”

Benjy huffed in irritation. “Look mate, you’re one of those blokes that are falling all over him because he sings love songs with masc pronouns. I get it. I don’t really care about that. We’ve got unresolved tension, you and I. Let’s go upstairs, shag it out and be friends, or something.”

“I’m not your mate,” Remus bit back. “I told you in June and I’m telling you again. I don’t want to shag you. I just think you’re wrong.”

“Right, because this is a totally normal kind of discussion to have with some bloke you barely know,” Benjy said, smirking.

Remus rolled his eyes so hard it almost hurt. “Look _mate_ , I’m taken. Very, very taken. Just because my soulmate doesn’t go to uni here doesn’t mean I’m not with him. I’m not going to shag you. Ever. Now fuck off.” He finally caught sight of Alice over near the kitchen and stalked off towards her without looking back.

She was beaming when he reached her. “What the hell did you say to that twerp?” she asked, having adopted Sirius’s term for Benjy. “He looks like you just dumped a smoothie down his trousers.”

“Told him I was never going to shag him because I’m super taken.”

“He asked again? Not a smart boy,” she tutted. “Come on, Frank’s out back holding down some seats for us. My feet hurt and I want to chill with my boys.” He downed his drink and let her lead him along. He dropped onto a little bench with Alice between him and Frank, who clapped him on the shoulder.

Leaning heavily on Alice, Remus pulled out his phone and snapped a selfie of the three of them. He sent it to Sirius with the caption: ‘Last first week party.’ Then he set his phone in Alice’s lap and laid his head on her shoulder.

“Pretty toasted, Rem?” she asked sweetly. He nodded, eyes slipping closed. A few minutes later, with the music pulsing around them and people in the garden dancing and laughing, Remus’s phone rang in Alice’s lap. Padfoot flashed on the screen. She answered for him. “Hello there,” she said.

“Oh, hi,” Sirius said. “Is this Alice?”

“Yeah, Remus is very tipsy. He’s falling asleep on my shoulder.”

Sirius laughed. “Aww, does he look cute?”

“Like a drunk little mouse,” she said, grinning as her teasing made Remus smile. “How are you, Sirius?”

“I’m great! Just finished my last show of the tour, in London, but still! Last show!”

“Congratulations!”

“Wha’s happening?” Remus mumbled.

“Sirius just finished his last show,” Alice said. Remus sat slightly up, reaching for the phone. “Remus is gonna take you from me now, but it was really nice to meet you. Come visit so we can meet in person. We’ll go on a double date!”

Sirius laughed again. “I will!”

“Hi baby,” Remus said, grinning into the phone as he pressed it into his ear. “Last show?”

“Yeah! It was so good, angel. So loud and everyone was great! They had signs and rainbow flags and ugh, it was awesome! I did a meet and greet before the show and one bloke who came was at the first gig I ever played, remember in that pub?”

“I remember. That’s amazing, love! Did James and Lily come?”

“No, just last night,” Sirius said. “I’m being driven home in like ten minutes.” An exuberant yell came through the phone, making Remus pull back.

“Hi Moony!!” a pair of nearly identical voices called.

“Uh, hi?”

“Moony says hi, you wankers,” Sirius laughed. “Let me go!” They laughed and moved away. “Sorry, that was Gid and Fab, my drummer and bassist. They’re twins and great, but you know, meddling.” Remus chuckled. “I’m done, Moons. So done. I can come see you. You can come see me. We’re in the same fucking timezone.”

“I know, it’s fantastic.”

“Uh oh, Moony sounds sleepy,” Sirius teased.

“Moony’s had lots of beer,” Remus said.

“I should let you go then,” Sirius said.

“Nah, you’re better than this party.”

“Hey!” Alice protested teasingly, poking him in the side.

“Sorry Al, he’s better than you. You’ve got Frank.” She laughed. It was getting late though and they were going to head home soon. “I think I’m going home to have a litre of water and some sleep.”

“Good, text me before you go to sleep?”

“Course, love you,” Remus said.

“Love you too,” Sirius replied, bright and cheery.

Remus stuffed his phone back into his pocket, looking up at Alice, who only got brighter the more she drank, and Frank, who had the constitution of an ox and was their designated walker tonight.

“What?”

“You’ve already said you love each other?” she asked. “You two are couple goals, honestly.”

“We’ve literally never met in person.”

“And yet you’re still in love, it’s very romantic,” she insisted.

“I know,” he mumbled, blush crawling up his neck.

Frank walked them home, stopping at Remus’s seaside student residence until he got inside, then continuing on until he and Alice got home. Remus kicked off his shoes and jeans once he got into his bedroom, chugging a glass of water as he went. He tossed his shirt at the hamper and flopped into bed. Then he grabbed a pen and wrote to Sirius.

_Nite, luv u <3 _

**_Lol, night angel <3_ **

  
Over the next week, Remus attended the first meetings of his classes and tutorials, and met with his undergraduate dissertation supervisor for the first time this term. Thankfully, this term he had Fridays off from classes, giving him three day weekends every week, which would be nice when he wanted to visit Sirius in London.

On his first Thursday of classes, bad news came through his alerts. The defamation suit against Sirius had been allowed through the first part of the process and would go to court. They’d all hoped it would be killed before trial because it was so weak, and they’d been trying to keep Sirius optimistic because he was always a pessimist about his family’s connections being used against him. Remus sighed as he left his last class of the day, thumb scrolling through the article. It was more of the same bullshit.

He was barely outside when his phone rang.

“Hi love,” Remus answered.

“You saw?”

“Yeah, how are you doing?”

Sirius sighed. “I’m just...just tired and disappointed and I just don’t want to be here right now. I don’t want to go out and have paps following me asking for a statement. I just want to sleep and pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Sirius sniffled. “Can I come see you this weekend? You don’t have class tomorrow, right?”

“You want to come all the way out here? Right now?”

“Yeah, I have my car. It’s far, but I can do it.”

“Are you in any shape to be driving?” Remus asked.

“I haven’t had anything to drink, Moony.”

“No,” Remus said, huffing a laugh. “I mean emotionally.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay to drive. Just want to be with you, can I come?”

“Yes, of course, if you want to,” Remus said. “I’ll text you my address, but if you change your mind, don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be out there in a month for your birthday, remember.”

“Okay, I’m gonna pack a bag.”

“Sirius, you know that if you turn around halfway I won’t be upset, right? I want to see you, I’d love it, but don’t push yourself too far.”

“I know Moons, I just really want to fall asleep with you.”

Remus melted. “I’ll see you in a few hours then. You want me to grab you anything at the market?”

“As long as you have tea and a bed, I’m happy.”

“I do indeed have both. And ice cream. And chocolate.”

“You’re the best. I’ll see you in a few hours, angel. Love you.”

“Love you too.” They hung up and Remus turned to head toward the market.

Remus shifted his backpack higher on his shoulders. He carried a small basket in one arm, wandering through the local Tesco for some extra snacks for the weekend, a six pack of a nice local beer that he hoped Sirius would like, and a bit of extra chocolate. He looped back through the store to make sure he hadn’t missed anything important and ended up in the pharmacy section staring at a small selection of lube and condoms. It would be better to have them, he reasoned, even though he was certain they wouldn’t do anything but sleep that night. He worried his lip, then grabbed a box of condoms he was sure would fit him and a small tube of plain, water based lube. Before he could change his mind, he headed for the till, stuffing his groceries into the small reusable bag he kept in his backpack.

Once he left the store, Remus made the walk up the road to his flat, trying to let the sea breeze settle him. Inside, he marked his groceries and put them away, taking his more personal items into his room and tucking them into his bedside table. Realizing it was getting to be late afternoon, Remus went back to the kitchen to make dinner for himself. He puttered around the kitchen, trying to keep his mind off things.

Remus tried to start on his reading while he ate at the kitchen table. One of his roommates, Caradoc, wandered in and made himself a cup of tea. He and Remus had known each other for a while, so he didn’t interrupt, just waved and took his tea back to his room. Just after he finished dinner and washed his plate, Remus’s phone went off.

 **  
Sirius  
** Stopped in Birmingham for food  
Getting on the m54  
About halfway

 **Remus  
** I can’t believe you’re actually coming  
I’m finally gonna see you

 **Sirius  
** Believe it  
See you in a couple hours

 **Remus  
** Text me when you get here  
I’ll bring you upstairs

  
Trying to stave off his excited nerves, Remus stayed cooped up in his room reading. He wasn’t taking in as much as he should have been, but at least he wasn’t sitting downstairs annoying everyone. He sighed and watched the last dregs of sunlight bleeding away from the horizon. Then he noticed he hadn’t looked at his book in at least five minutes and tried to go back to it.

Around half past eight, Remus’s phone went off with a message from Sirius.

 **  
Sirius  
** Parked down the block

  
Remus jumped up, barely remembering to grab his key card, and bounded down the stairs. He pulled the front door of the building open and Sirius was there on the stoop, climbing the stairs toward him with a duffel over one shoulder. He looked up, grey eyes widening as he saw Remus standing there. Remus reached for him and pulled him up into a tight hug.

“Moony,” Sirius breathed into his collar.

“Hi love,” Remus whispered back, feeling Sirius snake both arms tightly around his waist and nuzzle into the base of his neck. He buried his face in Sirius’s hair, breathing in the warm, woody scent of him. “I can’t believe you’re in my arms.” Sirius squeezed him and drew a shuddering breath. “I’ve waited four years to hold you like this.” That’s when he felt the tears wetting the collar of his t-shirt. He hushed Sirius gently and pulled him inside, shutting the door with one hand. He tried to pull back, but Sirius clung on.

“No, want you,” Sirius murmured.

“We have to climb the stairs.”

Sirius sniffed and loosened his grip. “Kay, I’m okay.” Remus cupped Sirius’s face in one hand, thumb wiping a stray tear. Then he took Sirius’s hand in his and led him up to his room. They didn’t run into anyone along the way, which Remus was very glad for.

“Here we are,” Remus said, tugging Sirius into his room and shutting the door behind him. “It’s not much, but it’s not bad.”

“I like it,” Sirius said, still sounding wobbly.

“Hey, drop that somewhere, c’mere,” Remus said, nudging the duffel off Sirius’s shoulder. Sirius shuffled into Remus’s embrace. “What can I do?”

“Just wanna cuddle,” Sirius murmured. Remus nodded, sitting down on his bed and pulling Sirius with him. He tugged off Sirius’s trainers, then leaned back until they were stretched out on the small single bed. Sirius curled into Remus’s chest and sighed in relief. Remus held him close and pressed his lips gently to the top of his head, feeling Sirius exhale without shuddering. Slowly, his breathing calmed and he pressed his forehead into Remus’s neck.

“Feeling any better?”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed. “Still on the edge of losing it, but being here with you is even better than I thought it would be.”

“It really is. I love you so fucking much,” Remus said. Sirius squeezed him tight. “You tired?”

“Yeah, but it’s still early.”

“Well, you never got that week of sleep you wanted.”

Sirius huffed a laugh. “Almost a week. Even if we don’t sleep, can we just go to bed? Do you mind?”

“That’s fine, babe.” Remus nudged him until they were both sitting, still half pressed together. Sirius looked up at him, smiling a little when their eyes met. “Can I kiss you?”

Light sparked in Sirius’s eyes. “Please,” he breathed. Remus curled his hand around the nape of Sirius’s neck and met him halfway. The kiss was soft and chaste, lips pressing tenderly against one another. Remus gently nipped at Sirius’s lower lip, making him whimper. He soothed it with his tongue, then sucked lightly on it. Sirius’s fingers curled in Remus’s shirt, hanging on and leaning in. Remus pressed their lips firmly together again and pulled back.

“Pyjamas? Let’s get comfy, love.” Sirius looked a little dazed, then snapped back to reality.

He slid back, following Remus’s lead, and dug around in his bag. Remus dropped a pair of soft pyjama bottoms on his desk chair, but turned when he noticed Sirius was still searching his bag. He sighed and dropped his head, turning to face Remus.

“Forgot them?” Remus asked, a little smirk on his lips. Sirius nodded. “You can borrow some of mine. What do you want? Flannel bottoms? T-shirt?”

“I usually just wear a big t-shirt and boxers,” Sirius said. “Can I just borrow a shirt?” Remus pulled a soft, old shirt out of his dresser and handed it to him. “Um, where’s the bathroom? I wanna brush my teeth.” He pulled a small toiletry bag out of his duffel.

Once he had his things, Remus set a hand on Sirius’s hip and directed him out into the hall toward the shared bathroom. They shared the sink to brush their teeth, then Remus let him have the bathroom to finish his routine. A few minutes later, he came out carrying his clothes and bag. Remus’s t-shirt was much too big on him, the collar wide enough to expose a sharp collar bone. It fell almost to mid-thigh, only revealing the bottom edge of his grey boxer-briefs. He looked so sweet and endearing, Remus wanted to kiss him again. Instead, he pressed a gentle hand to Sirius’s back and led him back toward his room. Halfway back, a door across the hall opened and Caradoc poked his head out.

“Oh, Remus, it’s you.” Remus nodded. “Oh! Uh, I didn’t expect you, of all of us, to have a guest.”

Remus smiled at him, nudging Sirius toward his room. “Visiting from London for the weekend. We won’t keep you up, promise.”

“No worries, mate,” Caradoc said. “Good night.” He closed the door. Remus followed Sirius back into his room and shut the door behind them.

“I’m just going to change, you can get in bed if you want,” Remus said. Sirius crawled under the duvet, turning to watch Remus. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it in the hamper, then tugged off his jeans and draped them over the chair. He shook out his pyjama bottoms and stepped into them. As he straightened, he caught Sirius watching him, two spots of colour sitting high on his porcelain cheeks. “What?” Remus asked.

Sirius half hid his face in the pillow. “You’re so bloody attractive.” Remus hummed a laugh and crawled up the bed, sliding under the duvet next to him. “Don’t mock me. I can’t help it that you’re hot.”

Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius’s forehead. “So are you, you dork.” He wrapped his arms around Sirius and they curled together comfortably in the too small bed. “I should’ve put on a shirt.” Sirius hummed in question. “The hottest person I know is touching my chest.” After a second, Sirius looked up at him, meaning trickling in. He smirked and pecked Remus on the lips.

“I love you,” Sirius said. “Thank you for letting me crash your weekend.”

“Nothing to crash, you’re always welcome here, my love.” Sirius tucked his face into Remus’s neck. “You’re alright here. It’s just us.”

“M’gonna sleep.”

“Go ahead, I think I’ll join you.” Remus kissed the top of his head again and snuggled in. “Love you.” Sirius’s breathing was already evening out against his neck.

  
The next morning, Remus woke to gentle fingers tracing the scars on his chest. They were so soft, but he could feel the spots of callus on Sirius’s fingertips from his guitar strings. He sighed quietly in the soft, morning light. Sirius’s lips pressed lightly against his cheek, just for a moment. The corner of Remus’s lips ticked up.

“Morning, angel,” Sirius said.

“Good morning, love,” Remus whispered. “That feels really nice.”

Sirius hummed. “I’m just looking.” Remus slid his hands around Sirius’s hips, fingers slipping up under the loose shirt. They lay in the hazy morning for a few minutes, gently running fingers across each other’s skin. “Can we have breakfast?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, you want to make something or go out?”

“Is there a place to go?”

“There’s a little cafe down the road, right on the seafront. Do you want to go there?” Remus asked.

“Sure. Guess we have to get up.” He looked up at Remus through his lashes. “I’m warm and comfy,” he pouted. Remus’s heart clenched in his chest at the unfairly endearing boy in his arms.

“You can stay in bed while I shower, then.” Sirius nodded and gracefully accepted a kiss on his forehead as Remus disentangled himself and slid out of bed. He grabbed a towel, his shower things, and a clean pair of underwear. “Don’t run off while I’m gone,” Remus teased.

Sirius chuckled. “Not a chance. You’re stuck with me.” Remus grinned and shut the door behind him. Remus returned a little while later, running his towel over his damp curls.

He smiled to see Sirius dozing on his bed, looking a little like a fallen angel. Or at least one that had sauntered vaguely downward.

Remus sat in the space made by Sirius’s knees bent toward his chest. He ran his fingers gently through Sirius’s hair. Grey eyes blinked open. Then a little smile quirked up.

“Your turn,” Remus said. Sirius sat up, kissed his cheek and got his shower things together before heading down the hall. A short time later, Remus heard the bathroom door open again at the end of the hall, then another door open across from his own. He stood and pulled his bedroom door open. Sirius wouldn’t get lost in the hallway, but he worried who might be out there and if they would give him a hard time for having an overnight guest.

It turned out to just be Caradoc again. “Hey mate,” Caradoc said, towel thrown over one shoulder and reaching out his hand to Sirius. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself last night. I’m Caradoc Dearborn.”

“Sirius, nice to meet you,” Sirius said.

Caradoc smiled. “Is it presumptive of me to ask if you’re Remus’s soulmate?”

Sirius grinned. “Not at all, I am. I’d argue that’s why a posh boy from London is visiting a Welsh uni student, but we’ve actually had mutual friends for years.” Caradoc chuckled. “Sorry we’re monopolizing your shower.”

“Nah, no worries, mate. I don’t have class until after lunch, and it’s really good to see Remus smiling.”

Remus rubbed the side of his neck self-consciously. Sirius looked up at him through his lashes, beaming.

“Yes, you’re cute,” Remus said, settling his hand on Sirius’s back.

“How long have you two been together?” Caradoc asked.

“Uh, twelve hours?” Sirius said uncertainly.

Remus laughed. “You know I’ve been telling people I’m taken for at least two weeks, and you’ve been acting like we’re together for like two months.”

Sirius pinked, leaning toward Remus. “I’ve been out of the country for work,” he said to Caradoc. “So we actually met in person last night.”

For a moment, Caradoc just blinked at them, then he laughed. “I’d never have guessed. You seem like you’ve been together for years.”

“Thanks mate,” Remus said.

“Well, I’ll let you get on with your day. Nice to meet you,” Caradoc said, giving a little wave and heading off to take his own shower.

Remus corralled Sirius back into his room, wrapping around him from behind.

“You have nice friends here,” Sirius said. Remus shrugged, watching Sirius pull jeans and a shirt out of his bag. “Will I get to meet Alice and Frank?”

“If you want to,” Remus said. He’d dressed in black jeans and a blue jumper while Sirius was in the shower and was putting on his shoes while Sirius got dressed. “I can text Al and see if they want to get dinner tonight.”

Sirius wiggled into his skinny jeans. “That’d be great!” Remus watched with growing interest as Sirius’s jeans inched upwards, encasing his bum in very tight denim. “What?” he asked, noticing the attention.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “You can’t be _that_ oblivious to how good your arse looks in those jeans.”

Looking down, Sirius pinked. “Oh, that.” He huffed a laugh at himself, grabbing his shirt. “I mean, that’s why I packed them, but I kind of forgot I had a plan to tease you.” The long-sleeved t-shirt he pulled on was fitted across his lean chest, and he topped it with a warm looking zip-up hoodie. “Is this fine?” he asked, tying his hair up in a messy bun.

“Yes, you look perfect.”

Sirius smiled and pulled a little case out of his bag, slipping a pair of black framed glasses on before he sat down to put on socks and his trainers.

“You have glasses?”

“Yeah, I usually wear my contacts for like everything, but my eyes were irritated from crying with them in. Plus I never wear my glasses for publicity stuff, so maybe no one will recognize me.” Sirius shrugged. “I think most people just know the song and not my face anyway.”

Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius’s waist as soon as his shoes were on and he was standing. “You’re so fucking cute,” he muttered, holding Sirius close.

Sirius sighed contentedly. “M’not,” he said, muffled by tucking his face into Remus’s collar.

“You definitely are. Let’s go get breakfast,” Remus said, pressing a kiss to Sirius’s temple and stepping back. They grabbed their wallets and Remus took a denim jacket and his phone, but Sirius made a point of leaving his phone on the nightstand. Then Remus took Sirius’s hand and led him out onto the promenade.

It wasn’t as busy as it was in the summer, now that it was October, but there were still students and locals and the occasional tourist wandering up and down the seaside walkway. Sirius seemed to like it, staring off at the horizon now and then before smiling up at Remus. They walked for a little while until they reached the cafe just off the sea side of the walkway. They sat outside at a little table for two, chatting over their breakfast as easily as if they did this every morning. Sirius drank coffee in the mornings, unlike Remus who only drank coffee when he needed to power through an essay and preferred tea on all other occasions. They learned each other’s preferences softly, teasing out little things about each other that they hadn’t known before. When they were nearly done, Remus fished out his phone to text Alice.

 **  
Remus  
** Wanna grab dinner tonight?  
Double date?

 **Alice  
** OMFG  
Is he here?!?!

 **Remus  
** Yeah, got in last night  
We’re having breakfast  
He’ll be here all weekend

 **Alice  
** Obv we wanna do dinner!!  
And drinks!  
Not too late, but yes  
Tonight!  
Tell him hi from us

  
Remus grinned and looked up at Sirius across the table. “Alice says yes to a double date tonight. She’s really excited.” Sirius grinned back. "I think you'll like her and Frank. I've been wanting to introduce her to Lily since we met."

"That's a pretty ringing endorsement," Sirius laughed. "So, what should we do for the rest of the day? Did you have plans I interrupted?"

Remus shrugged. "Not really, might've got drinks with Frank and Alice anyway. First though, we should move your car. Don't want you getting a ticket for being there too long." Sirius nodded and stood when Remus did, taking his hand to head back up the road toward his car. "After that we could always go up to Consti."

"Where now?" Sirius asked.

"Constitution Hill, that big thing up ahead," Remus said. Sirius bumped his shoulder into Remus's arm in retaliation for the teasing tone. Remus just laughed. "It’s an old tourist attraction from the 1800s. There's a little train thing that goes up there, and a restaurant."

"Oh, we could get lunch there," Sirius said.

"Sure, and maybe I'll show you campus tomorrow when it's not as busy."

"Smart thinking."

"I am occasionally known for that," Remus teased. Sirius bumped him again. "You're so short," Remus teased.

"I'm not _that_ short. You're just a giant."

"Keep telling yourself that," Remus said. "Now, where did you park?"

"Just there," Sirius said, pointing two cars ahead of them. It was some sort of small, nice looking, silver car.

"For some reason I expected you to have a really posh car."

"Nah, I live in London. It's gotta be small. Besides, I'm waiting to splurge on a motorbike."

"Of course you are," Remus groused fondly. "Let's move you onto a side street." Remus folded his legs into the passenger footwell as Sirius hopped into the driver's seat. "Make a right at the next intersection, then another right." In a few minutes, Sirius was parked and they were walking up the promenade again toward the train up the hill.

They enjoyed the sights for a while, looking at the historical attractions and heritage signs before lunch. Then Sirius corralled Remus over to the side of the hill where the sea and part of the town were visible.

"Can we take a picture? It's our first proper day together, we should have one," Sirius said.

"Course love," Remus said. He wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist from behind. "How's this? You can take it on my phone." He handed his phone to Sirius, who flicked the camera open easily.

"Perfect," Sirius said, holding the phone up to take a few smiling selfies of them. Then he frowned at the image. "I look awful."

"You absolutely do not."

"I do," he pouted. "Besides, what if I want to post one of these at some point. I don't want everyone to see me in my glasses and shit. I look like a nerd."

Remus snorted. "You _are_ a nerd, babe, you've just got them all fooled." Sirius scoffed and took off his glasses, tucking them in his pocket, and shook his hair out. He took a few more pictures, relying on Remus to be sure they were in focus. Then he put his glasses back on to look at them properly, Remus hooking his chin over his shoulder to do the same.

"Much better," Sirius said. "Look how cute we are."

"You're always cute," Remus murmured into his ear. Shivers tripped down Sirius's spine.

"But look at this one," Sirius said, keeping his composure and not leaning back into the solid warmth of Remus's chest. He held up a photo of himself melting into a grin as Remus kissed his cheek. It was definitely the cutest picture Remus had ever been in.

"I think that's my favourite," Remus said.

"Mine too." He turned his head to kiss Remus. "It's so amazing that I can just kiss you now, whenever." He pouted. "I don't want to go back to London. You won't be there."

"Don't be sad, love. We have all weekend together and then next month we'll have another long weekend. And after that, I'll be with you for a while for the wedding."

"True," Sirius sighed, giving in and leaning back into Remus. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Going home, I guess, see my parents. You'd be welcome to come, unless you wanted to go somewhere."

Sirius shrugged. "I was kind of thinking about it. Maybe I could spend Christmas with you and then you could spend New Year's with me in London and I'll drive you back before term starts."

"I love the sound of that," Remus said. He pressed a kiss to Sirius's jaw. "I'll call Mum and set it up."

After lunch, they headed back down the hill to walk around town for a little while. With his glasses and hair up, no one seemed to recognize Sirius for who he was. At first, Sirius had been tense, waiting for someone to notice, but as the day wore on he relaxed more and more. By the time they were looping back to the pub they'd agreed to meet Frank and Alice at, he was humming and bouncing on his toes as they walked, when he wasn't chattering to Remus.

Looking down at his soulmate happily bouncing beside him, fingers tangled together, Remus felt the happiness bursting out of him. He was so completely endeared by this ridiculous boy he was in love with.

They arrived at the pub just after Frank and Alice, who'd grabbed a table for them near the back. As they reached the table, Frank nudged Alice and she looked up. A smile lit her face and she jumped from her seat.

"You're here!" She reached out for Sirius and he happily accepted a hug. "It's so nice to finally meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you too. Thanks for keeping an eye on Remus for me," Sirius said.

"Always," she said with a smile. "This is my soulmate Frank."

"Nice to meet you, mate," Sirius said, sticking out his hand to shake Frank's. He and Remus sat, facing away from the rest of the room, which made Sirius very grateful.

"So, how is it being back in Blighty?" Frank asked.

"So great, let me tell you," Sirius said. "Not that everywhere I went wasn't great, but it was exhausting. It's good to be home." He grinned at Remus. "And to see Remus."

"Aww," Alice cooed. "I told Remus that you two are couple goals and he argued with me."

Sirius pouted up at Remus. "Moony, don't be mean, we're obviously couple goals."

"We had literally never met when she said that, don't take her side," Remus said. Sirius giggled. "You're such a drama queen. Why do people think you're cool?"

"Because I'm awesome," Sirius said, winking at Remus, who just rolled his eyes, even as he pressed closer. "So," Sirius said, turning back to Alice, "tell me what happened when he found out I'm me. He's never given me details."

She grinned and launched into the story. It sounded so much more dramatic when she told it than when Remus did.

"...and once he finishes explaining, he looks up at me with those big doe eyes, you know the ones," Alice said. Sirius nodded, grinning as she continued the story. "And he asks me if I think Lily really knows you, but he just wants me to agree with him because he already knows the answer."

Sirius chuckled. "So that's when you called Lily," he said, looking at Remus. "How'd you get her to tell you anything? She's super protective."

Remus bit his lip sheepishly. "I might have taken a tone with her that would have gotten me castrated if I was anyone else."

Snorting with laughter, Sirius knocked their shoulders together. "Still, you convinced her you were right."

"I knew when you stopped partying without her saying anything," Remus said.

Sirius's smile turned soft. "You should, you're the reason. Disappointing you is like kicking a puppy, of course I stopped."

Remus pressed a kiss to his temple. "Well, that convinced her I wasn't just being weird."

"Not a bad story," Sirius said with a smile. He turned to Alice again. "Did you hear him argue with the twerp from the school paper?"

"Did we ever," Frank laughed.

"And last week when the idiot tried again," Alice said.

Sirius turned to look at Remus, who was pressed close to him. "Again? You never said."

"It was the night of your last show, you were happy. Besides, I told him I was taken and invited him to fuck off."

A wide grin burst across Sirius's face. "Oh I wish I could've seen his face."

"It was so good," Alice said. "Like he got slapped with a live fish." They laughed at her choice of comparison.

After dinner, they parted ways outside the pub with hugs and handshakes and promises to get together again before Sirius left on Sunday. Then Sirius and Remus were walking back up toward his residence. Halfway up the road, Sirius stopped and pulled Remus over to the railing, where he wrapped himself around Sirius’s back.

"It's so pretty just here, isn't it?" Sirius sighed. Remus hummed an agreement into his hair. "You know, tonight feels like a night I wouldn't have been able to stop myself writing to you."

"But now I can hold you instead," Remus said. He tightened his arms around Sirius's waist. "And tell you how wonderful it's been to just be with you all day. To hold your hand and kiss you and watch you smile. Tell you I love you."

Sirius nuzzled back into Remus's neck. "I love you too. I love seeing all the different ways you smile at me, and how your eyes smile too. It's about a million times better than being stuck on a different continent."

Remus hummed a little laugh. "True. But you know what would be even better? Going back to mine and snogging in my bed."

"Mmm," Sirius hummed, leaning fully back into Remus. "Yeah, let's do that. Lead on." He let Remus take his hand and direct them up the road toward his residence building again. Once inside, they climbed the stairs as quick as they could and locked themselves away in Remus's bedroom.

Remus wrapped himself around Sirius, cupping his hands around his face and drawing him in for a kiss. This time, it wasn't a polite peck or a sweet press of lips. He nipped Sirius's pouty lower lip and swiped his tongue in. Sirius responded in kind, gripping Remus's hips and tipping his head up for a better angle. They pressed together, feeling the energy between them ramping up to a constant buzz. The teasing suction on Sirius's lip tingled down into his chest, making him hum and press closer.

"Fuck," Remus breathed. "Let's, let's sit at least."

Sirius smirked, setting his glasses on the nightstand, toeing off his shoes, and trying to get out of his hoodie. "You're the one who couldn't wait."

Remus helpfully shoved Sirius's hoodie off and pulled him into his arms again as he sat on the side of the bed. "Course I couldn't wait, I've wanted you forever." Sirius melted into his arms even more.

"Moony," Sirius breathed. "More, please." Remus smiled against his mouth. Then his lips trailed across Sirius's jaw and down his neck. Sirius sighed, then gasped when he kissed a particularly sensitive spot. Remus nipped and sucked at that spot, just where his neck met his shoulder. Sirius moaned, fingers curling in Remus's jumper. Arousal zinged down his chest, up to his lips, pooled in his gut. He slid his hands under Remus's jumper, splaying them across his back. It was a bit of an awkward angle though, so he swung his leg over Remus's and set himself down in his lap.

"Perfect," Remus said. He smiled and pecked Sirius on the lips again. "Babe, you need to tell me what you want, how far you want to take this tonight."

"You could do anything to me Moony and I'd like it."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

Sirius curled closer, lips brushing the soft skin beneath Remus’s ear. "Do you want to fuck me, Moony?" Remus shuddered, hips pressing up a little into Sirius, not restrained quite enough. "Because I'd love that, if that's what you want. _Anything_ , Remus. It's _you_ , I'll be happy with anything."

Remus's fingers were almost tight enough to bruise on Sirius's waist. "I really want to be inside you," he groaned. "I've never...I know what to do, but I've never done it before."

"We can fix that," Sirius said. "Do you have—"

"In the drawer. I figured I should stock up in case you wanted to as much as I do."

Sirius giggled into a kiss. "I love you," he said fondly.

"Love you too," Remus murmured into their kiss, hands sliding up under Sirius's shirt. After several long, distracting minutes of feeling each other up while they snogged, Remus tugged up on Sirius's shirt, pulling it off as soon as Sirius lifted his arms. Then he pulled off his own jumper and tossed it across the room somewhere. New skin bared, Remus kissed Sirius's sharp collarbones and worked his way down. Sirius ground his hips down, feeling an answering hardness pressed against him. He groaned.

"Moony, want you naked, please," he pouted. Remus chuckled darkly against his neck. Then Sirius was on his back on the bed, Remus having lifted him easily and tossed him there. "Fuck that's hot." Sirius had never been more turned on by their size difference than he was at that moment.

Remus kicked his trousers and pants off without really getting off the bed. Then he was hovering over Sirius, fingers resting on the button of his jeans and looking up for permission. Sirius nodded hastily, wanting to be undressed about ten minutes ago. A satisfied smile pulled Remus's lips and he unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans before curling his fingers into the waistband of both them and Sirius's boxers. He tugged both down at once, somehow not as awkward and fumbling as Sirius knew taking off such tight jeans should be. Then Remus kissed his hip and trailed his lips back up to Sirius's.

"You're gorgeous," Remus whispered.

"Back at you," Sirius gasped, overwhelmed at how good skin on skin felt when he really loved and wanted the person pressing him into the mattress. “Feels good, angel.”

Remus pressed kisses across his face and neck. “Tell me what you want, love, anything, and I’ll give it to you.”

Sirius’s hand found its way to Remus’s mussed curls. “Just, just touch me. Kiss me. While you prep me.” He pinked a little, hoping Remus didn’t ask about his own previous experience.

“Good, don’t think I want to stop touching you ever again,” Remus murmured. He kissed down Sirius’s chest. The angle that let them grind their erections together changed as Remus moved and Sirius found himself desperately rutting into Remus’s stomach instead.

“Rem,” Sirius groaned. “Please more.” After years of being more or less satisfied with rather perfunctory sex, Sirius was desperate for as much as Remus could give him.

Remus reached over and pulled open the nightstand drawer, leaving one hand splayed possessively across Sirius’s ribs. He pulled out the bottle of lube and a condom, which he tossed on the bed beside them. The drawer knocked shut. He pressed his lips hard to Sirius’s again and shifted down the bed.

“Pads, I know it would be easier on your knees, but do you mind being on your back?”

“Yes, please. I wanna see you too,” Sirius said. His hand came up to brush back Remus’s hair so he could see his eyes. They were almost all pupil now, which made Sirius grin. Then Remus popped the cap on the lube and slicked up two fingers. One circled his entrance gently. “I haven’t in a while,” Sirius said. “But you don’t have to be too careful. I’ve fingered myself while jerking off plenty of times.” Remus smirked at him, pressing his first finger in to the second knuckle.

“In the last few months?” Remus asked, teasing. "Thought about this?"

“Hnnnggg,” Sirius groaned, “yes.” Remus twisted his finger, pumping slowly enough to drive Sirius crazy. “M’gonna need like three or four, you’re big.”

Remus’s smile softened. “I know. I’ve thought a lot about this.” He pressed a kiss to Sirius’s chest. “You feel good?” Sirius nodded quickly. Remus’s second finger was catching on Sirius’s rim beside the first, gently pulling until it slid in beside the first and Sirius gasped at the feeling. His face betrayed no pain or real discomfort, which made Remus feel much better. He had fooled around with a few guys, but he’d never done _this_ to another person. He’d only practiced a little on himself when he was home alone, just to get a feel for it. He curled and pumped and scissored his fingers, slowly teasing Sirius’s entrance open, relaxing the muscle. As he did, he leaned down to press kisses across Sirius’s collarbones and neck. His other hand trailed fingers up and down Sirius’s cock, just enough to be not enough.

Sirius slid one hand around Remus’s back, the other reaching down over his hip. He trailed fingers across the sensitive skin of his thigh, his hip, his groin, brushed the amber coloured treasure trail with gentle fingertips. Then he curled his fingers around the base of Remus’s cock and began to stroke just the right side of too slowly. Remus gasped in time with Sirius.

“God Moony,” Sirius moaned. “Can’t wait to have you inside me. Gonna fill me right up.” He was far and away the thickest and probably the longest Sirius had ever had. Not that he’d been fucked by all that many men, just a few and only a few times, but he’d done other things as well and Remus beat them all.

Remus nudged a third finger in. Sirius shifted a little at the stretch, but he was relaxed and the slide was eased by plenty of lube. The lips on his neck slowed to just a press of skin and breath as Remus pumped his fingers slowly into Sirius, changing the angle and depth until Sirius twitched and keened. A smirk pressed into his neck now.

“Ahhh, fuck,” Sirius breathed. “Right there, you smug bastard.” Remus chuckled. “So good, Moony.” Remus continued to prep him, paying attention to his prostate until Sirius was moaning and canting his hips back and begging for another finger or his cock, whichever he thought Remus was more likely to give him at that moment.

“One more, you think?” Remus asked, unfairly composed. Sirius tightened his grip on his cock. A tiny moan slipped from his lips. Sirius tried and failed to smirk in response. “Yeah, I think another.”

“Moony,” Sirius whined.

“Another, unless you really think you’re good without.”

Sirius sighed. “I’ll be more comfortable with another,” he admitted. “But you could just fuck me now and I’d be fine.”

Remus kissed his jaw. “Another then,” he said. His pinkie slid in on the next inward thrust of his fingers and Remus flexed them to spread Sirius even more. “How’s that?”

“Feels good. M’warm and so, so, so turned on.”

“Just a little longer, I’ll be quicker next time.”

Sirius shrugged carefully. “Doesn’t matter, feels great anyway.” His lips found Remus’s temple for a moment. “There’s a time for rough, s’not tonight.”

Remus tipped his head up and kissed Sirius properly. “I’m glad we agree. Can you hand me the condom?” The packet was up past Sirius’s head, sitting on the pillow.

“I’ll put it on you,” Sirius said, reaching up to grab it. He tore the packet open with his teeth and rolled it down over Remus’s erection. He stroked Remus’s cock again over the condom.

With a groan, Remus slid his fingers free. “I think you’re ready,” he said, drizzling a bit of lube on his cock and spreading it with the excess from his hand. “Uh, knees up further, yeah?” Sirius smiled at the sudden uncertainty. Remus was very good at being in control of things. He’d always been more mature and settled in himself than Sirius, which translated well to him taking charge a bit more. But in this, Sirius had the experience.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed, shifting to pull his knees toward his chest and spread them. “Come here?” Remus complied readily, sliding into the space between Sirius’s thighs. Then Sirius wrapped his legs around Remus’s waist and his arms around his shoulders and neck. “I want to be close,” he explained. But Remus only smiled.

“So do I,” he said. He kissed Sirius quite thoroughly as he dropped down onto one forearm and brought the head of his cock to Sirius’s entrance with the other hand.

“Slow, please, you’re way bigger than anyone else I’ve been with,” Sirius whispered.

“I’ll go slow, love, don’t worry.” Remus kissed him again and pressed forward just until the head slipped past Sirius’s rim. “Okay?”

Sirius gasped for a moment. “Uh huh, more, s’okay.” Remus dropped his still slightly lubed hand between them to stroke Sirius’s cock, finding his erection hadn’t flagged at all. “More, please, Rem.” Remus slowly pressed forward again until he was fully seated and Sirius was moaning and clenching around him.

“You okay?” Remus asked, lips pressed to Sirius’s jaw.

“Yeah, just, just need a sec before you move.”

“Tell me when.”

Sirius sighed. “Oh fuck,” he breathed. “I’m just perfectly full. You fill me up so fucking good.” Remus kept kissing Sirius’s neck and slowly jerking his cock as he adjusted. “I’m good, angel, please fuck me.”

“As you wish,” Remus said with a little smirk. He kissed Sirius once more on the lips, then raised himself up just enough to pull out and snap his hips back in. He shifted and changed the angle a few times until Sirius cried out. “Quiet baby, I have flatmates.”

For a moment, Sirius couldn’t respond, consumed by pleasure. “Unnggghhh, sorry,” Sirius moaned out. “Fuuuuckkk,” he keened. “So good, right fucking there.” Remus had no intention of aiming anywhere else. Sirius put his lips to Remus’s neck, hoping to stifle some of his cries and make Remus feel good at the same time. When he found a few sensitive spots, Remus groaned and his hips stuttered or thrust harder. It wasn’t long before the steady, building pleasure bubbled up in him. “So close, Moony, gonna come.”

Remus fucked him just a little harder, hit his prostate just a little more perfectly. Golden bolts of pleasure shot up and out from Sirius’s neck, where Remus was still nipping at him, from his cock, where it rubbed against Remus’s stomach, and from his prostate that was nudged over and over again until he couldn’t take it any longer. With a stifled cry, Sirius came hard in between them, painting both of their chests with streaks of come.

Remus shifted his angle so he didn’t keep driving into Sirius’s prostate. The hand in his hair pulled him down so Sirius could kiss him. He groaned into the kiss, hips snapping faster and harder as he climbed the last bit toward release. Then he came with a groan from deep within his chest. His hips stuttered and stilled and he exhaled in a few harsh pants as he came down.

“Good, angel?” Sirius whispered.

“Yeah, fuck,” Remus groaned. He kissed Sirius again, just because he could. Slowly, he pulled out of Sirius and tied off the condom. He tossed it in the small bin by the bed and grabbed a handful of tissues to clean them both up. “Want me to get a flannel?” Remus asked.

“Nah, gotta go brush my teeth and stuff before we sleep. We can clean up more then. Just want you to hold me right now.”

“Well, that can be arranged.” Remus curled them up together on the small bed and tucked his face in Sirius’s hair.

For long minutes, they just breathed together, calm and comfortable. Sirius traced nonsense patterns on Remus’s skin. And Remus tried to memorize every bit of Sirius he could sense. The feeling of his breath against his neck, the warmth of his skin, exactly how much smaller than Remus he was. How his hair smelled, the scent of their sweat and sex in the air. A little peck landed on Remus’s collarbone.

“So, good for a first time?” Sirius asked.

“Absolutely perfect.”

“You were so much calmer than I was my first time. I was a total disaster.” He chuckled self-deprecatingly. “I mean, I’m still a total disaster.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“True. But still. I was scared, even though I wanted to know what it was like. And the bloke I was with, I shouldn’t have been.”

“Why?” Remus asked, concern colouring his voice.

Sirius shrugged one shoulder. “He was older than me, by more than was okay at that age. I lied and said I was older. And he wasn’t that patient with me. He didn’t know it was my first time when we started, but I think he must have by the end. I had better sex after that, but none of my partners were any more invested in it than I was. It was just physical release, not even intimacy.” He looked up to meet Remus’s eyes. “This was the best sex I’ve ever had.” He dropped a kiss on Remus’s chin and smirked. “And not just because of your very above average equipment.” Remus rolled his eyes, though he was blushing. “Whenever I’ve done this before, it’s like we’re both just trying to get off, using each other to get there. But with you, we’re focused on each other. And we love each other. I think it makes a difference.”

Remus kissed him properly. “It does, I think. You know, I have fooled around with other people, just didn’t do this with anyone. We’d already started talking and I just didn’t want to.” Sirius nodded. “You know I don’t mind that you did. But I just decided to stick to other things. And they were good, really, but my heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t as invested, like you said. I’m very invested in everything to do with you.”

Sirius buried his smile in Remus’s neck. “Stop being sweet. I can’t blush all the time when you’re around.” Remus snorted. He rubbed a hand across Sirius’s back as they settled.

From somewhere over the edge of the bed, a shrill ring sounded. Remus half turned to listen and guess where his trousers had gone. The phone was in them, he was pretty sure. It rang again and he sighed. He reached over the edge and tugged the black jeans toward him until he could reach the pocket where his phone was loudly ringing. He pulled it out and settled back beside Sirius.

“Hi Lil,” he answered. “Everything okay?”

“Have you heard from Sirius?”

“Huh?” Remus asked, confused.

“He hasn’t answered any of our texts since yesterday, after the news about the case, you know. And James and I just came over to his flat and it’s empty. I’m just worried he’s out with someone, or something. His parents always send him off the deep end.”

Sirius watched Remus’s expression soften. “Lily, take a breath. He’s fine and safe. He’s here with me.”

“He’s what? Since when?”

“He drove out yesterday afternoon. He’s just gone a little off grid for the time being, don’t worry about him.” Sirius stuck his hand out for the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Hi Lil,” Sirius said. “I’m fine, not losing it. The only alcohol I’m drinking is local beer and the only marks I’ll have when I get back are Moony’s. Tell James to stop worrying.”

She was silent for a moment. “You could’ve said, Padfoot.”

“Sorry, I just wanted out. I needed to be away and I wanted Remus, so sue me. You wouldn’t be the first.” Remus held him almost too tightly at that.

“I’m not angry, Sirius. We were just worried about you. Text one of us next time, please? We won’t try to stop you.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m sorry I gave you a fright. Here’s Remus back.”

“He’s doing fine, Lil,” Remus said.

“And you two are settling into being a couple in the same room just fine?” she asked.

“Well, I only have the one single bed, so it would really suck if we weren’t,” he said. “We’re fine. We’re currently cuddling.”

Sirius tipped his head up to put his mouth near the phone. “You’re ruining the afterglow, Lil.” He paused to hear her squawk of dismay. “And get out of my flat.”

Remus chuckled at Lily’s loud rebuttals. “Tell your soulmate to stop divulging details I don’t want. And that I’m taking James home and his birdhouse of a flat is safe.” Sirius nodded to show he’d heard.

“Alright, give our love to James then. And we’ll text you tomorrow or something. I’ll make sure Sirius texts you before he leaves on Monday morning.”

“Yeah, alright. Good night, you two.” Remus swore he heard something along the lines of ‘stupid boys’ before she rang off.

He set his phone on the nightstand and looped his arm back around Sirius's waist. No reason to stop cuddling. Sirius kissed his chest gently.

"When you come visit, I'm never letting you leave my bed."

"Is it bigger than this one?" Sirius nodded. "Then I have no complaints. James and Lily might, but I don't." Sirius giggled and tucked himself impossibly closer.

"I might let you up for birthday dinner with them. And maybe if I find a flat for us to go look at. But otherwise you're mine for the weekend," Sirius said.

"Well, I can't argue with that. Shall we go clean up and get ready for bed?"

"If we have to," Sirius sighed.

Remus nodded and they got up, pulling on pyjamas for the quick trip to the bathroom and back. Sirius stripped back down to just his boxers and Remus kept just his pyjama bottoms on as they crawled under the covers. They wrapped around each other chest to chest again in the dark room.

"I like to feel you," Sirius tried to explain. He trailed a hand down Remus's chest. "I mean, it’s sexy but also just nice. Comforting."

"You can touch me whenever you want," Remus murmured. "Especially if it makes you feel good. I definitely don't mind. I love it." Sirius beamed up at him. "You are so cute, and so beautiful." He watched the blush rise on Sirius's cheeks and smiled wider. Then he kissed Sirius quickly and cuddled him close. "Sleep babe, we have all day tomorrow. And the whole day after that."

“I want to have _all_ the days after that,” Sirius pouted.

“Greedy,” Remus teased. Sirius nodded. “Possessive.”

“I am,” Sirius admitted. “Like too much. I’m sorry.”

Remus rubbed a gentle hand across his back. “Don’t be. You’re not the only one. And I always sorta figured you were anyway.” Sirius tipped his head back to look at Remus with a perfect ‘confused puppy’ expression. Head tilted and everything. “That’s what bothered you before, wasn’t it? When you’d hook up with someone and then go home and write sad poetry to me about how it was supposed to be for me.”

“Oh,” Sirius breathed. “Yeah, it did bother me. I...don’t be mad, but I kind of wanted you to tell me to stop. Like, I enjoy sex, generally, and it was a good release, but I always felt like I was cheating on you and that made me feel icky. And I just wanted you to be possessive and upset and tell me to stop. I would have. It’s not like it was all that much better than wanking.” He shrugged, knowing exactly what that said about his previous hook-ups.

“I wanted to,” Remus said. “It seemed like it hurt you but you kept doing it and I didn’t even know your name. I didn’t have any claim on you.”

“You had the _only_ claim.”

“Baby, you’re your own person. Back then, the only claim I had was to the writing on your arm. But I never liked thinking of other men touching you. I still don’t want to think of it. But I couldn’t just tell you not to when we weren’t even together. I will ask that now, though.” He let out a slow breath. “Open relationships work for some people, but they just don’t suit me. I’d be constantly terrified that I’d end up being your second choice and I just can’t handle that. I spent way too much of my life being the spare friend, the optional member of the group.”

Sirius tipped Remus’s head down until their foreheads touched and their eyes met. “You are my first choice of people. For everything. Always. You always were.” Remus’s throat tightened. To be the sole focus of Sirius’s attention, the recipient of such intense emotion, was almost too much. But the best too much he’d ever felt. “Even when you were just writing to me in Welsh and painting on my arm. The most vibrant colours in my entire childhood were yours. I never wrote to you, but you were a constant source of comfort. Ever since my nanny explained who you were to me, all I wanted was to belong to you instead of my family.”

“You do,” Remus promised. “Just because I didn’t act on it doesn’t mean I didn’t feel possessive of you every single time you mentioned someone else.” He shrugged. “I just learned from experience that the most important people in my life had more important people in theirs. I couldn’t keep them just because I wanted to and I could keep them even less if I showed them how possessive I was of them.”

“I’m not them,” Sirius said. “I’m giving you permission to be possessive. Please, I just want to be yours.”

“We belong to each other, then. No one else.”

Sirius pressed their lips together and settled. “Perfect,” he sighed. “So, it’s been several months since I’ve hooked up with anyone, like since before the tour. And I was already planning to get tested since I haven’t since before the tour either. Maybe after that we could stop using condoms? Would you li—?”

“Yes, I would really like to do that. I haven’t been with anyone at all since I got tested, which was a while ago.”

Sirius beamed at him. “That’s what I want for my birthday, then. Want you to come inside me.”

“That can be arranged, but I’m still getting you a present.”

“You being there is more than enough.”

Remus huffed a fond little laugh. “You can’t exactly unwrap my presence at dinner, and it would be very rude of me to come inside you at the restaurant. Not to mention other people would see and I’m the only one who gets to see you like that.”

Sirius sighed throatily. “Moony, you’re gonna get me all worked up again.”

Another low chuckle. “I think monogamy is your kink.” Sirius laughed and nodded. “I love you, but I’m gonna get worked up too and we really should go to sleep.”

“Alright, but birthday present expectations have been set,” Sirius said. “And now that I know you like it, I’m not gonna hide my bitchiness if other people come sniffing around my Moony.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less, my overdramatic love.”

Sirius tucked his head under Remus’s chin. “I love you. Good night.”

“Good night, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!  
> Next time: the rest of the weekend trip!


	4. So, Sorry If I Say Some Things I Mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the weekend in Aberystwyth, featuring: the return of the twerp, new familiar faces, and a new song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm a touch late with this. Story of my life, really. But I hope you'll enjoy the remainder of the weekend, with a touch more smut and a lot of fun, sweet times to be had

The next morning went much the same as the previous. They showered one after the other down the hall and dressed for the day. Sirius pulled another pair of ridiculously skinny jeans out of his bag, not really noticing until Remus made a strangled noise as they finally slid over his arse.

“Do you own any jeans that won’t make me want to take you immediately back to bed?” he asked tightly.

“Oh,” Sirius laughed. “Uh, I mean, yes, but I didn’t bring any. My plan was to keep teasing you until you just gave in and took me to bed. I didn’t expect it to be so easy.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I think you wildly underestimated how attractive you are, and how much I already wanted you,” he said.

Which just made Sirius grin. “To be fair, most of my trousers are pretty tight. I just made sure to bring my tightest jeans with me.”

“I’m just going to be like half hard all the time then. You’re hot when you’re dressed, and hot when you’re undressed. I’d say you should wear oversized stuff so you’re just soft and cuddly all the time, but seeing you in my clothes is just as hot.”

Sirius laughed. “I’m not even sorry.” He pulled his hair up into a messy bun again and put on his glasses.

“You wouldn’t be.”

“Besides, it’s not like it’s easier for me. _You_ can’t just change clothes and stop being so bloody tall and fit and able to manhandle me.”

Remus smirked. “Knew you liked it.” Blush crawled up Sirius’s neck, but he looked more pleased than embarrassed. “Do all soulmates go through, like, a honeymoon phase? Or is it just worse because of how we got together?”

“I think James and Lil had something like it. They definitely couldn’t keep their hands to themselves for a while after they got together. I’d come into the dorm and not know where one ended and the other began. And that was just when they were cuddling in James’s bed. But it might be worse because we kinda did the finding each other thing and then had to wait _forever_ to meet for real.”

“And we’re already adults. I’d guess kids who meet their soulmate are probably inseparable the way most kids are with their best friend anyway. It’d probably be less emotional for them, too,” Remus said.

“And we have to keep being apart,” Sirius groused. “I’m probably gonna cry when I have to leave you. Just as a warning.”

Remus wrapped him in a hug. “Me too,” he whispered into Sirius’s hair. “I’m going to be looking forward to your birthday as much as you are.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Sirius’s lips. “Let’s go get some breakfast. I’ll show you campus and you can pretend to be a student again.”

“Oh, can we stop at the school store? I wanna rep my soulmate’s uni, show off how proud I am of you,” Sirius said as they left Remus’s room.

“Anything you want,” Remus said with a chuckle. “You know I’m not shy about how proud I am of you.”

“I should get you some merch. I’ll have my manager send me stuff for you before you come visit.”

Remus dropped a kiss on his temple as they left the building with their arms around each other. “I don’t think that’s how birthdays are supposed to work, but I will gladly wear your merch.”

“Gotta leave my mark on you,” Sirius teased.

“I don’t have a logo to plaster all over you, but I think I can send you back to London with a love bite or two,” Remus murmured in his ear. Sirius whimpered and pressed himself further into Remus’s side, which only made him chuckle. “At least until I can put a ring on it.” Sirius barked a laugh, reaching his free hand up to tangle with the one Remus had dangling over his shoulder.

“Don’t take as long as James did.”

Remus snorted. “You’re welcome to propose to me if you think I’m taking too long, but I feel like you’d happily do it tonight and that might be a little ridiculous given our current situation.”

“Am I that easy to read or is it just because you’re you?”

“Probably just me, maybe James and Lily. But they’ve known you forever.”

“True. Don’t tell James, but I think you know me better than he does. He’ll be sad that it took you no time at all to surpass him.” Remus huffed a laugh and agreed.

After breakfast, they walked up the hill toward campus so Remus could give Sirius a full tour. He pointed out the student residences he’d lived in the previous two years, took him through the English and History department buildings, and gave him a whispered tour of the main library. Then they went to the Union. It was busy, but not as bad as on a weekday.

“See that table where those two girls are sitting?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded. “I was sitting right there when Alice played your song for me.”

Sirius looked up at him, eyes wide. “You were right here when you found out?”

“Well, we went back to my room once I realized, she told you that,” Remus said. “But yeah, just over there, with coffee. I’ll always have a nice memory of this building, even though I grumble about how busy it is and trip over the Freshers’ Fair every term because I forget it’s happening and never seem to get enough work done. I’ll still remember sitting over there with Alice’s headphones in my ears and hearing your voice for the very first time.” Sirius rocked up on his toes to kiss Remus.

“That’s the sweetest thing ever,” Sirius said. “We’ll have to come back to it when you graduate. Give it a proper send off.”

“You just want to snog me in front of everyone.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind,” Sirius giggled. “But you can take me to get a hoodie or something in the meantime so I can show you off when I have to go home.”

Remus smiled and led him off toward the shop. They looked around at the various types of school merch available. Sirius was taken with the idea of getting a travel mug so he could take Remus’s school logo everywhere with him. And Remus didn’t feel like disagreeing. When they reached the hoodies, which Sirius insisted he wanted, he couldn’t decide.

“I have this one,” Remus said, touching the sleeve of a dark grey pullover. “It’s nice.”

Sirius gave him a calculating look. “Moony,” he began, “if I buy one for you, can I take yours home?”

Trying to hide his grin, Remus wrapped an arm around him and spoke close to his ear. “You can take it anyway. I’ll wrap you up in it before you go, so you won’t be so sad on your drive home.” He pressed his lips to Sirius’s cheek. “But you should pick one for yourself. I have other hoodies. I won’t miss it.”

“You sure?” Remus nodded. After a few more minutes of indecision, Sirius decided on a blue pullover that he insisted would look great under his usual leather jacket. Once they paid, Sirius took the bag and they headed back into the main areas of the building hand in hand.

Remus pointed out anything he'd missed before looping back to pass his favourite table again. He glanced around, then groaned quietly.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“Benjy,” Remus grumbled. “School paper bloke. He’s seen me now, shit.”

“Well he can go to hell,” Sirius said, then pulled Remus slightly down by his hand and reached up to kiss him. That twerp would learn not to hit on Remus anymore.

Remus smirked knowingly at Sirius when they parted. “Possessive,” he whispered. Sirius grinned.

“Remus,” Benjy said as he approached, making them both look up. “Nice to see you in daylight.”

“Sure,” Remus said, raising an eyebrow. “Babe, this is Benjy, from the school paper.”

Sirius gave a half wave with the hand holding his shopping. “Nice to meet you. I’m Sirius, Remus’s soulmate.”

Benjy’s eyes skittered over their joined hands, then across Sirius’s face, then widened. “Uh, nice to meet you too. Just visiting for the weekend?” he asked, attempting to make less awkward conversation.

“Mmhm, and planning out holidays and visits for the rest of the year,” Sirius said. Benjy nodded. “And meeting his friends from uni, of course. I’ve been away and haven’t been able to visit him during term.”

“Oh, right, of course,” Benjy said.

He knew exactly who Sirius was and Sirius knew he knew. And he wanted Benjy to know that he was very aware of why he knew Remus. He was rubbing it in as much as possible. Was it a little possessive and petty and bitchy? Yeah, probably, but he would never claim it wasn’t. They’d established that last night.

“How are you liking it?” Benjy asked.

“It’s nice, very pretty. And my uni never felt so cohesive. Guess that’s what happens when you try to fit a campus in between buildings in London,” Sirius said with a shrug.

“Well, you should get the full experience. There’s a party tonight down the hill. You should come,” Benjy said.

“We prob—” Remus began.

“Maybe we will, that might be fun,” Sirius cut him off. “What do you think, angel?” he asked, looking up at Remus through his lashes.

“If you want,” Remus replied. He knew what Sirius was doing and it would be kind of mean if it wasn’t Benjy he was doing it to. It was actually a little more attractive than Remus wanted to admit that Sirius was being so obnoxiously possessive because of some twerp Remus had turned down twice. “We should probably go find some lunch, though.”

“Yeah, I’m getting hungry,” Sirius said, taking the cue for what it was. _That’s enough now_. “It was nice to meet you. Maybe we’ll see you tonight.” Then he squeezed Remus’s hand and they stepped past Benjy.

Only once they were outside and well out of earshot did Remus speak. “You are such a brat, you know,” Remus said fondly. “He figured out who you were right away.”

“I really don’t care,” Sirius said. “I wanted him to know that I know you turned him down because you have me and that he’s been barking up the wrong tree with the absolute worst argument the whole time.” He rubbed his thumb across Remus’s hand. “Besides, it’s not like he can do anything to me.”

“He does write for the school paper and he has social media. He could write or post about you being here.”

“What’s he gonna say? Sirius Black’s soulmate is Welsh uni student Remus Lupin? Big whoop. I’ll tell everyone that you’re amazing and brilliant and I love you. I’m not in the closet, I’ve already talked about you in an interview, and this isn’t exactly a small university. No offense, but I bet most people wouldn’t be able to point you out to some random pap. If they’d even want to come out here to look for us.”

“True, it is pretty far for a pretty benign photo of us holding hands on the promenade.”

“Exactly,” Sirius agreed. “And lawsuit aside, I’m not big news. I don’t trash hotels or get caught in VIP rooms with coke and strippers or something really scandalous. I just tell the truth about my parents and write blasphemous songs about wanting to suck you off.”

Remus snorted. “I mean, you didn’t have to write me a song. You could just ask.”

Sirius laughed, knocking his shoulder into Remus. “Don’t worry, I absolutely will. But I mean it, I don’t care if he or anyone else knows. So long as I can walk down the street with you without being mobbed, the rest doesn’t matter.”

“It might not be a great idea to go to that party, then,” Remus said. “He’d probably love to get a picture of you looking drunk at a party.”

“Does he really think that’ll cause a scandal? I’ll be with you. Drinking literally just makes me want you more. That’s why I wrote to you so much when I was drunk before I went on tour.”

“So you’ll be drunk and plastered to my chest?”

“I always want to be plastered to some part of you, drunk me just can’t help myself.”

Remus huffed a laugh. “That sounds like you. Do you really want to go? We can, but we should probably see if Frank and Alice will come for backup.”

Sirius shrugged. “I won’t say no to seeing them again. But I would like to go. I wanna dance with you and I don’t care if that twerp thinks it’s scandalous. He can go fuck himself. But we don’t have to stay late. Just for a while and then you can take me home to bed and I’ll ask very nicely to suck you off.”

“I can live with that,” Remus chuckled. He pressed a kiss to Sirius’s temple as they walked. “At least you brought the right jeans for a party.” Sirius laughed and knocked into him again.

 **  
Remus  
** We ran into Benjy today

 **Alice  
** Oh shit

 **Remus  
** Yeah, so now we’re going to some party in town tonight to prove a point  
The point being that Benjy tried to hit on me by insulting my soulmate  
And therefore Sirius wins?  
I’m not sure how to explain it

 **Alice  
** I get it, he wants to be petty

 **Remus  
** Yeah, so will you and Frank come back us up?  
I’m worried Benjy will try to get pics

 **Alice  
** Sorry love, I’ve got a lab report due Mon  
Frank might go if you really need him

 **Remus  
** No, I know he likes his nights in when you’re working

 **Alice  
** I know another couple who might consider it  
You should know one of them  
Dorcas Meadowes

 **Remus  
** Oh, yeah I’ve had class with her, she’s lovely

 **Alice  
** Her soulmate is a social butterfly, they’d go out if they’re free  
And you can have more couple friends

 **Remus  
** I’ll text her  
Thanks Al

 **Alice  
** Anytime  
Give Sirius our love too

  
Remus was frowning at his phone when Sirius got back from the loo. He sighed and searched for a text conversation from a group assignment the previous year.

“What’s up?” Sirius asked, dropping down beside him.

“Alice has homework and can’t come out. But she mentioned a friend from class that might be willing. Apparently her soulmate likes to go out, unlike Frank who likes to drink in the comfort of their flat. Not that I blame him.” Sirius huffed a laugh and settled, leaving Remus to text their potential backup.

 **  
Remus  
** Hi Dorcas, it’s Remus from our Welsh history class last year

 **Dorcas  
** Hey Remus, what’s up?

 **Remus  
** I have a sort of weird ask  
My soulmate’s in town for the wkd and for reasons we’re going to a party tonight  
To prove a point to a bloke at the school paper

 **Dorcas  
** The guy Alice calls a twerp?

 **Remus  
** That’s him  
It’s just, I’d appreciate safety in numbers  
For reasons which would be easier to explain in person

 **Dorcas  
** He’s not like a royal is he?  
Ur soulmate

  
“Sirius, you’re not in line for the throne, right?” Remus asked. He knew the Blacks had titles, but he’d never bothered to really care about them. He figured he wouldn’t address Walburga and Orion politely unless he was actually in a court or something.

“Nope, thank god. Can you imagine how much worse they’d be if we were?”

Remus snorted. “Fair point.”

 **  
Remus  
** No, tho his parents are posh  
But that’s a separate issue

 **Dorcas  
** I assume you want me and Marls to come with

 **Remus  
** That would be ideal, if you don’t mind

 **Dorcas  
** She definitely doesn’t mind, but she’s more curious than I am  
Is he likely to cause or be victim of a fight?  
Or is someone gonna try to put something in your drinks?  
Or are we protecting identities?  
Is he in the closet?  
These are all Marls btw

 **Remus  
** Uh, protecting identities is pretty spot on  
He’s actually a mildly famous musician, he just came back from touring

 **Dorcas  
** Would I know anything by him?

 **Remus  
** Take Me to Church  
Here, pic for proof  
<1 image attachment>

 **Dorcas  
** Marls is screeching  
She says she likes his music but that’s not why she’s excited  
She just keeps saying it’ll be a great surprise and won’t tell me more  
So, I guess we’ll be there

 **Remus  
** Thanks for coming to our rescue  
And it’ll be nice to meet your soulmate, I hope

 **Dorcas  
** Yeah, I hope too  
See you tonight

* * *

Remus and Sirius met Dorcas and her soulmate at the end of the block where the party was being held. They could hear the bass from the music softly leaking out onto the street as they turned the corner. Dorcas stood on the sidewalk, dark hair pulled up on top of her head and wearing tight jeans. Beside her stood a tall blonde bouncing excitedly in her wedge boots. An unexpected smile spread Sirius’s lips wide.

“Marlene fuckin’ McKinnon,” he said. The blonde turned and Dorcas followed.

Marlene squealed and threw her arms around Sirius. “It’s fucking aces to see you Padfoot!” Remus and Dorcas traded confused looks. “And you found your boy. All you had to do was sing for the whole fucking world first,” she teased.

“Well, he found me,” Sirius said. “Marls, this is Remus. Marlene went to Hogwarts with me.” Remus shook her hand, grinning now that he understood. Though, her use of Sirius’s school nickname was a giveaway. “Actually, she roomed with Lily for years. Marls, Remus is Lily’s friend too. She used to come out here somewhere in the summer.”

“Oh, her summer cottage friend,” Marlene said. Then paused. “You know, she was sad one year when she came back because her best friend’s soulmate was having problems like Padfoot was. It was you, wasn’t it?” Remus nodded. “Small world. And I bet you’re going to the wedding in December.”

“He’s the man of honour now.”

“No way!” Marlene cried. “We’re gonna be besties, Remus, because I’m a bridesmaid.”

Dorcas shook her head, laughing. “This is too much, I can’t believe you all know each other.”

“I couldn’t believe Lily had known my soulmate all along,” Remus said.

“We should get Alice and Frank out to London sometime,” Dorcas said. “Then all four of us couples will know each other. We can just rotate double dates.”

Sirius grinned widely. “That’d be amazing. I really wanna plan that now.” The noise spiked for a moment as someone opened the door to the house down the block and music spilled out into the street. “We should go in, though.”

“School paper twerp needs to learn his lesson?” Marlene asked.

“Obviously,” Sirius said. “Hands off my Moony.”

Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius’s waist. “I realize this isn’t the main point here, but he never actually put his hands on me. He was just an arse and got really smug about negging me through you.”

“Was this before or after you guys got together?” Dorcas asked.

“Well, it was right before I told him I knew who he was. Then again a few weeks ago when we were already as good as dating.”

“Let’s go show him that you two have more fun without him,” Marlene said, striding toward the house with Dorcas’s hand in hers.

* * *

In various stages of tipsy, the four of them stumbled out of the party and onto the pavement.

"Successful mission of pettiness," Marlene declared.

Sirius laughed. "We showed that twerp!" He settled, then perked back up almost immediately. "I could go for a greasy bag of chips. Anywhere still open?"

"Only the best of the drunken deli haunts," Marlene replied. She led them through the streets with uncanny, drunken accuracy.

The deli stood on the corner, a beacon of harsh fluorescent light on the otherwise darkened street.

"I lived here a whole year before she came and I didn't even know this place existed," Dorcas said after they'd gotten their food and were sitting on the kerb to eat it.

"A year?" Remus asked.

"I transferred," Marlene said. "So we could get to know each other, ya know?"

Dorcas snorted. "Yeah, that didn't even last six months. We moved in together over Christmas."

"Awww," Sirius cooed. "Like me and Remus. I'm buying us a flat for when he graduates."

"All about the grand gestures, as always, Padfoot," Marlene said.

"Speaking of," Remus said. "I never did get the story of how he became Padfoot."

Marlene guffawed. "Oh my god, I love this story!" She angled herself to better face them. "It all started, as everything with Sirius does, with a prank. He and James pranked the girls' dorm, so we plotted our revenge. We thought, what do fifteen-year-old boys fear? Feminine hygiene products."

"Oh god," Remus laughed.

"So we snuck in and stuck pads on the floor beside their beds. New ones, but we poured some cranberry juice on them so they'd be wet and gross. And then we waited. Sirius woke up first and we heard him scream in disgust."

"I thought it was a used one!" Sirius protested.

Marlene snorted. "Anyway, we burst in and see his foot fully on one of the pads and we're laughing. Then Lily goes: what's wrong? It's just a pad on your foot. You afraid to catch pad-foot-itis or something?"

"And I said," Sirius interjected, "it's _wet_ , Evans. It feels gross."

"And I said, just imagine that on your crotch for hours because you don't have a spare and can't run upstairs for one until lunch," Marlene said. "Of course, he was properly horrified, because he's not a total idiot and he knows it doesn't just stop. So the next off campus weekend, he went to the village and bought boxes and boxes of pads, tampons, and liners, in different absorbencies and put them in a box under his bed. Which he refilled the stash in his backpack from. The whole front pocket was full of them and we spread the word to everyone we could that if you needed a spare, no matter what year, or House, or gender identity, Padfoot would give them away for free. And that's how we dubbed him Padfoot."

"From stepping on a pad and becoming the sanitary product dealer," Dorcas said. "You're a very kind, insane disaster, Sirius. Has anyone told you that?"

"Lily tells me all the time," Sirius said with a quick grin. "James would too, but he has no room to talk."

Remus laughed. "I don't know what I was expecting that story to be, but it wasn't that." Sirius beamed up at him. "I love you, you ridiculous boy."

"Love you too, my sensible, sarcastic angel." Sirius pecked him on the cheek, then popped another salty chip into his mouth.

"You're drunk, love," Remus teased.

"On you," Sirius insisted.

Beside them, Dorcas had an arm snug around Marlene's waist and her head propped up on Marlene's shoulder. It had been a good night. Happy. And productive, at least in the way of pettiness.  
  


* * *

  
Sunday morning, a phone rang from the nightstand, startling Remus and Sirius out of drowsy contentment and into full wakefulness. Remus grumbled incoherently and grabbed the phone.

"Lo?" he answered.

"Good morning, cariad," his mother said.

"Ugh hi Mum. What's up?"

"Oh, did I wake you? It's already ten."

"Not exactly, just haven't got up yet."

"Did you have a late night?" she asked. Remus didn't often sleep late during the term.

"Yeah, kind of. How are you? Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Just wanted to see how you are. And your soulmate. I heard the news about the case. Absolute rubbish. Just utter bullshite."

Remus huffed a laugh. "I'm glad you think so too. I'll tell him that."

"He's doing alright?"

"Well, he wasn't doing so good on Thursday, but he's better now." Remus smiled down at Sirius dozing off beside him. "He's currently hogging my pillow." A little grin tipped Sirius's lips.

"Oh! Remus! He came to see you?"

"Yeah, he's going home in the morning before I go to class. Speaking of visits, actually, do we have room for one more at Christmas? We'll bunk up to make space."

Hope snorted a laugh. "I'm sure you will. Of course Sirius is more than welcome to join us for Christmas. Will he be coming back with you from the wedding?"

"Good question." Remus tilted the phone down. "Sirius, are you coming home with me after the wedding? Or did you want to drive out later?"

Sirius hummed in thought. "Spend a couple days with me in London and then we'll drive out together?"

Remus put the phone back up to his mouth and relayed the decision to Hope. "And I'm going back to London with him for New Years. He'll drive me back to school."

"I'll get everything ready for you. I'm so excited to meet him," she said. Remus chuckled. "I am! And I'm so happy you're settling in together. You're still going out there next month?"

"Yeah for his birthday weekend."

"Are you planning to move to London, then?"

"In June, probably. He's looking into buying a flat for us."

"That's very sweet of him. Will you send me pictures of the two of you before Christmas? I have an idea."

"For what?"

"Just an idea."

"Alright, I guess. What kind of pictures?"

"Cute ones, not just ones he puts online."

Sirius looked over at him. "We can take cute pictures. I'm exceptionally cute and you're _adorable_."

A laugh escaped Remus and he bent forward to kiss Sirius's forehead. "Okay, I'll send you some, Mum. Is everything else going alright?"

"Oh, yes dear, everything's fine. I won't keep you. I imagine you both want to get up and have some breakfast. Give Sirius my love."

"I will, love you, Mum."

"I love you too, have a good day."

They rang off and Remus wrapped himself around Sirius again. "Mum sends her love." Sirius nodded and tucked his grinning face into the crook of Remus's neck. “She also said the news about the case is ‘utter bullshite’.”

Sirius snorted a laugh. “She’s fab, I love her already.”

“Course you do,” Remus said. “I was never worried about you two getting on.”

"Breakfast?" Sirius asked, tipping his face up to give Remus his patented puppy dog eyes.

"I need a shower first. I think my sweat has crystallized," Remus said.

Sirius snorted a laugh. "I think mine has too, but you can go first if you want. When you come visit me, we can conserve water. My shower is big enough for two."

Remus smirked. "You just want shower sex."

"Yeah, obviously," Sirius said. "You gonna shower first?"

"I guess," Remus said. He kissed Sirius on the forehead. "You can go back to sleep, if you want."

He slipped out of bed and went to shower. When he came back, Sirius was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed with his phone. He looked up as Remus came in and shut the door, grinning and nearly vibrating in place.

"Moony! I totally forgot to tell you," Sirius said. Remus raised a questioning brow, hanging his towel on the back of the door. "I have a new song, we're releasing it on Friday."

"Yeah? Do I get a preview?"

"Of course! I have it on my phone. Technically, I'm the featured artist. I wrote it with my opener, Aoife, while we were on tour. She was missing her soulmate and you and I were really starting to talk. And we wrote this, but we only started recording once we got back to London. She's really great, so I hope it will boost her profile a bit." He passed the phone over. "You can listen while I shower." He pressed a quick kiss to Remus's cheek. Then he hopped up from the bed and headed into the bathroom.

Remus plugged in his headphones and tapped play on the track Sirius had saved on his phone. He found the title fitting already, 'Fuck, I'm Lonely.'

Aoife crooned over the soft, almost ambient electronic music. He could hear the resigned sadness in the lyrics, despite the mostly upbeat tempo. In the second verse, Sirius came in, his soft, low voice a perfect counterpoint to Aoife's higher one.

" _And all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone_ ," Sirius's voice crooned through Remus's headphones. " _So sorry if I say some things I mean_." Remus snorted half a laugh. Sirius had definitely written that line. About writing to Remus, probably.

He liked this song a lot. It wasn't exactly Sirius's usual fare, but their vocal styles really meshed and it was a bop.

The song finished and Remus played it again, without his headphones, while he got dressed in his most comfortable jeans and coziest jumper.

Sirius came back into the room, drying his hair with his towel. "So? What did you think?"

"It's good, I really like it."

"Isn't Aoife fantastic?"

Remus nodded. "Her voice is beautiful."

"She's super sweet too, and a laugh to write with."

"I could totally tell that you wrote some lines," Remus chuckled.

Sirius laughed, crawling up into Remus's lap as he lazily sang, " _Sorry if I say some things I mean_."

Remus grinned and wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist. He kissed Sirius. Then nipped his lower lip and slipped his tongue in when Sirius sighed. Sirius curled his arms around Remus's shoulders, leaning into the kiss. He let himself get carried away. Kissing Remus was as natural as breathing, even though it took his breath away. Sirius moaned as Remus held him closer and started kissing down his jaw. He ground down and raked a hand through Remus's curls.

"We should stop," Sirius gasped, "before we get too riled up."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Remus said, detaching his lips from the love bite he was making on Sirius's neck.

"Well, I'm very on board with sex before breakfast if you are, but I feel like we should probably eat." Sirius shrugged. "I mean, it's Sunday, so we can come back and shag all afternoon if we want."

Remus snorted a laugh. "We could, but breakfast first. Get dressed."

Sirius kissed him quickly and climbed out of his lap to pull on another pair of ridiculously tight jeans, these ones worn thin and hugging every curve.

"Fuck," Remus muttered. "I think I changed my mind." Sirius laughed. "Really, c'mere." At his urging, Sirius stepped into the vee of Remus's legs. "God, your arse in these jeans. I almost don't want to take you outside." He palmed Sirius's arse, kneading it and making Sirius tip his head down for another kiss.

"If you wait until after breakfast, it's all yours," Sirius said.

Remus hummed in consideration. "How about now and after? I don't think I can wait." He tugged Sirius back down into his lap, kneading his arse with both hands as he went back to nibbling on his neck. Sirius moaned and gripped Remus's hair. Then Remus trailed his lips down to just where his neck met his collarbone and started to lick and bite and kiss.

"Oh! Oh fuck, Moony." He rolled his hips and Remus rolled his to meet him, guiding their rhythm with the hands on his arse. "Please don't stop."

A hummed no, then one hand left Sirius's arse to unbutton his jeans. The opening was tight, but Remus got his hand in and wrapped around Sirius's length. He pulled him off slowly, matching pace with their grinding hips. Over his head, Sirius gasped and moaned. As he got closer and closer, he tried to speed up, but Remus squeezed his arse tightly, urging him to maintain the same steady rhythm. He whimpered at the tight hand stopping his hips, but moaned as the one on his cock swiped across the head.

"Oh," Sirius gasped. "Moony!" He came over Remus's hand and his own chest. Remus grabbed a few tissues to clean them up and helpfully tucked Sirius back into his pants. Sirius slid himself slightly back and reached down to unbutton Remus's jeans.

"I'm fine," Remus said unconvincingly.

"I can feel how hard you are," Sirius said. "I'll get you off and then we can go eat, yeah?"

"Alright," Remus agreed.

Then Sirius's hand was sliding into his pants and stroking his cock, while his lips were on Remus's. He kept his strokes firm and steady, just as Remus had, adding as much of a twist to his wrist as he could given their position and clothes. Remus had his hand curled tightly in Sirius's hair. It didn't take long to bring Remus to the edge. He'd already been more than halfway there from their snogging and grinding as he got Sirius off.

Remus garbled a warning as he moaned and came. Sirius caught his release in a tissue and tossed it behind him into the bin. He kissed Remus one more time and climbed out of his lap to finish getting dressed.

"I think we did this backwards," Remus said.

"Huh?"

"Pretty sure most people start with grinding and half clothed handjobs, and _then_ make their way up to shagging."

Sirius snorted. "When have we ever been normal?"

"Fair point."

"Normal is just a setting on the dryer, angel. And I, for one, was never going to turn out normal."

"And I wouldn't have you any other way," Remus said, stopping him before he went down the family-full-of-nutters route.

Sirius finished tying his hair up and put his glasses on. "I love you."

"Love you too," Remus said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Drop me a kudos or comment and let me know what you thought, or if there's anything you'd like to see or songs you think might work. I've got a bunch, but I'm always happy to get suggestions and music recs (if nothing else, it strokes my writerly ego that you're engaged, lol)
> 
> clandestine_meetings mentioned wanting to see Benjy meet Sirius and Remus together and I actually had the same thought when I was writing this (way back like 3-4 months ago when I actually wrote this part), so I hope it was enjoyable!
> 
> Also, re: Marlene and Remus both being in Lily's wedding party and not knowing each other. I know it seems a little odd, esp with them both being at the same uni, but the last time I was in a wedding (for someone in a diff city) I didn't meet the bridesmaids I didn't already know until the week of the wedding. Lily's just very busy and it slipped her mind that they both go there.
> 
> Quotes/Songs Referenced:  
> 1\. Sirius's comment about writing a song about "wanting to suck [Remus] off" is a sort of joke based on a behind the song type thing from Hozier. Apparently some people interpreted a lyric from Take Me to Church as a reference to oral sex, when that particular line (he didn't say which) wasn't one. So he wrote Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) in response, as a 'here's a reference to oral sex for you'. I personally found this hilarious, so that's why Sirius references that
> 
> 2\. fuck, i'm lonely is by Lauv feat. Anne-Marie, though I have genderswapped the duet parts


	5. October Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad goodbyes and a month spent apart, but so much sap it'll make your teeth rot.
> 
> Also bonus content at the end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time has lost all meaning. Weeks slid by with little understanding of dates and the inevitable passage of time. tl;dr I have quarantine brain and every time I thought about updating I somehow managed to not do it.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to commenter tarebear413 whose lovely comment kicked my ass into gear. I hope this helps with your fic withdrawal dear!! <3
> 
> Warning for Walburga's homophobic BS, but also Sirius claps back and refutes it like the champ he is
> 
> And because I've been away for so long, there are some goodies at the end for you all to enjoy!

Monday morning came too soon. Remus’s alarm went off long before either of them wanted to get out of bed, but Remus knew if he didn’t get up he wouldn’t get a shower before class, let alone breakfast. Sirius showered quickly right after him, coming back from the bathroom without his contacts in, despite insisting he preferred to drive in them. A frown was already etched deeply in the furrow of his brows and he sniffled quietly as he packed his duffel.

It broke Remus’s resolve.

“I don’t want you to go,” he whispered. “I wish you could just stay another...week or month or…” Sirius sniffed louder this time. The lack of contacts suddenly made sense. “C’mere.” Sirius dropped his bag and flung himself into Remus’s arms.

“I don’t want to go either. But I’ll distract you from school,” Sirius said, like he’d rehearsed it. Like he was trying to convince himself.

“One more night?”

“I shouldn’t,” Sirius said. “I was going to leave yesterday so you could read for your class today.”

Remus shrugged as he buried his face in Sirius’s hair. “I know what I said about being distracted, but I don’t care right now. I just don’t want to be apart.”

Sirius nodded. “I’m not good at being the sensible one, Moony. Don’t make me remind you why I should go. Because I’ll say fuck it and just stay here with you until June.”

“That’d be nice,” Remus sighed. “I’d probably be less distracted after like a week or two of seeing you everyday.”

“You have to go to class today and I have to go show my face in London. I’ll have to appear in court soon anyway.”

“Alright.” He pulled back and kissed Sirius deeply. “Let’s get you all wrapped up to go.” He grabbed a grey hoodie from the top of his dresser and tugged it over Sirius’s head. It hung past his waist and the cuffs covered his hands, but he beamed up at Remus. “Adorable.” Sirius grinned despite his tears. “Get your glasses and make sure you haven’t forgotten anything, then I’ll walk you to your car before I go up the hill.”

Remus tied his shoes while Sirius checked that he hadn’t missed anything. Sirius grabbed his duffel and Remus shouldered his school backpack, then they headed out of the dorm hand in hand. Thankful that Sirius’s car was parked on a side street with little traffic, they stood beside it for several long, tearful minutes. Remus kissed him again, and again, kissing away his tears, even as his own fell. Then Sirius wrapped tight arms around Remus’s waist and nuzzled into his neck.

“I already miss you. My bed is gonna feel so empty,” Sirius said. “I’ve never minded sleeping alone before.”

“Me neither.”

“And I’ll miss your smile and the way you look at me when I’m being ridiculous.”

Remus kissed him just to make him stop. It hurt too much already to think of all the things he would miss after only a few short days together.

Sirius pulled back with a last peck. “Angel, can we skype sometimes until you come see me? And talk on the phone more? And keep writing? If we can’t be in the same place I still want to see your face and hear your voice.”

“You know my class schedule, you can call me anytime I’m not in class. If I can’t talk, I’ll tell you, but if you really need me I’ll go somewhere so I can talk to you. And we can definitely skype some nights if you want that.” Sirius nodded. “Okay, but now you have to go because I really need to catch a bus up the hill so I make my lecture.” Sirius rocked up on his toes and kissed Remus again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Sirius got into his car, swiping at his tears as he put it in gear and waved goodbye. Watching him go was like feeling something vital being pulled from his chest and dragged down the road behind the car. Remus sucked in a sharp, painful breath and put one foot in front of the other until he reached the bus stop. He didn’t realize he was still crying until the bus driver asked if he was okay. He shrugged and took a seat. As they drove up the hill, Remus swiped at his eyes. The next few days were going to be the hardest, he was sure of that, but this whole month was going to suck.

By the time class started, Remus was mostly dry-eyed, and functioning on pure determination and the extra large coffee in his hand. He would go to the library after class, he decided. He would do all his work for the week. No use sitting in his bedroom and smelling Sirius all over his sheets like a weepy romantic heroine.

After class, Remus checked his phone to see a text from Sirius.

 **Sirius  
** Stopped for a snack and to put my contacts in  
Miss you already

 **Remus  
** I just got out of lecture, tutorial in a bit  
Miss you too  
Drive safe

  
Remus’s phone lit up silently as he sat in the library later that afternoon. He opened Sirius’s message. It was a picture of him still in his car with the collar of Remus’s Aberystwyth hoodie pulled up so only his eyes were showing, though they were crinkled in a smile.

 **  
Sirius  
**Back in London, not crying anymore but still miss you

 **Remus  
** I’m in the library, also not crying  
Also miss you  
And you look too adorable like that, so you’re my new lock screen

 **Sirius  
**Sap, I love you

 **Remus  
** Love you too  
I gotta work, but I’ll write later

  
Less than an hour later, a notification that Sirius had posted on instagram popped up on Remus’s phone. He tapped it to see what he was up to. It was a set of photos from their weekend, the first being a cute selfie of them on Consti on Friday, though not the one of Remus kissing him. One was of their dinner on Sunday night. One of them with Marlene and Dorcas at the party on Saturday. And the final photo was the one he’d sent Remus only a little while earlier.

The caption read: 'The news is shit, but I had a perfect weekend with my soulmate and his friends. And now I can rep his uni anytime I want.'

Remus liked the post and shared it to his chat with Lily.

 **  
Remus  
**Why does he have to be so goddamn cute?

 **Lily  
**Omfg you two are stupidly made for each other

 **Remus  
** Obv  
It hasn’t even been 8hrs and I wanna get on the train so I can cuddle him more

 **Lily  
**Gross, you’re still in that phase

 **Remus  
** We’re getting 1 weekend a month until Christmas break  
So you should get used to it  
We might be gross until June

 **Lily  
** ::puking face::  
Cute though

  
Then Remus switched apps to text Sirius.

 **  
Remus  
** Stop being cute  
You’re giving me heart palpitations in the library

 **Sirius  
**Is that all I’m giving you?

 **Remus  
**No, but I’m not sexting you in the library

 **Sirius  
**Will you go home and we can skype?

 **Remus  
** Not at this exact moment, but later yes  
Is it killing you to be apart as much as it’s killing me?

 **Sirius  
** Yeah, but more desperate now, less weepy  
I’m in bed wearing your hoodie and I want you here so bad it hurts  
Like, even just to sleep, I just want to be in your arms  
And actually telling you that hurts a lot too

 **Remus  
** Yeah, it hurts to think about it  
I really want to hug you  
And see how you look in my hoodie and nothing else

 **Sirius  
**I mean, I can send you a picture

 **Remus  
** Oh god  
Yes please, but send it later  
Give me two hours to finish this and get home

 **Sirius  
**Okay, fair enough

* * *

Over the next week, Remus found himself hanging out and studying in his off time with Dorcas and Marlene, together and apart, and sometimes joined by Alice or Frank as well. He and Dorcas had always got on, ever since a shared history class in first year, but they hadn't been close up until now. But it almost surprised Remus how well he got on with Marlene. They couldn't study in the library because she enjoyed loud study breaks, but working in the union didn't bother Remus. It was the day Sirius's new song dropped that Remus realized why they were such easy friends.

They were in the union as usual, and Remus was doing prep work for an essay due Monday.

"Break time, Rem," Marlene declared. She pulled up Spotify. "Let's see what's new this week. Ohh, Aoife and Sirius put out a song!"

"I know," Remus smirked. "He played it for me last weekend."

"Ugh, soulmate privileges," she said. "Did he tell you we went to school with Aoife? She was a couple years ahead, sang in the choir, and I think he was always surprised that he took off before she did."

"Yeah, he hopes this song helps her. You should listen, it's really good."

She popped her headphones in and pressed play, bopping along to the beat. Then she played it again, dramatically singing along to " _sorry if I say some things I mean_."

Remus grinned. That was it. She was just female-Sirius. Her preferred power dynamic was a bit different and she wasn't as outwardly emotional as Sirius, unless it was with Dorcas. But their silly, dramatic personalities and tendencies toward noise and excitement were so similar. Like the way he meshed with James, but slightly different, even though all of them had a penchant for mischief.

"That's brill, I love it," she said. She pulled up Twitter.

  
**Marlvelous** 2:38pm  
@siriusly @aoifesvoice The new song is fab!!! Love you both!

  
**AoifesVoice** 2:40pm  
@marlvelous @siriusly Thanks Marls! Hope ur doing well in Wales and hope to see you in London in Dec!

"Hey, we should work on planning Lil's hen do," Marlene said.

"Weren't they going to have a combined hen and stag party? That was the last I heard. On the Friday before the wedding so we'll all be there." Marlene nodded. "James also wants to call it the stag and doe party for the deer pun."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Of course he does. I guess we have to humour the bride and groom."

Remus smirked, and said, "Sirius will love it just as much, unfortunately." Marlene snorted a laugh. "I was thinking like dinner, then something fun and sort of chill before we go out, if we decide to go out properly."

"Actually, yeah, that sounds really good. Something chill but boozy," she agreed. Her eyes widened a moment later. "Oh! You know what would be good? One of those boozy painting things! Like a private one just for the bridal party. They're a laugh and we'll all get nicely sozzled, taking the piss out of each other, then we go out and get drunk and spend Saturday hungover before the wedding on Sunday."

"Yes," Remus said. "That's perfect, I'll look into doing one in a pub in London. I can call and make the reservations. Or Sirius and I can go in person next month when I'm there."

"Brill, stag and doe party sorted." Remus rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. "Text Padfoot and see what he thinks."

 **  
Remus  
**Marls and I are working on the stag and doe party

 **Sirius  
**Did James pick the name?

 **Remus  
**Obv

 **Sirius  
** LOL  
But go on

 **Remus  
** We're thinking Friday  
Dinner  
Then one of those boozy painting lessons  
Then clubbing

 **Sirius  
** Oh that'd be fun!  
Everyone would like it  
Plus plenty of booze  
I think a pub in our neighbourhood does it  
I can ask and we can book a party room or something?

 **Remus  
** That'd be great!  
I was gonna google and call around

 **Sirius  
** You prob still should, but I'll get their info too  
We should book early

 **Remus  
** Exactly what we were thinking  
Btw Marls loved the song

 **Sirius  
** I saw her tweet =)  
You know Aoife and I are singing the first dance song, right?

 **Remus  
**No, I didn't

 **Sirius  
** Shhh, it's a surprise since I told them I would handle the band  
which I did  
But they're inviting Aoife  
So I asked if she'd sing a duet I'm arranging for the song they chose

 **Remus  
**Which is?

 **Sirius  
** Ingrid Michaelson  
The Way I Am

 **Remus  
**Oh, good choice Lily

 **Sirius  
**Exactly what Prongs said

 **Remus  
**Lol, did he forget about the 'start losing all your hair' line?

 **Sirius  
** LMAO  
Probably. Lil def didn't

* * *

On Saturday, Marlene sat down across from Remus and Alice at their pre-study lunch and set a copy of the school paper on the table, folded open to the culture section. Dorcas dropped down beside her, flashing a smile at them as she opened her salad.

"The twerp strikes again," Marlene said. She poked the paper roughly.

Remus pulled the paper toward them and they read as they continued to eat. The furrow between his brows deepened the further he read.

'Last weekend a special guest arrived at a house party down the hill thrown by several AU third year students. Singer Sirius Black, whose album I reviewed in the second to last issue of spring term, joined the party when it was already underway. He was not easily recognizable in the dark, and few attendees noticed the celebrity in their midst.

'Black joined several students in drinking a strong, alcoholic punch before ending up on the dancefloor. He was never alone in dancing that I saw. There was always someone wrapped around him, as evidenced by the picture I was able to take of the dancefloor.

'His presence in Aberystwyth raises many questions. Why was he in town? Did he just choose a sleepy university town to get away from the negative news in London? Will he be back?

'No matter the answers, he's certainly given our little corner of the UK a moment to shine. We are the place he's chosen to return to the fun of university that he chose to leave.'

The blurry, dark photo showed Sirius dancing and looking up at Remus, who was wrapped around his back with his arms around his waist. Knowing who Remus was, it was a sweet, practically expected, picture. But as a nameless partygoer, less so.

"What a fucking twerp," Remus growled. Alice’s expression darkened as she nodded in agreement.

* * *

Remus rolled his eyes as another dozen tweets pinged his alert for news about Sirius. They were all retweeting Benjy’s tiny article in the ‘Culture’ section of the school paper that ‘Sirius Black parties at Aber last weekend’, and adding their hopes that he would come party at their university. Sirius’s publicist wanted to ignore it because it was a school paper and even the spread on Twitter had been pretty minimal so far, but Sirius was itching to clap back that he was dancing with his soulmate, thanks very much. It was only the second day since the article had come out and Remus fully expected it to get worse. But it also confused him how people didn’t realize he’d gone to that party with Remus since his instagram post the previous week mentioned they’d spent all weekend together.

Then Marlene said exactly that, retweeting the article likely out of the same irritation Remus felt.

  
**Marlvelous** 2:43pm  
Replying to thread  
>@MusicEd_Benjy Basic reasoning anyone? @siriusly spent all wkd with his soulmate. Pics on IG. Same bloke he's dancing with. You vultures.

  
The attention changed after that. People who didn't even go to his uni chimed in to tell Benjy he should fact check his stories because Sirius had posted before the article was published and his pictures showed that Remus went there. It didn't exactly go viral, but after a few days it got to a point where Sirius felt like saying something to stop it.

  
**siriusly** 3:02pm  
I appreciate the support, and you are correct, but I think he's learned his lesson. Time to lay off.

  
They mostly let Benjy's article go after that. But not the subject in general. It just shifted to constant wondering on one of the student Facebook pages about who he was. He read a lot of the comments, but more for their hilarity than to see if they were right. Sirius wasn't concerned so neither was he. All this proved was that Sirius had been right before. His face was as clear and big as Sirius's in his post. And they still mostly didn't know who he was.

**Aber Student News  
**MASTER POST: Comment your thoughts, debate (politely), post what you know! Who is Sirius Black’s soulmate? Photo here: <Siriusly on Instagram>

> **Seren Jones  
** Gotta be a music student, right?  
>> **Dylan Collins  
**>>Probably, tho I haven’t seen him around the dept

> **Mari Smith  
** He has to be Welsh, yeah? Why else would he come here? It’s mostly Welsh kids and soulmates of Welsh kids...  
>> **Rosie Driscoll  
**>>Good point! I mean, other people go here, but that’s most likely

> **Tomos Price  
** I def saw him at Jac Hawthorn’s rugby party  
>> **Arthur Morgansen  
** >>Did you talk to him? Find out anything?  
>> **Tomos Price  
** >>Nah, it was before the post, didn’t know who he was  
>> **Cai Newton  
** >>Mate, I swear I saw him at that UMCA party last week  
>> **Ifan Davies  
** >>Makes sense! Posts above make a good point that he’s probs Welsh  
>> **Arthur Morgansen  
**>>Doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a Welsh speaker, but maybe

> **Cadi Newton  
** Maybe we should ask @Marlene McKinnon? She did recognize him in the article  
>> **Marlene McKinnon  
**>>Kindly leave me the FUCK out of this insanity

  
Several threads of people were sure he had to be a music student, because of course they both had to be musicians. Others insisted they'd seen him at various parties he definitely hadn't been at. And the general conclusion, the only correct one, was that he was Welsh.

Remus screenshotted a few of the threads and sent them to Sirius because they entertained him. Including Marlene’s, which was followed by about a dozen people laughing at her response. Sirius sent back plenty of laughing emojis and said he was making notes so Remus could confirm or deny their theories when his name came out.

* * *

The Monday before Halloween, Remus was reading in the kitchen when Caradoc came in with his laptop and a sour expression. He set it on the table in front of Remus.

"His mother's a piece of work," Caradoc grumbled.

"What?" Remus asked, confused by the sudden conversation.

"You haven't seen this yet then?" He gestured to the screen. On it, a video of Walburga Black speaking to reporters was paused at the beginning. Remus shook his head. "Just, prepare to be angry."

"Plenty of practice," Remus huffed. Then he pressed play.

"Yes, I've seen the photos he seems so proud of with this _boy_ who claims to be his soulmate. He is nothing but a leech, trying to gain fame and status from my son and my family. At least now I can understand what led our son to say such horrible things about our parenting. He has been under the influence of this boy and the disgusting, homosexual agenda," she said.

A reporter chimed in. "Will you be dropping the defamation suit?"

"No," she replied. "He must learn his lesson and understand who to trust. He must begin to understand that our family is the only trustworthy presence in his life."

"But he can't marry his family," another reporter said.

Walburga sniffed haughtily. "Soulmates between distant cousins have been common in my family for generations. This _boy_ will learn that Sirius is merely confused and leave him alone or he will hear from our associates. Soulmates are never homosexual. And my son has been made aware of this since he was a child. This _boy_ has led him astray and I will not stand for it. If you recognize him, I encourage you to inform the media or contact the Black family publicist immediately so we may have some strong words with him."

"What the actual fuck is she talking about, Remus?" Caradoc asked. "It sounds like she's trying to track you down and get rid of you so she can marry him off."

"That's exactly what she's trying to do. Do you have a pen on you? I’ve only got a pencil." Caradoc passed it over without a word.

_Don't listen to a goddamn thing she says. I don't care what she thinks of me, and it doesn't matter what she says about me. Let half the university dox me. The only thing I care about is you. I love you more than anything._

Remus expected a message back, but his phone started ringing instead.

"Sweetheart?" Remus answered.

"You're the sweetest person ever. Do you have an alert on my name or something? I only just saw it."

"I do actually," Remus said. "But Caradoc saw it and showed me just a minute ago. My first thought was to check on you. I know how her words get to you sometimes."

"Well I've been hearing her homophobic bullshit for years and it barely registers anymore. Even when I was too scared to even know your name, it wasn't because I believed her. She just had power over me. But I don't belong to her anymore."

"No, you're mine." Sirius sighed contentedly in his ear. "I do find it interesting that she only sees you as her son when it's convenient in public."

"She's always been like that. She'd call me Orion's son when I misbehaved," Sirius said.

"We won't do that to our kids," Remus said.

"You really want them? I know you weren't sure."

"I do, I want a nice little family with you. But not for a bit. Dog first."

Sirius giggled and it set Remus at ease. "It's gonna be perfect, angel. James and Lily will make sure they have plenty of cousins. Even if Reg doesn't want anything to do with us."

"That's his loss, love, though I am sorry. He really hasn't said anything to you?"

"He just keeps telling the press that my mother believes what she believes. He won't publicly agree with her, but he won't disagree with her either. I don't know what he thinks anymore."

"I'm sorry, but at least you don't have to listen to him spouting that same bullshit."

"I guess. So, Moony, how early can you come this week?"

"The earliest train I can get after class is at 3:30, so 8:30ish. But if you're telling me that you need me, I can email my lecturers and see what I can do."

"You'd do that?"

"There's not much I wouldn't do for you, Padfoot."

"I hate to ask if you could come a little earlier on Thursday. Though I could really use some extra Moony time. I'm still a little sad you won't be here for Halloween."

"I shouldn't take that much time off unless it's really an emergency, but I can probably skip class on Thursday and get a morning train. Then I'll get there early afternoon, is that better?"

"Yeah," Sirius breathed. "I hate to sound needy and awful, but just knowing you're coming a few hours earlier lifts a weight off my chest. It makes me feel better."

"Good. Only three more days until I can kiss you."

Sirius whimpered. "Are you gonna make me wait until we get to my flat?"

Remus chuckled darkly. "Depends on how many paps are in your face."

"I don't care. I don't think I can wait."

"Then I'll kiss you the second I see you and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off. You know I don't have time for that homophobic nonsense."

"I love you." Surius sighed. "My publicist keeps bugging me about a statement so I have to go, but I'll see you on Thursday."

"Thursday."

"And don't wash off what you wrote, I need it to prove a point."

Remus snorted. "Drama queen."

"You love it."

"I do indeed. Now, stop being cute so I can do homework and be ready to give you my undivided attention all weekend."

"Yes, angel," Sirius laughed.

Sirius's statement appeared through his publicist only an hour later. It was full of restrained, precise anger. Remus scrolled down to the addition to the article.

'"Soulmates, as evident for centuries, occur between people of every sexuality and gender identity. My mother's statement is demonstrably false according to multiple well-researched studies. It is shameful, and damaging to vulnerable members of the LGBTQ+ community, of which I and my soulmate are a part. He got me through a lot of hard times and we genuinely love and adore one another. Our relationship isn't about Walburga Black or my old, titled family. It's about the two of us loving and supporting each other," Black's statement through his publicist reads. This author agrees with him. It's 2018, people. Well past time to stop entertaining bigoted views just because someone has money.

'As always, this story will be updated as events progress.'

Not twenty minutes later, a notification popped up that Sirius had posted a video. Remus tapped it. His video statements were always more him than the official ones.

Sirius sat in a dining chair, his small kitchen dimly lit behind him. A mug of tea sat half out of frame. Dark hair cascaded around his shoulders, framing his face. He was wearing Remus's hoodie.

"Hey mates," he opened as he always did. "It's all going a bit sideways, isn't it?" He huffed a short, sharp laugh. "I mean, I guess I started it a few weeks ago when I posted all those pictures."

Remus gritted his teeth, hissing, " _She_ started it," under his breath.

"I can practically hear my soulmate reminding me that I did nothing wrong, but it was still the start. I just couldn't help myself. I spent all weekend with him and it was amazing and I wanted to share. And then the thing with the school paper happened." He smirked at his own private pettiness. "But I don't need to defend my choice to celebrate being in love with cute pictures. I need to say that soulmates don't enforce heterosexuality. And they aren't even always romantic. Mine is, very definitely, but not everyone's. And my birth-giver is just wrong. And she's so wrong about my soulmate. He's my angel, and he's never minded that I'm more of a sauntering vaguely downward type." He winked. "Let me show you the first thing he did when he saw her press conference." Sirius pulled up his sleeve and flashed Remus's words at the camera. "Making sure I was okay was his first thought. _He_ is the most trustworthy presence in my life, not that family and certainly not her.

“Imagine hearing that drivel your whole childhood, knowing all the while that every crush you'd ever had was on someone of your own gender. You don't have to believe me. There's plenty of footage online for years of her and my father saying that sort of thing." He huffed out a breath. "I mean, it's 2018. Two men being soulmates in a loving relationship shouldn't be a political statement. It's just normal. Not the majority, sure, but still normal." He ran a tired hand through his hair. "I hope the press learns what I did as a teenager: when she starts going on about sexuality, just tune her out. Anyway, that's all I've got. I'm going to go lay in bed and look for a new flat for me and my angel to move into," he glanced around theatrically, "because this is a little small for a petite prince charming, an ent, and the big ball of fluff we're going to adopt."

Remus chuckled fondly as Sirius waved goodbye and the video looped back. He liked it reflexively and scrolled through the comments. There were a lot of positive ones, especially from people thanking him for speaking out. And a lot of funny ones commenting on both his Good Omens reference and his height joke. James had left about a dozen hearts with a quick "love you mate", but it was Marlene's that caught his eye.

  
**Marlvelous  
** I see you stole his hoodie =P  
> **siriusly  
** He *gave* it to me, Marls. Wrapped me in it before I left, still smells like him <3  
>> **Marlvelous**  
>>You two are such saps

  
Remus liked her comment before switching over to text Lily.

 **  
Remus  
**Even when he's righteous and upset he's too cute

 **Lily  
** I will vomit on you  
I'm guessing there's a reason he's suddenly prince charming and you're an ent

 **Remus  
** Inside joke from the summer  
I'm proud of him though, he's come a long way

 **Lily  
** He has  
And I'm sure he'll feel better when you're there with him

 **Remus  
**So will I

* * *

**Bonus Chapter Content: Cover Art for Sirius's album 'Broken Hallelujah' plus track list and playlist**

[Photo of Westminster Abbey credit to ktanakachurch, photo of artist Billy Rafoul from promo shots, editing by me]

[Image of different side of Westminster Abbey credit to Aude at wts q373, editing by me, songs referenced by cited artists]

  
**Broken Hallelujah Tracklist:**

1\. Take Me to Church (orig. by Hozier)  
2\. Hallelujah (orig. by Panic! at the Disco)  
3\. Foreigner's God (orig. by Hozier)  
4\. Quarter Past Midnight (orig. by Bastille)  
5\. It Will Come Back (orig. by Hozier)  
6\. Seventeen (orig. by Troye Sivan)  
7\. Out on the Town (orig. by Fun.)  
8\. Sedated (orig. by Hozier)  
9\. Too Good (orig. by Troye Sivan)  
10\. Hum Hallelujah (orig. by Fall Out Boy)  
11\. Impossible Year (orig. by Panic! at the Disco)  
12\. Heaven (orig. by Troye Sivan)  
13\. Cherry Wine (orig. by Hozier)

Bonus Tracks  
14\. I Wanna Be Free (orig. by Panic! at the Disco)  
15\. Revelation (orig. by Troye Sivan)

Playlists for the album: below or link [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5DAdM81x3QNYeDwKD1PFyT?si=Q5ucsp-gRmC6Q-ZobCeP7g)

Playlist for the fic overall (includes album and future albums) below or link [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/33CRfIhJjJPk77RDZmo1zx?si=VWkPWAeUTNeQW7Yu7TrxVg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed and I hope you'll enjoy the playlists I've left for you. I've already put together a 4-song EP and another full length album for Sirius to release, and the playlists for them will be 'released' along with future chapters of the fic. But those songs are already included, along with a bunch of others, in the fic playlist.
> 
> Shout out to The_Silent_Narrator, who recommended "I'm Not a Saint" by Billy Raffoul many moons ago in a comment on this fic. Expect to see it released by Sirius in the future, but also the artist looks Sirius-esque and I used a promo pic of him as Sirius on the album cover. So thank you very much, dear reader!!
> 
> As always, your comments and kudos and continued readership mean the world to me, and your recommendations and suggestions are incredibly lovely and much appreciated!


	6. Wherever You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus arrives in London. There is merch, some smut, and a someone unexpected sends a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear friends! I come bearing another chapter. I actually got some good writing done today, with great character background and bridging between when I'd ended and some things further along that I'd already written.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the first chapter of Sirius's birthday weekend in London. There are a few more to come just from that weekend.

Remus arrived in London much the same as he had that summer. But this time, he knew Sirius would be meeting him at the station and they'd take the tube back to his flat together.

According to a quick text from Sirius, there was only one paparazzo at the station and he actually seemed pretty nice. So he shouldn't worry. His train pulled into the station and Remus grabbed his duffel from the rack before heading toward the concourse as fast as he could. As he rounded the corner and the concourse opened up ahead of him, he saw Sirius standing around, chatting to a blond bloke who had an easy smile across his massively square jaw. Sirius's hair was down, falling to the shoulders of his leather jacket, under which he'd worn his blue Aberystwyth jumper. And he was right, he did look great. Cool in the easiest, most casual of ways. Then he saw Remus and all illusions of cool vanished.

"Moony!" he cried, sprinting right into Remus's waiting arms. Remus squeezed him tight, then pulled one hand away from his waist to slide into Sirius's hair. He pulled back just enough to angle his head to kiss him. And it was a good kiss. Not too indecent for public, but full of a month's worth of longing.

"Hi sweetheart," Remus said when he pulled back. Sirius was still wrapped tightly around his front. "I take it you missed me as much as I missed you."

"It was awful, Moony. But I'm so happy you're here now." He pecked Remus on the lips again. "Come meet my new friend." Then he dragged Remus by the hand over to the paparazzo he'd been talking to. "This is Pod and he's a brilliant photographer."

Remus reached out to shake his hand.

"The pap thing is just to pay the bills," Pod said. "Just until my wedding photography gets off the ground."

"Seems like two very different jobs," Remus said.

Pod shrugged. "Eh, not as much as you'd think. You want it to look right without staging and be as real as possible. It's just different emotions you're trying to emphasize. I'm pants at getting scandalous shots, which is why they’ve dropped me here everyday this week to catch it if you were coming for Sirius's birthday."

"Oh, speaking of," Sirius said, "can I see the shots you got?"

Pod turned the camera around and flipped through them. They were actually really good, well framed, and emotion poured out of them.

"Oh this one is so sweet," Sirius said. "Do I really look at you like that?"

"All the time," Remus said soppily.

"I won't sell that one, but I'll email it to you if you want it," Pod said.

"That'd be amazing," Sirius said. "Oh, do you have a card for your wedding photography?"

"I'm sure we'll have a job for you eventually," Remus said.

Pod chuckled good-naturedly and pulled out a few cards. "If you have any friends who are looking for a photographer in London." Remus looked down at the card.

 _  
Sturgis Podmore Event Photography  
_ _Weddings • Engagements • Graduations • Parties  
_ _info@podmorephotos.co.uk_

  
Sirius grinned. "Definitely mate. It was good to meet you, we'll see you around." Pod returned the sentiment and Sirius pulled Remus toward the tube.

"Don't James and Lily have a photographer already?" Remus asked, having recognized the excitement in Sirius's voice.

"He's a flake, but they're worried about finding someone else with only like six weeks to go." Remus nodded. "Are you hungry? I thought we could go home and order in. Then maybe just stay on the sofa or in bed all day. I had some listings I wanted to show you, too."

"Wherever you are is perfect, but yes, ordering lunch sounds great."

The short train ride and walk to Sirius's flat passed in a rush of tightly clasped hands and a few furtive looks from the people around them. Sirius made a point of acting unbothered, but he held Remus's hand tighter when someone watched them for too long.

They kicked off their shoes and hung up their jackets as they came inside. Then Remus had his arms full of Sirius again and they were kissing as Remus walked them to the sofa. He pulled Sirius down into his lap and they lost a delightful quarter of an hour. Only when Remus's stomach rumbled did Sirius pull back with a bright laugh.

"Are you hungry like the wolf?" Sirius teased.

"Ugh, name puns when I'm hungry. That's just kicking a man when he's down."

Sirius giggled again and pulled a stack of takeaway menus from a drawer in the coffee table. When they decided on Thai, Sirius called it in and flopped back down into Remus's lap facing away from him. He tucked his head under Remus's chin once he hung up.

"Take a picture with me," Sirius pouted up at him. Remus didn't need convincing, just pressed a kiss to the side of his head as he snapped a picture, smiled for the second, and tried to get Sirius to giggle again for the third.

He posted the smiling one, insisting that the others were only for them, and Remus agreed.

  
 **Siriusly** 1:48pm  
Best birthday present EVER!!!

  
Their lunch hadn't even arrived yet when Marlene commented.

  
 **Marlvelous  
** You gonna unwrap him?  
> **Siriusly**  
Obv ;)

  
They got a few irritated messages from James and Lily for not telling them that Remus was coming early, but overall it was a quiet afternoon. That had been their agreement when they planned the events. One afternoon and evening only for each other. They would stay in and snuggle. Which was exactly what they did. They traded lazy kisses as something random played on the telly and Sirius showed Remus a few listings he'd bookmarked on his laptop. Despite their desperate snog before lunch, neither felt the need to interrupt their slow, lazy afternoon. The need to be close hadn't been satisfied yet and any sex they had right now would be too desperate to slide easily back into this feeling of slow contentment. Later, when their cuddles had eased the separation, it would be a different story.

“Oh!” Sirius said, perking up suddenly. “I have merch for you.” He hopped off the sofa and pulled a box off one of the dining chairs. “Anything you want out of here. But I picked out a few that I thought you’d really like. You can have it all, if you want it, though.” Remus smiled at him, tugging Sirius back down onto the sofa so they could go through it. “I just think this is really you and you’d look great in it. Plus, super comfy.” He held up a black pullover with line art of the album cover on the front.

“Yes, definitely. I love this,” Remus said, taking it and folding it in his lap. “What else?”

“Patches, I thought you could put one on your jacket?” Remus nodded and they went on the pile. “There’s a zip up with the tour art on it, but I know you have plenty of hoodies.”

“Hey, I gave you a hoodie, now you’re giving me one. It’s perfect.”

A pleased smile crossed Sirius’s face. “I’ve got t-shirts in various designs and a singlet because we toured the whole summer and a hat.” Remus glanced at the shirts and took his two favourites: a tee with the tour art and dates, and the singlet which read ‘siriusly?’ across the front. The hat was a slouchy, black knit cap with Canis Major stitched on the front in silver thread, the star Sirius larger than the rest and labelled. Remus loved it.

“This is perfect and I’m wearing it home,” Remus said. He pulled it on at just the right angle, making the back slouch as he fluffed his curls so they peeked out at the front.

“Oh my god, you look so fucking cute,” Sirius gushed. He swooped in to kiss Remus quickly. “I need pictures of you in that with the pullover later. Need to prove I’ve branded you. You’re mine.”

Remus snorted. “You’re such a possessive nerd,” he said. He pushed the box off the sofa and tugged Sirius into his lap. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Sirius murmured into his chest. “I’ve got a keychain for you too, but you can’t have it yet.”

“Alright, I won’t ask what you’re up to. Probably some grand dramatic gesture.”

“You know me so well.”

“Obviously. Soulmate,” Remus teased. After Remus set all his new things with his bag in the bedroom, they settled back on the sofa so he could continue giving Sirius opinions on flats.

A Friends rerun was playing when Sirius's phone went off with several Instagram notifications in a row. He had his notifications set minimally to only inform him about specific people, so it had to be a message or someone he cared about. Remus grabbed it from the coffee table and handed it to him.

 **  
Regulus  
** Hi, I know you probably don't want to speak to me and I don't blame you  
But I hope you'll read this  
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday  
And tell you that I don't agree with her, none of it  
This lawsuit is idiotic and I know she paid off the judge  
We dissected why it was stupid in class  
And I was dying to tell them all that you were telling the truth  
And I'd prefer to stay out of it, but if you really need my testimony, you have it  
I'd rather not burn that bridge just yet, but she shouldn't win  
When we were younger I was terrified  
I didn't believe her, but I didn't have the courage and support you do  
I'm sorry that I made you feel like I believed her bigoted nonsense  
But I'm glad you got out because you deserve to be happy

 **Sirius  
** Thanks Reggie  
I am happy now

 **Regulus  
** You look happy in your posts  
And you and your soulmate make a very cute couple  
Idk if you're in London or if you'd even want to see me

 **Sirius  
** Yes  
I'm in London and I do want to see you  
If it's safe for you

 **Regulus  
** Just don't call or text, they check the phone bill  
But this is fine, or whatsapp  
And I have friends, they won't object to me going out for a bit

 **Sirius  
** Would you want to come over for lunch tomorrow and meet Remus?

 **Regulus  
** You'd introduce me to him?  
After everything?

 **Sirius  
** You never stopped being my brother  
Come to lunch, I'll send you my address

 **Regulus  
** I'll be there  
Thank you for giving me another chance

  
Sirius was crying softly into Remus's shoulder when he finally set down the phone. He knew Remus had read it over his shoulder and would understand that he was just overwhelmed and tentatively happy. The fingers in his hair and the soft kisses on his forehead calmed him.

“He doesn’t hate me,” Sirius cried.

“Doesn’t seem like he ever did,” Remus whispered. He kissed Sirius’s forehead again. “It’s gonna be alright, sweetheart.” He held Sirius close until his tears stopped and his sniffles quieted, rubbing gentle circles on his back all the while. “What should we do for lunch tomorrow?”

“I could cook,” Sirius said. “He’ll never admit it, but he loves burgers. His friends all eat trendy shit and I’m sure it kills him inside.” Remus snorted. “His palate can’t have changed that much. When I still lived at home, he still secretly begged the cooks for cheese toasties and chicken nuggets whenever the parents were out.”

“I hope he eats vegetables now.”

“Oh he did then too, but he’s so weird. He’d happily eat toasties and brussel sprouts for dinner. Plate full of nuggets and carrot sticks instead of chips. He was like sixteen and that was his dinner of choice. We had a fully staffed kitchen. They made prime rib every Sunday if our parents were home. Orion had eggs benedict every morning. And Reg wanted nugs, frozen ones shaped like dinosaurs if he could get them.”

“He’s weird like you, then. A little different, but same flavour of odd.”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll make burgers, I have the stuff. I’d rather not trek out to the market.”

“You mean the Tesco two blocks away.”

“Yeah, I’d have to get out of bed and put on clothes earlier. This way we can have a lie in and a morning shag.”

Remus laughed. “I see you have your priorities in order,” he said.

“Mmhm, always make time for sex and cuddling with my Moony,” Sirius said.

“Stop being so cute,” Remus murmured into his hair. “Or I’ll have to take you to bed before dinner.”

Sirius looked up at him through his lashes. “Promise?”

Remus kissed him. “Such a tease.”

“I’ll make good on it if you take me to bed,” Sirius said, smiling and batting his lashes in overdramatic seduction.

Remus grinned and pulled him up from the sofa. “As you wish, my love.”

Once in the bedroom, Sirius had his clothes off as fast as possible. Remus threw his shirt onto his bag, unbuttoned his jeans, and sat on the side of the bed to pull them and his pants off along with his socks. Sirius grabbed the tangle of clothes as Remus kicked them off and dropped to his knees between Remus’s spread legs, stroking him to full hardness.

“Be honest,” Sirius said huskily. “How long have you wanted to put me on my knees?” He smirked up at Remus.

“Since you wrote me that poem,” Remus replied, knowing exactly what Sirius was referring to. He slid his fingers into Sirius’s hair and gripped. “You gonna find a different kind of worship, sweetheart? That what you’re after?” The teasing note in his voice was as gentle as a caress.

Sirius nodded, licking a stripe up Remus’s shaft. “Want you to show me how to worship you. ‘Cause I owe you my life more times over than any religion.” He pressed his hand against the one Remus had in his hair, squeezing so he knew he could pull and grab to his heart’s content. “Show me what you like.”

Remus, who’d only ever had Sirius’s mouth on him and only once when they were drunk in his dorm room, had to rely on the base desires in his gut and the fantasy that had been knocking around in his head since the night Sirius wrote that poem.

He pulled Sirius closer until his lips touched Remus’s cock. “Show me how much you love it,” he whispered. His hand still held Sirius’s hair back, thumb brushing baby hairs away from his temple. Sirius’s eyes fluttered shut and he mouthed at Remus’s cock, placing open mouthed kisses up and down the shaft, running his tongue gently over the underside, then more firmly under the head. He moaned softly and nuzzled into Remus’s thatch, forehead rubbing against his lower belly and lips sliding across the base of his cock.

“Want you, Moony,” Sirius whispered, so quiet Remus almost didn’t hear him.

“Go on then, show me.”

Sirius laved across his erection, using his hand to stroke the part of the length his mouth wasn’t on. His eyes met Remus’s and he pressed a wet, open kiss to the head of his cock, swiping his tongue across it and moaning at the feel of it. The hand in his hair tightened as Remus moaned and pulled him down until his cock slid past Sirius’s lips. He was heavy and thick on Sirius’s tongue and he hummed in pleasure. It was one of the things he’d always liked about sex, despite wishing it was Remus every time. Rather than pushing him all the way down — which would be hard but doable, because Sirius had definitely thought about whether he could take all of Remus’s considerable length — Remus pulled Sirius’s hair to tip his head back. Not enough for the first half of his length to slide out of Sirius’s mouth. Just enough so Sirius met his eye with every bob of his head.

It was the most emotionally intense feeling he could imagine.

“You like this, don’t you?” Remus asked, voice low and throaty. Sirius hummed a yes, not willing to stop to voice an answer. Remus’s thumb swept across his cheekbone. “You’re so perfect, so beautiful like this.” The skin under Remus’s thumb warmed as Sirius flushed. Remus was the only one who’d ever called him beautiful like he was describing a painting, not trying to get in his pants. Sirius continued to suck him with the same quiet intensity, pressing close and nuzzling in from time to time, working his own erection where he knelt between Remus’s feet.

It did feel worshipful. It felt sweet and gentle, as much from the way he touched Remus as the way Remus touched him. With hands and words, he was soft and sensual and loving. Sirius wanted to melt into the moment, to shake apart and let Remus’s sure fingers put him back together again, better than before. As a better, kinder person. Someone who could be cared for the way he was trying to care for Remus.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Remus moaned softly. His fingers tightened in Sirius’s hair. “I’m so close, baby.”

Sirius hummed happily. That was exactly what he wanted. He went back to the little tricks he learned watching Remus’s face for the last several minutes. A hum of pleasure as he stroked himself. A swipe of his tongue across the head. A short bob followed by a longer one as he kept eye contact. He swirled his tongue around the head again and pressed against the underside. Then Remus was coming, gripping his hair and moaning Sirius’s name. Sirius swallowed him down happily, stroking his length until he was wrung out.

“Come up here, please,” Remus said, flopping backwards onto the bed. Sirius half stood on stiff knees and crawled up to lay half on top of him. “That was wonderful and perfect. _You’re_ wonderful and perfect. Tell me what you want, love. Anything and it’s yours.”

Hands slid across Remus’s chest, just to feel him. “Will you suck me off? Or you could just kiss my neck and jerk me off, if you’d rather.”

“Why would I not want to give you what you’ve given me?” Remus asked, pressing soft kisses along the column of Sirius’s throat.

Sirius shrugged. “Not everyone likes doing that as much as I do.”

Remus kissed him. “I told you _anything_ you want. And I don’t know how much I’ll like it. I’ve never given anyone a blowjob before.”

“Being your first for so many things is way hotter than it has any right to be,” Sirius groaned.

“Possessive,” Remus chuckled. Then he tipped Sirius over and arranged himself between his thighs. He licked a stripe up Sirius’s cock, trying something Sirius had done in his dorm last month to see if he liked it as well. “Tell me then, what do you like?” He sucked the head into his mouth, laving over it with soft lips and tongue as he waited for Sirius’s response. Which took a while as he was consumed with moaning for a moment.

“Unnhhh, hold me down,” Sirius groaned. “Like, my hips, so I can’t move.” Remus’s spread lips pulled into half a smirk. He knew Sirius had a thing for Remus manhandling him. “And finger, ohhh, you can finger me while you, aahhh s’good, couple fingers, yeah.”

Both of those were very doable. So Remus planted his forearm on Siruis’s hip and held him in place. Sirius immediately stopped holding himself back, letting Remus control his hips’ movement. Remus continued to bob his head, running his tongue along the underside and pausing at the top to swirl around the head. He pulled off for a moment and sucked two of his own fingers into his mouth to get them slick, watching Sirius’s face the entire time. He whimpered in anticipation when Remus pulled the fingers from between his lips and dipped them between Sirius’s legs. He spread his thighs even farther.

Remus sucked the head of Sirius’s cock back between his lips at the same moment he slipped his first finger into him. Sirius keened and his hips strained against Remus’s arm even more. But Remus didn’t speed up, merely keeping pace and watching Sirius as he’d done.

“Oh fuck, angel, so good,” Sirius moaned. Remus’s second finger slid in beside the first, twisting and pressing as he laved Sirius’s cock with soft, insistent lips and tongue. “Moony, gonna come, please, I’m close.” Remus swirled his tongue again, sucked a little harder, pressed his fingers toward Sirius’s prostate. With a deep groan, Sirius came hard and Remus swallowed as he worked him through it. “Holy shit, Moony,” he panted. Remus pressed a kiss to his softening cock and slipped his fingers free, wiping them on a tissue from the nightstand. Then he curled around Sirius and kissed his cheek.

“I’ve decided I enjoy that very much,” Remus said.

“I’m glad,” Sirius sighed. “That might be the best blowjob I’ve ever had and I’m not above begging you for another.”

Remus hummed a laugh into his neck. “You won’t have to beg. Just drop a hint and I’ll be here. It’s amazing that I can make you feel like that.”

Sirius made a soft noise of agreement. “I’ve always liked that too. And I just like how it feels, like having you in my hand and my mouth. I could get off on sucking you off.”

“I saw you enjoying it,” Remus teased. “But I’m glad because I’m not above begging either.” Sirius laughed and curled in closer. “We should clean up and dress before we order dinner, but that can wait a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for all of your amazing comments on the last chapter! I finally got around to replying to them. Your investment in and love for this fic is so, so wonderful and it really encourages me to push past the distractions and muddled feel of quarantine to get this world in my head down into words for you all to enjoy.
> 
> The pullover Sirius gives Remus is actually based on a Hozier hoodie I have. It's pretty much the comfiest thing I have and it looks great. The rest of the merch is based on common themes of band merch, plus what I think would fit for Sirius (name puns, astronomy refs, etc.)
> 
> Much more to come, including house hunting! And baby brother!


	7. This House is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus comes for lunch, and the boys go house hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darling readers!  
> Thank you for all your comments and kind words checking that I'm okay. Rest assured, I'm doing well (though it looks like I'll be on the other side of a closed border from my mother for Christmas). It's be a weird time for me, creatively. I've started probably half a dozen new, unrelated things. On top of project managing and then being made full time at my job (benefits of working for a health company right now??).
> 
> The last few days have been productive though! So here's a chapter, with a few more waiting in the wings. My plan is to get the Christmas chapter up by New Years. Since I can't go home, I'll be spending the holiday season with all of you lovely people <3
> 
> The latter half of this chapter and most of the next are basically House Hunters: Wolfstar Edition. It's a bit fluffy and fun, like watching HGTV in a hotel room. I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you click through to see the listings. I made Internet Archive pages of them just for you because I looked them up months ago. EDIT: Thank you lcaaa for letting me know one link was broken, I've fixed it and added an extra because the house has been painted and is still for sale!

Just before noon, there was a knock at the door. Sirius was in the kitchen, so Remus answered it. It was almost definitely Regulus anyway. When he opened the door, a slightly taller, slightly thinner version of Sirius stood in the corridor. His hair was the same inky black, with the same curls, but cut shorter and kept in a tamed side part above his ears. And unlike Sirius, his eyes were dark.

"Regulus, come on in," Remus said. He stuck out his hand to shake once the door was closed. "I'm Remus, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Regulus said, seeming surprised at the warmth of the welcome.

"Your brother's in the kitchen. You can leave your shoes and coat here." He indicated the mat and the coat rack. Regulus toed out of a pair of Chelsea boots that were probably worth most of Remus's wardrobe, and hung a tailored wool coat beside Sirius's leather jacket. His fingers slid across the soft leather for a moment.

"I'm glad he kept it," Regulus said. "Drove our parents mad that he chose to wear something so 'common'." He smiled tentatively at Remus and followed him into the kitchen.

Sirius was spinning easily around the kitchen, singing to himself as he cooked the burgers on a griddle pan. A fond smile sketched across Remus's face. Regulus noticed that before he noticed what his brother was cooking.

"Oh, you're making burgers," he sighed. Sirius spun, grinning at his hungry expression. Regulus pinked when he realized he hadn't even said hello. "Uh, hi Sirius."

"Hi Reg," Sirius said fondly. "Gimme a hug." He set down his tongs and reached for his brother with open arms. Regulus rushed into them, hugging his brother tightly. He nestled in like he hadn't been hugged in years. Which might actually have been true, when Sirius considered it. "This is Remus," Sirius said at length, pulling back.

"Yeah, we met at the door," Regulus said, smirking.

"Oi, I don't see you for two and a half years and you sass me like the annoying little brother you always were."

Regulus kept smirking. "I mean, not _little_ anymore." Remus laughed as Sirius pouted up at his baby brother.

"Go sit while I finish cooking, you brat." Regulus sat beside Remus at the table, facing Sirius. "So, how've you been, Reggie? I just see stuff with your law students club on insta."

He shrugged. "I kinda like law, even though Mother and Father chose it. I don't want to go into business law like they want me to, though. I hate my classmates in it. Tax law is interesting."

"You're so weird," Sirius said fondly. "Is that what you want to do, then?"

"Maybe. Catching tax dodgers seems kinda fun. I couldn't do that while Walburga and Orion are still alive, but once we have their money, I can probably afford to do whatever I want."

"You're literally just waiting for them to die," Sirius laughed. "And they think you're the good son."

Regulus snorted. "I'm the conniving son, just like they wanted me to be. Too bad they aren't good enough parents for me to connive _for_ them instead of against them." He paused. "I'm glad you got out though. I can't imagine how awful it would've been if they had found out about Remus when you still lived at home."

"She's already hoping someone will dox me so her 'associates' can have 'words' with me," Remus said. "I almost feel like that's code for assassins," he joked.

Regulus caught his eye. "It used to be," he said soberly. "I can show you stuff from our family records where our ancestors paid off people to kill an unsuitable soulmate. Gay or lower class or not white. Once just because they had a better business deal to make with their daughter. Of all the people still in the family, only Narcissa is actually married to her soulmate, and that's just because she got fucking lucky that he's the Malfoys' eldest son." He shrugged tightly. "Bella sees hers because they all like him for some reason, creepy fucker that he is, but he's not a fit husband according to Mother."

"I am so glad you left, babe," Remus said to Sirius.

"Yeah, me too, angel." He watched his brother as he toasted the buns. "I'm so proud of you, you know. Though I hope you don't say this shit out loud where anyone might overhear." Regulus shook his head. "Good." He grinned slyly. "And I'm so proud my baby brother has such a dirty mouth."

Regulus laughed. "I learned from the best." Sirius tilted his head, looking at him in confusion. "You, you idiot!" Sirius beamed with pride.

As Sirius finished and plated their burgers, Remus got up to get drinks, paper towels, and crisps.

"What can I get you to drink, Regulus?" Remus asked.

"Do you have orange Tango?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You have the tastebuds of a six year old. But yes, there's some at the back of the fridge." Remus dug for it.

"Admit it, you like it too."

"I'll drink it, there's a difference," Sirius said. "Besides, James brought it over."

"He has good taste," Regulus said.

"Well, he _is_ marrying Lily," Remus agreed. Sirius laughed, nodding as he brought the plates to the table.

They dug into their food with gusto, but none more than Regulus. “Sick of kale salads with your weird friends?” Sirius asked teasingly.

“God yes,” Regulus muttered. “Sometimes I sneak off for greasy fish and chips. Half of them think I have a secret girlfriend or something, but I’m just cheating on their pretentious fad food.” Remus and Sirius laughed with him.

It was easy. Easier than Remus had expected it to be. They told Regulus the story from the beginning, since he hadn’t known any of it. They talked about James and Lily’s wedding, about Remus’s degree and his plan to do teacher training in London, about flats they were looking at buying. He, in turn, shared stories of his school friends, mostly ridiculous things the ridiculous people he was forced to hang around with had done. But a few contained the couple of real friends he’d made. They sat around talking long after the food was gone. Sirius got more and more comfortable, even kissing Remus’s briefly when he got up to get more drinks.

“You sure you can’t come?” Sirius asked after Regulus said he wouldn’t be able to get away for his birthday dinner.

“Yeah, they’re really gonna keep an eye on me that night because it’s your birthday,” Regulus said with a shrug. “It’s alright, I’m glad we got to do this.”

“Me too, Reggie,” Sirius said.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Regulus asked cautiously. “I always worry about that.”

Sirius smiled softly. “I usually spend it with the Potters, but they’re going off to holiday somewhere warm, where James and Lily are spending their honeymoon. They said I’m welcome to come, of course, but I’m going to Wales with Remus.” He grinned and gripped Remus’s hand.

“Good, I’m glad,” Regulus said.

“We’ll be here for New Years, are you doing anything?” Sirius asked.

Regulus shrugged. “I’ll probably be invited to a couple of parties with friends. I can always give them and the parents the run around, but actually come hang out with you. I can even show my face at one or both to throw people off.”

“It disturbs me how good you are at this.”

“I learned it from you.” Regulus grinned teasingly across the table at his brother. “I just perfected the art.”

Remus snorted a laugh. “Well, I have no idea what he and James are probably planning and what Lily and I will probably have to re-plan, but I know we’d love it if you came,” Remus said. Sirius nodded.

When Regulus left a short while later, he got hugs from both his brother and Remus. He also followed Remus on Instagram and Remus followed him back with the very firm instruction that he was welcome to message him whenever, especially if he needed something, but also if he just wanted to let Remus know something fishy was up with the Blacks. Sirius beamed at them all through the exchange, so happy that his brother and soulmate were getting along.

“We’ve got a showing at half four,” Sirius said. “And I booked a few for tomorrow, too.”

Remus leaned his head on top of Sirius’s. “Sounds good. Are James and Lily coming with us?”

Sirius shrugged. “Maybe, they said they wanted to do lunch and maybe meet our estate agent. They’re looking at buying a place too, maybe a house or a townhouse or something big enough for kids. And Monty and Effie are gonna help them buy it, obviously, but that’s supposed to be a not really surprise wedding gift, well, partial surprise.” Remus smiled into Sirius’s hair and pressed a kiss there. “They’re really generous. They already asked if I needed help buying a place.”

“That’s sweet of them,” Remus said. “What did you tell them?”

“That if you fell in love with a house that cost more than seven million I’d ask for a loan from them.”

“Jesus fuck, Padfoot, how rich are they?!”

“Um, proper posh, technically kind of own-part-of-a-county posh, nearly as posh as my parents and then Monty quadrupled the fortune through his company.”

Remus choked on his tongue. “What the fuck does he do?”

“It’s technically a chemical company, but they make eco-friendly cosmetics, hair stuff, household things that need chemicals, and then the new branch just created something to break down plastics safely.”

“Um, wow, okay.”

“I mean, he started as the head of R&D for his own company. Pottermore Products. His first invention, Sleakeazy’s Hair Care, is still their bestseller. James likes Potter Pomade, not that it does his mane a damn bit of good.” Remus laughed. “You’ll get to meet them on Sunday. They called to tell me they’re in London and want to join us, which is nice and I feel less bad about asking for a private room at the restaurant since there’ll be ten of us.”

“Okay, wow, they sound cool?” Remus said, suddenly unsure.

Sirius chuckled. “They’re literally the most chill people I’ve ever met, other than, like, you and Lily. Effie taught me to do my own laundry, and they taught me all about soulmates and stuff when I was like eight and came home with James on a visiting weekend from Diagon Prep.”

“Visiting weekend?” Remus asked as they walked back toward the bedroom to change for their showing.

“I boarded there, from seven to eleven, then at Hogwarts. James was a day student in primary, so he went home every night and his parents just told him to bring me along on weekends where we could visit our parents since mine never wanted me home. I think they would have let me board with them if they could’ve convinced my parents to agree. But Effie is very not white, and Monty barely passes, so Walburga wouldn’t even entertain it. I did get to spend short holidays with them when we were at Hogwarts though.”

“I like them already,” Remus said.

Sirius grinned at him once his t-shirt was up and off his face. “They’ll love you. I know it.”

Redressed in slightly nicer looking clothes, they both pulled on wool coats and boots to head outside and take the tube to Marylebone, where they were meeting the estate agent. She was seated at a little table outside the cafe they’d agreed to meet at just off the Marylebone high street. She waved at Sirius as they walked up, which gave Remus a moment to consider her. She couldn’t have been much older than them, with a dark brown bob cut at her chin and a smile pulling her round face. Her khaki trousers and dark pink sweater did say ‘estate agent’ quite obviously, now that he was looking.

“Hi, good to see you again, Sirius,” she said, standing to shake his hand when they reached her table. “I’m Mary MacDonald, you must be Remus.”

“Yes, nice to meet you,” Remus said, shaking her hand.

“So, what’ve you got for us, Mary?” Sirius asked.

“A flat and a house in Marylebone. And I have a few different ideas for tomorrow. I’ll cut the list down to a handful depending on how you like the ones we see today.” They both nodded. “The first one is down this way, just a short walk.” She led them down Devonshire Street. “I thought I’d show you both a house and a flat, since Sirius said he wasn’t sure what would be better long term, or which you might prefer, Remus. And you both might realize you do have a preference while we’re looking that you didn’t know before.” Remus nodded. “This should help me choose showings for tomorrow. More houses or more flats. Maybe you need a lot bigger than you thought you did, or you want something very modern. Think of it as a test run. Though, both of these do fit the list Sirius gave me, and I hope you’ll like them.”

“Flat or house first?” Sirius asked.

“The flat,” Mary replied. “It’s just here, on the end.”

She’d led them to the last house in a row of nearly identical terraced Georgian houses. Brick uppers with white-faced ground floors. Classic for the area. Being the end of the row was nice though.

“It’s the whole second floor, and there’s a lift,” Mary said, taking them in. She unlocked the flat and let them precede her, hanging back in the entrance to let them explore on their own.

Sirius and Remus walked directly across to a small alcove with two doors, one leading into a small but updated kitchen, the other to a small bedroom.

“Bedroom across from the kitchen?” Sirius asked, slightly confused.

Remus shrugged and said, “These houses weren’t originally split into flats. But that could be your music room.” Sirius nodded, giving it a more appraising look. “Kitchen’s nice, but not much bigger than the one you have now.”

They turned right and headed into a large living and dining area with big windows off the back of the building, a fireplace, and an alcove that could probably take a built in bookcase. They looked around, nodding at the space and modern fixtures. Then they headed back toward the front of the flat to look in the guest bathroom, which was a bit small, but workable. As long as Remus didn’t try to get ready in it. Then they went into the smaller of the two bedrooms. It would do fine for a guest room, and they had no real complaints about it. The master bedroom had more windows and a bigger closet, but was probably a little smaller than they wanted.

“I kind of want a king size bed,” Sirius said.

“Really?” Remus asked.

“Angel, you’re six foot three, your feet hang off your bed and they almost hang off mine. Our bed has to be at least longer than you are tall.”

Remus snorted a laugh. “Yeah, okay, I see your point. Might be a little tight in this bedroom.”

“Bathroom is a little small too, but it’s nice, I like it.” Remus nodded. “You know what I really like? It’s got modcons but it’s still got period details. Like a mix.”

“Mmm, yeah, I agree. That’s something Mary can use, right?” Remus asked, looking up at their estate agent as they returned to her.

“I certainly can,” she said. “I think the house will be a bit of a better fit, and it does combine them. It has a very nice kitchen, as well. Much bigger than this one. And a garage.”

“Oh, that’s really nice,” Sirius said.

They followed Mary back outside and back to Devonshire Street. She led them farther in the same direction they’d walked before until they turned down Devonshire Close, a maze of tiny cobbled streets with mostly brick houses that opened directly onto the road. It felt homey to Remus, and Sirius loved the quaintness of it, having grown up in echo-y mansions. Not a single one of their listings was in Kensington by his request. He did _not_ want to end up neighbours with his horrible parents.

Mary opened the front door of a cream-white house with a painted brick upper, and greenery along the front wall. The front door sat between the garage door and two large windows framed in white, making it look even more cheery and bright despite the monotony of brick in the neighbourhood. Mary led them into the ground floor, which boasted a large C-shaped kitchen at the back, that opened onto the bright dining area at the front.  
(view on the [Internet Archive](https://web.archive.org/web/20200509051724/https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-68191734.html))

“This is much bigger, and there’s a dishwasher. I like this kitchen,” Remus said, leaning against the long breakfast bar separating the two spaces.

“Me too, does that door go to the garage?” Sirius asked, pointing. Mary nodded. “Nice, I could keep the car and maybe my bike in there.”

“There’s storage underneath on the garden level as well,” she said, before showing them the water closet and utility room on the floor.

They headed upstairs to the spacious living room and the master bedroom and ensuite. “This is bigger, I like it. The bedroom’s big enough, but the closets take up a lot of space.”

“Well, that door leads to a dressing room lined with more closets if you need to downsize the ones in here,” Mary suggested.

Remus snorted a laugh. “That’s definitely a good thing. He has too many clothes.”

“I do not!” Sirius protested. “I have exactly as many as I need.” Remus curled an arm around him and kissed his cheek, laughing at his indignation. They went through the dressing room and into the ensuite bath before coming back out. “Can we head upstairs?” They followed Mary up, still holding onto each other a little.

“This staircase is lovely,” Remus said. “I bet it gets a ton of natural light. And I love this little study area.” Around the top of the landing, there was a bookcase beside the big windows and a little sitting area to read.

“It’s beautiful, yes,” Mary said.

“Warm in the summer?”

“Probably, though there is aircon and a central furnace, with updated radiators.”

They looked through the upstairs bedrooms and the bathrooms. The big and medium sized rooms had ensuite baths and the smaller room was more suited as an office, or maybe a nursery or playroom. Which Mary made sure to point out.

“I like all the details in here, they really make it homey,” Sirius said. “I could probably dampen the sound in the smallest bedroom pretty well for a music room. And it doesn’t share a wall with the neighbours, so even better.”

“I could work up here by the window while you play,” Remus said.

Mary nodded and led them back downstairs. “So, Remus,” she began, “Sirius says you’re planning on teacher training here next year. Do you know where? I’d love to make sure we’re looking in neighbourhoods that give you access to the underground lines you need.”

Remus smiled. “Probably King’s or UCL. I’m applying to others, but those are my top two and I think I can get in.”

She smiled. “Well, we’re close to several lines here, so you’d be able to get there. And I’ll double check the others I plan to show you tomorrow. This has helped me narrow it down I think. What do you both think of this house?”

“I like it,” Sirius said

“It’s cute, but it doesn’t jump out at me for us,” Remus said. “Though, actually, you know who it might suit?”

“Prongs and Lily,” Sirius said. “Yeah, this is so them. Can you think of all the dinner parties they’d have? And they could fit two kids in that big bedroom upstairs.”

“James could put all his shoes in the dressing room and look at them whenever he wants,” Remus added, making Sirius snort with laughter.

He looked over at Mary when he’d gotten a hold of himself. “Our best friends are soulmates, getting married just before Christmas. They were gonna come to lunch and maybe look with us tomorrow since they want to meet you and find a house. This would actually be perfect for them.”

Mary grinned. “Definitely tell them to come along tomorrow. I’d be happy to set up another showing with them. They’ll have somewhere nice to come back to when they get back from their honeymoon.”

“And I have to tell Effie and Monty. The parents are gonna help as a wedding present.” Mary nodded. “Helping us too, if this one has expensive taste.” He jerked his thumb at Remus teasingly.

Remus snorted. “I do not have expensive taste. I met your posh brother in a Primark t-shirt.” Mary watched them tease each other with a fond smile as they headed back toward the high street.  
  


* * *

The next day, around midmorning, Sirius and Remus met Mary at a cafe in Soho. It was bustling with a lot of fashionable people their age, and Sirius had made a point to wear his Aberystwyth hoodie under his peacoat and insisted that Remus wear his new album art pullover as well, just to make things clear if there were pap photos later. Remus had happily obliged, and kept their fingers laced together even as they weaved through people on the street. Mary had a latte for Sirius and a hot chocolate for Remus waiting beside her own cup when they arrived.

“Good morning,” she said, smiling brightly to match her bright blue sweater.

“Morning,” Sirius greeted, taking a grateful sip of the coffee. Remus echoed the greeting as well, taking his cup and letting her lead the way. “What are we seeing today?”

“A house first. I’ve got one here in Soho that’s very charming and delightful, absolutely bursting with character. Then I’ve got three in Camden, or thereabouts, that we can see after lunch. They’re all along the Northern Line, which should get you within a short walk of both King’s and UCL, depending on the station.” Remus nodded. “This one is very central to everything Soho has to offer, but that does mean it’s a bit busier than the ones we saw yesterday, or even the ones I have for this afternoon, which are all on residential blocks, but very near amenities.”

“I guess we’ll have to think about that,” Remus said. “This one is a bit of a walk from the tube, too.”

“Heart of Soho, though,” Sirius said. “I like Soho, but it is more of a bustle. We could move further out when we want kids?”

“I thought you didn’t want to move again,” Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t, but if it’s in five years or something, that probably won’t be so bad.”

“Guess it depends if we like this house.”

Mary smiled knowingly. “I think you will, but that might not make it the one.” Sirius and Remus glanced at each other to try to understand that mildly cryptic statement, but they came up with nothing.

They’d turned down a standard, narrow Soho street. Shops on the ground floor with flats on the few floors above. Mary stopped them in front of a remarkably plain white building that was about a floor shorter than the hardware store and small cinema to either side. She unlocked the door and ushered them inside.  
(view on the [Internet Archive - new link](https://web.archive.org/web/20200509062355/https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-81936956.html), also see the [same house but less bananas](https://web.archive.org/web/20201207191652if_/https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/85757638#/))

“Let’s start on the lower floor,” Mary said, leading them down the main stairs. “We’ve got a mostly finished bedroom. There’s some extra storage and a bathroom that could probably use a little more updating, but it’s here.”

“This is like a little extra suite of its own,” Sirius said.

“If Reg ever needs to come stay with us for a while,” Remus said. Sirius grinned up at him and pecked him on the lips.

“If he does, he’ll probably enjoy what’s through that door,” Mary said, pointing across the bathroom.

Sirius opened it to reveal a full sauna. “What the fuck.” He looked back at Mary. “What else is down here?”

She grinned and led them back past the stairs to a wine cellar. “If you don’t collect wine, you could always use it as a root cellar or just storage.”

Remus nodded, face blank. “This is already a house full of surprises and we’re not even at ground level.” Mary laughed and led them upstairs to the ground floor again. The dining room at the front of the house had a fireplace and two bright windows looking onto the street, but it was also painted a dark green.

“Yeah, I think I’d change the colour,” Sirius said mildly. “Too Slytherin.”

“Oh, you went to Hogwarts?” Mary asked. “My parents met there, but didn’t want to send me away to board for secondary.”

Sirius nodded. “My whole family was in Slytherin, except me. I asked to be put in Gryffindor and Dumbledore agreed. Said it would be a better environment for me. My family has a parlour painted this colour, but it’s definitely not this pretty.”

“Paint is an easy fix, even if this would take a few coats,” Mary said with a chuckle. Sirius nodded and they followed her up a few short stairs toward the kitchen.

“Why is the ceiling lower right here?” Remus asked as they entered the big open kitchen. The ceiling was a bit lower where they stood, just next to the main stairs, and got much higher after that. It was still plenty tall enough, but there was a noticeable difference.

“There’s a bedroom above you on the half landing. Small though, maybe a music room or nursery.”

“Forget the nursery, Moony,” Sirius said, staring wide-eyed at the kitchen. Remus stared at it too, wrapping his arms around Sirius’s waist from behind. “I think I’m in love.”

“I should be jealous, but, same. These sinks, the counters, Christ.”

“This reminds me of my family’s house and that’s never been a good thing before.” Remus tilted his head to look at Sirius’s face. “Like, imagine this kitchen but a floor lower, same size, paint it all black, and all the lights are like oil lamps that never get cleaned and you’d have the kitchen of my childhood. This is like everything it could’ve been.”

Remus sighed softly. “I don’t care if we buy this house or not, but we need to have a kitchen like this. No matter what.”

“Deal.” They walked further in. It was huge, with two sinks, gorgeous butcher block counters that matched the oak floors, a beautiful vintage gas range, and open shelving throughout. Sirius looked up. “Holy fuck, is that a balcony?” Remus looked up and the ceiling was mostly a skylight, two skylights actually. The first, when coming off the main stairs, seemed to be below a balcony or terrace outside and second was set into the floor of a study or library that could be reached from a second staircase in the kitchen.

“There’s a terrace on the next floor that you can reach from the library,” Mary said. “It makes it very bright in here, especially with the whitewashed brick.”

Sirius tugged Remus away from the library stairs, reminding him that he wanted to see that half-landing bedroom on the main stairs. It was small, as Mary had said, but it probably would work as a small music room if he invested in some smart wall storage for his guitars. It even had a window and a half in the front wall. On the next floor, Mary took them through a large living room with another fireplace. It was decked out in vintage and modern decor, and even had the original radiators framed in paneling to match the walls. They turned down the little corridor, in which there was an upright piano — so Sirius knew where he’d put that if they bought this house — and a half bathroom, and headed into the library.

The library was like the study at the top of the landing from the previous house, but its own room. Remus loved it. It even had its own skylight above the skylight it created for the kitchen and a wall of windows onto the glass terrace.

“You know the only problem I see with this?” Remus said. “We have a significant number of friends who wear skirts.”

Sirius looked down and saw the kitchen below. “I’ve even been known to wear one on occasion. I don’t think any of our friends would be creepy about it, but that’s an actual concern.”

Remus looked back toward the front of the house where he could see the library, terrace, hallway piano, and living room all at once.

“This house is bananas,” he murmured.

“B-A-N-A-N-A-S,” Sirius muttered in agreement.

“Where to next?” Remus asked.

Mary smiled and just led them up to another half landing where there were a pair of linen closets and a steam room. Then up again to the master bedroom which was gorgeous and huge with its own fireplace.

“King size bed would definitely fit in here,” Remus said. “And enough closets for all your clothes. I’ll need a dresser for mine.” Sirius laughed and twirled around the space.

“I like it, ensuite?” he said, tugging Remus with him. There was a vintage clawfoot tub with a modern glass partition for the shower and a small fireplace. Behind it was a separate water closet for a toilet and double sink, again with its own fireplace. “Jesus, this place loves its fireplaces.”

“There’s one more bedroom and another terrace to see,” Mary said, leading them back up the stairs. No more half-landing surprises. The last bedroom was about the same size as the master, with a platform for the bed on one side, and another fireplace. The ceilings were vaulted with gorgeous cross beams that entranced Remus the second he looked up. Turning to the left, there was another ensuite with an exposed brick fireplace, looking like it had been cut directly into the chimney. No bathtub, just a shower behind a single glass partition. Very modern in the rustic environment. Normally, that was nice, but Remus wasn’t sure about this particular shower.

“This is gorgeous,” Sirius said. “Almost prettier than the master, more eye-catching at least.”

“Pretty posh for a guest room, though,” Remus said. “Not that trekking up here at the end of every day sounds all that appealing either.”

“And I wouldn’t want the guest ensuite to have the only bathtub.” Sirius looked over at Mary. “You said there was another terrace?”

“On the roof,” she said. She led them up the stairs onto a lovely wooden deck. The peak of the bedroom’s ceiling cut through the front and made a nice break against the street noise, against which there was also a bench built. It felt secluded and nice up here.

“I repeat, this house is bananas,” Remus said.

“B-A-N-A-N-A-S,” Sirius repeated. “I do like it, though. You were right, Mary.”

“We really have to think about this one,” Remus said. “It’s so weird and wonderful and it would be a lot of fun to live in, especially in this neighbourhood, but it might be a little hard to grow here.”

“Wish we could just shove all the guests in the basement and I could have the attic bedroom for my music room,” Sirius said. “But I do like the idea of having a room set aside for Reg.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got the listing in the packet I’ll leave with you tonight. And we can always look more after Remus has gone back. You can facetime him while we walk around, if you want.”

“I like that option,” Remus said.

Sirius nodded. “Let’s go meet James and Lily for lunch before you show us the Camden houses.”

After Remus said goodbye to the library and they both said goodbye to the kitchen, Mary locked up the house and they headed back to her car to drive to the Mexican restaurant James and Lily were meeting them at. They were already there with a table for five and glasses of water when Sirius, Remus, and Mary walked in from parking the car. Mary received two very nice handshakes and James gave both Remus and Sirius big hugs before Lily kissed them each on the cheek.

“So, how goes the hunt?” James asked.

They glanced at each other. “Not bad, we just came from the coolest, weirdest house ever,” Sirius said. Mary smirked into her menu. “But actually, we saw a house that we think you’d like last night. Mary can set up a showing for you.”

“I’d be happy to,” she said, looking over at them. “I brought an extra copy of the listing for you.” She pulled a couple of stapled sheets of paper out of her folio and passed them over.

“Oh my god, it’s so cute. Where is this?” Lily asked.

“Marylebone, on a little close off Devonshire Street. Small, quiet, cobbled streets. It has a back garden too. It would be nice for a small family. Room for a car in the garage.”

Lily grinned at James who was squinting at the listing. “This is a good price for a house of this size in that area, with these updates. Especially with an enclosed garage and a garden. We could swing this if we talk to Mum and Dad. Maybe we could work it out with them to help with the mortgage instead of a gift, and we’ll gradually take over more of it as we get established.” Lily nodded. “And we can just pay them back.”

“They will not let you pay them back,” Sirius said. “They offered to help me buy a place too and I could hear them frown every time I called it a loan.” Lily snorted a laugh. “And I’d like to point out that I already have a job that pays enough.”

“What did they make you agree to?” James asked.

“That I’ll ask for help if it goes over seven mil, but Rem doesn’t have that kind of taste. We’ll be fine.”

“You getting used to being spoiled yet, Rem?” Lily asked.

“Absolutely not, but it makes him happy, so I’ll shut up.” She laughed.

They ordered a few minutes later and continued their vague chatting through the whole meal, looping Mary into their conversations whenever they could. They recounted for James and Lily the ridiculous, but delightful house they’d just left. And both of them giggled and gasped over the details.

“So, is that the one?” Lily asked.

“Don’t know yet,” Sirius said. “It wouldn’t grow well with us, I don’t think. But we also have three more to see and Mary seems to know just the kind of thing we like.”

She smirked into her glass of water. “Oh, I’ve got a good one for you later,” she said once she set it down.

Sirius managed to steal the bill out from James’s nose and paid for everyone’s lunch with a very smug grin. Remus just rolled his eyes where he couldn’t see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you're all well, staying safe and healthy wherever you may be.
> 
> (Side note: no offense to lovers of orange Tango. I'm more of an Appletiser and Club Orange kind of girl)
> 
> References in this chapter:  
> 'This house is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S' is a riff on Gwen Stefani's 'Hollaback Girl'.
> 
> Upcoming: Next chapter has the three places in Camden and more fun and fluff. Chapter after that has Sirius's birthday dinner and some nice smut.
> 
> There will also be an interlude about what Sirius gets up to in the six weeks between Remus going back to Wales and Christmas. It will be only Sirius's experiences, and will dovetail into the main chapters. I considered just adding it here, but I want what he has planning to be a little bit of a surprise. (As much as it's possible) So I'll be posting that after the Christmas chapter, tentatively titled Six Weeks With Sirius. I've made a lot of progress on it, but it's not done either. It won't be necessary reading for this fic, but I'll put them in a series for convenience.
> 
> Thank you again for reading (esp my long notes) and for sticking with this fic despite my appallingly sporadic updates. I love you all so much and I will be responding to past comments that I've missed over the next few days. As well as any new ones.  
> Much love <3


	8. This is Mid-Victorian, It's Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three houses in Camden for your enjoyment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I intended to get this out on Saturday or Sunday, but unfortunately busy weekend. It's here now!  
> This includes one of the best houses I've ever discovered while shopping for property I can't afford, so I hope you'll have fun with it!
> 
> I've also been writing a lot on the interlude with Sirius (and weaving it together with the main storyline), so that's actually on track. I've just been completely immersed in remodeling and building materials and antique grand pianos. As you do. I think you'll enjoy the look at what Sirius gets up to without his Moony.

Mary insisted all three properties were within walking distance of the restaurant, but as two were on the same street, they could start with the other one. She walked them just a couple of blocks over from the high street where they had been eating lunch and up to another row house. It was also in the classic Georgian style and looked just the same as the ones to either side.  
(view on the [Internet Archive)](https://web.archive.org/web/20200509105132/https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-89845157.html)

“This is the whole house you’d be buying,” Mary said. “C’mon in.” there was a little iron gate sectioning off a tiny garden in front, which Sirius and Remus nodded at. It wouldn’t do for a dog or kid to really run around, but it would do for letting the dog out to do its evening business.

They entered into a narrow corridor which opened into a bigger space just before the main stairs. Mary gestured for them to go downstairs. The stairs opened into a kitchen and casual dining area. The kitchen was very modern and large, but was laid out only along one wall with two casual dining areas in the middle of the floor. At the back of the house there was a study that made Remus smile and which opened with a folding glass door onto the back garden and patio.

“I like this, and we could rework the kitchen, I think,” Remus said.

“True, and there’s a full bathroom down here too, and laundry,” James said from where he was looking around.

“There’s a gorgeous sitting room upstairs,” Mary said. They followed her up.

The room at the front was set up as a formal parlour with a nice sofa and an upright piano. It wasn’t open to the entryway, creating the narrow corridor they had entered through, and had doors which closed it off from the casual sitting area in the middle and the more structured sitting room at the back. While the period elements throughout the house were lovely and had been kept in good shape, the blending with the modern was best exemplified by the curved glass skylights at the very back that came down into a full glass wall inset with doors out onto a balcony over the back garden.

“Wow,” Sirius breathed. “That’s a lot of light.”

“Beautiful,” Lily agreed. She crossed the room with Remus to open one of the doors and peek outside. The balcony wasn’t terribly deep, but it ran the entire width of the house.

They headed upstairs again to the first floor, which housed the master suite. The suite’s door opened into the bathroom, which Sirius found odd. But the bathroom did have a very nice claw foot tub, though it needed some additional fittings to make it easier to shower.

“It’s got a bidet, separate and everything,” James said. “And a terrace! The bathroom has its own balcony!”

“It does?” Remus asked, following James out onto a bigger terrace. “This is over the sitting room downstairs, I see.”

“Slightly odd layout, but if this floor is just for you two, it shouldn’t be too big a deal,” Lily said. Sirius nodded along, taking everything in and looking around the very large bedroom with its very large windows.

They headed up another floor where there were two more bedrooms, both good sizes for guests or kids or even a music room.

“You’d have the swankest guest room of all of us, even without an ensuite,” James said, looking around the front bedroom on that floor. It was nearly the size of the master below it.

“I could use the small bedroom for my music room, and annoy anyone who ever stays over,” Sirius said. Remus snorted a laugh and took his hand to tug him along to the final floor.

It was only a little smaller than the floor below it, but the stairs entered the room directly, with a long, narrow water closet off to the side. There were cupboards built into one wall near the front windows, but the rest of the space was clear for a bed and bookcases.

“Actually, this would be better,” Remus said. “You can’t close it off, but I don’t like the idea of a bedroom that doesn’t have a door or something. There’s a lot of space here for your instruments and a writing desk and some comfy furniture.”

“And pretty windows, too,” Sirius said. “So we’d have two extra bedrooms, and we can grow into them. That’s pretty good.”

“I actually really like this one,” Lily said. “A few little changes and it’d be just what you need now and when you decide to have a kid.”

With the general consensus that it was a good solid house in a nice neighbourhood with enough space for them, though it needed a bit of fine tuning to their needs, they followed Mary out and down the road.

“I’ve got a flat and a house for you to see on Oakley Square,” Mary said. “Really pretty street, the park is just across so you’ll have great views from the windows.”

It was a short walk from the other side of the high street, but this block was even closer to Mornington Crescent station than the previous place. Remus, who wasn’t very well versed in the London underground, having only visited the city a few times in his life, asked if that was the tube stop she had meant earlier.

“You can catch the Northern line there. But you can actually walk to Euston, both the rail and tube stations from here, which are right next to UCL.”

“That’s where I get the train to and from Wales, so that’s perfect,” Remus said.

“And if you take it to Embankment, it’s a short walk or a transfer for one stop to get to King’s.”

Sirius grinned. “This is the perfect neighbourhood, angel.” Remus nodded in agreement.

They came up Oakley Square, following Mary along a perfect row of Georgian row houses until they came not to the end of the street, but to the end of the row, beside which was a brick Gothic Revival building that looked like a small church with peaks and cornices and fancy trefoil windows.

“It’s the end one here,” Mary said.

Sirius followed her up the front steps, Remus trailing behind, hand in his. “Living next to a church, I like that irony. I could live next to a church.”

“I’m into it,” Remus agreed.

“Be good for your social media, Padfoot,” James teased.

Mary grinned to herself and ushered them into the building. “It’s on this floor and the one below it. Bit odd, but I thought that might not be a bad idea for your music room.”

Sirius nodded. They came in from the communal stairs across from the kitchen. It was a galley kitchen, set up with a small eat-in area. Then into the living area at the front of the house. The big windows looked out on to the park across the street.

“It has the original floors and moldings, and great windows, but there are a lot of modern upgrades,” Mary said.

“The kitchen is nice, not huge but light and airy,” Lily said, passing through it again to look into the small bedroom off the back. “Good size for a nursery.”

“Everyone wants us to have a kid,” Remus muttered to Sirius.

“I mean, same, but not yet. You’re so right, we’re not ready,” Sirius replied in the same tone.

“Let’s head downstairs. There are a few bedrooms down here, more than you need, but I think you could open two of them up to make a big master bedroom and leave the other two as is,” Mary said.

The lower floor wasn’t completely underground and had windows which let in a surprising amount of light, but it was an odd layout of bedrooms. All but the small one at the back were about the same size. Mary pointed out the two bathrooms and built in storage, especially the closets that preceded the small bedroom on this floor, which she suggested would be a good music room.

“Yeah, I could do something nice with this,” Sirius said, looking around. “Get some wall mounts in here and fill up the cupboards by the door.”

“Oh, there’s two bedrooms here,” Lily said, surprised as she stepped through the doorway to the front half of the floor. James looked over her shoulder, head tilted in confusion. There was a little hallway sectioned off to lead to two more bedrooms.

“Exactly what I meant,” Mary said. “I think you could put a door in here, instead of an opening, and take down the wall in between. It’s not weight bearing, so it shouldn’t be too much trouble. Then you’d have a big master bedroom beside the bigger bathroom, without cutting off access to the bathtub if you have little ones to bathe later down the line.”

Sirius and Remus came over to join them, looking around and considering it. “That would work. Don’t know how I feel about living in a garden level basement,” Sirius said. “I mean, I guess we wouldn’t be only living down here.”

“I see what you mean,” Remus said. “We’ll want to move eventually.”

“That’s my fear,” Sirius said. “But it’s such a great neighbourhood.”

“The other house isn’t any farther from the tube,” Remus said. “And it’s a whole house, and lots of windows.”

“And I have one more,” Mary said. “My secret weapon, guaranteed to knock your socks off.”

Sirius nodded once. “Yeah, okay, let’s see that one.”

They followed her back up the stairs and outside, waiting while she locked up behind them. She came down the front steps and led them down the pavement. After less than thirty seconds she stopped and faced them.

“Huh?” Sirius asked dumbly.

“This is it,” Mary said, smirking as wide as anything. She waved an arm to her right. At the little church.

“Wait, fuck, really?” Sirius asked. “A church?”

“Technically, it’s a vicarage,” Mary said. “The church stood there.” She gestured over her shoulder at where a newer building stood on the other side of the driveway. “But it’s been demolished.”

“This is a house?” James asked, incredulous as well.

“Yep, private home and it’s been in the same family for the last forty years. It’s a bit of a museum inside, but I think you’ll like it. The details are stunning.” She opened the front gate and climbed the front steps to open the door.  
(view on the [Internet Archive](https://web.archive.org/web/20200509104355/https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-77396140.html))

Sirius stood on the pavement and gawked at it for a second.

Remus extended his hand for Sirius to take it and lead him in. When his boyfriend looked up at him with wide eyes, he smiled and said, “Well? Take me to church.”

Sirius doubled over laughing so hard he had to stop to wipe his eyes before he could take Remus’s hand and pull him along. James and Lily followed, still laughing at the two of them. They walked inside the laughter caught in their throats. The foyer was all gorgeous stone and dark wood. The iron fixtures looked original. Everything looked original. It opened further to a main corridor. On the right was a frankly gorgeous original wooden staircase, with an incorporated door down to the lower level stairs.

“Let’s start on this floor and then we can go down to the basement,” Mary said. “The first parlour is just on your left.”

“It’s like an art museum,” Sirius half laughed, staring at the mixture of different types and mediums of art that littered the space, which was mostly free of formal furniture. “There’s an upright in the corner. I could fit a proper piano in here, a baby grand probably.”

“Piano and some seating, make a nice formal party room,” Lily said over their shoulders.

They followed Mary down the corridor almost in a daze, just toward the door to the second parlour, which was next to an archway fitted with a large clock. The second parlour was as much of a museum as the first, and both had original fireplaces rounding out the aesthetic.

“I like the slightly off kilter painting of Jesus,” Sirius said. “Suits the former vicarage thing.”

“That’s your aesthetic,” Remus agreed, resting against Sirius’s shoulder.

“This is a fucking cool house,” Sirius said. James murmured an agreement behind him.

“Hey, Pads, you know what would be great in this room?” James asked. “A home cinema. Those windows have shutters, you could do it up nice with big sofas and a projector screen above the fireplace.”

Remus raised a brow. “Prongs offering useful interior design suggestions,” he said, surprised. “That’s not horrible, mate.”

“Thanks Moony.”

“You haven’t even seen the best part of this floor yet,” Mary said, encouraging them to leave the art museums of the front rooms and follow her down a corridor hung with framed mirrors. She pointed out a small office space beside a built in bookcase, then she opened the door at the end of the hall.

Inside was a study made for a historian like Remus. It was nirvana to someone who loved to be surrounded by books and eras gone by. The wooden framed window looked out over the back garden, with a matching wooden table underneath it. Every wall was filled with built in bookcases above waist level and below held map drawers of various widths, all with brackets to label them. A weathered brass, oil style lamp hung from the center of the room as a chandelier. Remus took a halting step inside and pressed his hand to his mouth. His eyes looked suspiciously wet. Sirius ducked under his unoccupied arm and wrapped himself around Remus’s waist.

“It’s — this can’t be real,” Remus said. “We can’t be able to buy this. It’s a dream.”

“Angel, if it makes you happy, I’ll buy it right now.”

Remus gasped a wet laugh. “We should see the rest first. You can build me one, if the rest is shit.”

“Okay,” Sirius conceded, though he still rocked up on his toes to kiss Remus’s watery smile. His soulmate was so overwhelmed by the perfection of this room, the idea of what he could do in here. Study, grade papers, just read. Forever, if they owned it.

They came back out into the corridor and Mary smiled at them. “That door leads to the back garden, but you can see if from the window, I’m sure.” She led them back toward the stairs. “Oh, and there’s this.” She reached into the corridor’s bookcase and turned something, pushing it inward. There was a toilet on the far wall, with a tiny window above, and a sink set into the left hand wall.

“Oh my fucking god, there’s a secret loo behind a bookcase. This house is a goddamn marvel,” Sirius said.

“Is this the time to mention that I’ve wanted a bookcase door since I was like five?” Remus asked.

“Obviously,” James said from behind them.

Mary led them downstairs to the lower garden level. She pointed out the second set of stairs that made a separate entrance to the cellar and then the floor itself. The cellar was smaller than in the bananas house, but the overall floor was bigger. There was a full bathroom and a laundry room, as well as a small back bedroom, a big workshop full of storage, and a bigger front bedroom with nice windows.

“For Reg,” Remus said, hooking his chin over Sirius’s shoulder as they looked at it. “Gets his own floor and entrance and bathroom, but he’ll be able to come up and use the kitchen and eat with us and hang out.”

“I like that we’re planning for him to come stay with us if he needs to,” Sirius said. “This would be nice for him. Or a kid when they get older and want their own space.”

“Growth potential,” Lily agreed from where she was checking out the view from the windows. “How big is the driveway outside?” she asked Mary.

“Three cars, or thereabouts.”

“Space for your bike, Padfoot,” James said.

“True, are we going up now?” Sirius asked, gesturing at the stairs.

They climbed two flights to what Mary called the living level. Directly across from the stairs was a dining room at the front and a large room set up as a sitting room at the back, with a kitchen to the far left and a small bedroom to the far right. Sirius headed down to the kitchen with Remus in tow. It was big, counters covering two and a half walls and a very small sitting area on the right hand side. The ceiling was slanted toward the lefthand wall, under which there was a nice gas range.

“I don’t like this set up much, but we could really do something with all this space,” Sirius said.

“I can see it,” Remus said. “We could make it bright like the bananas house, maybe put in a big island with a breakfast bar instead of that table.”

“That would look really nice,” Lily said. “You could maybe put in an archway leading to the dining room, instead of splitting it.”

“There is a door on the far end of the wall. But you’ll have to check what you’re allowed to do,” Mary said. “I should mention, this was built in 1861. Designed by John Johnson, one of the guys who designed Ally Pally. It’s a grade two listed building.”

“Oh my fucking god, Sirius, we can’t live in a listed building,” Remus said.

“Why not? I went to school in two of them. I’ve carved my initials into a listed building,” Sirius said. Remus dropped his head onto Sirius’s shoulder. “No cutting an archway though. But we can redo some of this. Maybe put matching wood floors back in the kitchen, or whatever would have been original. Get some upper shelves, put a big wooden island in the middle, whitewash the walls. This’ll be really nice for us, babe.”

Remus nodded. “Jesus Christ.”

“The church was demolished, angel.”

“Fallen angels can’t walk on consecrated ground, you fucker,” Remus muttered. Sirius just laughed. “Okay, let’s go see the dining room.”

They crossed into the dining room, with its heavy wooden table and almost medieval looking chairs. Two large hutches with open shelves on top and drawers on the bottom flanked the fireplace on the far wall and a loveseat sat under the bay windows.

“This reminds me of the Great Hall,” Sirius said. James and Lily murmured their hushed agreement. “Where we ate meals at Hogwarts,” he explained to Remus.

“It was like this?”

“But big enough for a thousand students. This on a castle scale, and more exposed stone. Benches instead of chairs. The chairs remind me of the headmaster’s chair. Same shape.”

“Yep, wish I’d gone there,” Remus said. “Alright, Mary, hit us with the next one.”

Beyond that, there was a big sitting room, light and comfortable with big built in bookcases like the hutches in the dining room and large sash windows looking out over the garden. The sofas were plush and warm looking and Remus could imagine Sirius picking out something similar, plus a wingback for Remus to read in.

At the very back of the floor was a small bedroom with cupboards set into the front wall and a window over the garden.

“This would make a nice nursery,” James said.

“I’d like to remind all parties present that I do not have the parts to carry this baby you’re all assuming is on the way. So unless someone is volunteering to be a surrogate in about five years, we don’t need a nursery by June,” Sirius said.

“I didn’t want to know that you bottom,” James said.

Lily snorted a laugh. “Like you needed to be told that.” Sirius tried to glare at her, but his lips kept grinning because, yeah, she was kinda right. “We’re not gonna stop, you know. You gotta plan five years ahead. Look, there’s a garden for the dog you’re gonna get a few months.”

“Thank you Lily,” Remus replied, deadpan. “Upstairs, Mary?”

She was trying not to laugh at them. “Yes, the master suite and what I think might be either a big guest bedroom or a really swank music room.”

They climbed the stairs and she pointed them into the front bedroom. Directly across from the door was a staircase, which wrapped halfway around the room to a loft above the bed, which sat beneath the small leaded window. On either side of the bed, there were cupboards built into the walls in the same wood as the stairs and paneling.

“What’s up in this loft?” Siruis asked as he climbed the stairs with Remus right behind him. At the small landing, the stairs parted to go up both sides, one above the bed and the other seemingly above the bedroom next door. They split up, Remus toward the back and Sirius toward the front of the house, above the bed. “Um, wow, huge closet for me. What’s over there, Moony?”

“Slightly smaller closet.”

“For you!” Sirius replied with a grin.

Remus tried not to sigh at how fitting it was. “Yep, walk in closets built above our bedroom.  _ This  _ house is bananas,” he muttered under his breath.

“There’s a sink in here!” James called, sticking his head into a closet door just beside the entrance to the master. “You could rearrange this and have a mini ensuite.”

They came down the stairs to look around him, Remus over his shoulder and Sirius under his arm.

“Could set it up like the little hall ones on the lower floors,” Siruis said. “They must’ve brought some plumbing over if there’s a sink, so that could probably be done.”

They followed Mary down to the next bedroom, which had vaulted ceilings and lots of exposed wood. There was a small window set into the back wall overlooking the garden and matching the one in the master bedroom. It was nearly as big, minus the stairs and loft, but there was a wide walk in closet, though it didn’t have any built in shelving.

“ _ This _ house is bananas,” Remus muttered again. Sirius, too wide-eyed with ideas of a massive music room to speak, just nodded.

Then all at once, he sucked in a breath and began rambling. “Moony, I could fit everything in here. A desk by the window to write and soft chairs and a really good stool for posture and all my guitars and a really good keyboard and maybe a few other things I’ve been putting off getting because I don’t have room for a digital drum kit right now. But I could put down rugs and some removable acoustic panels and make it sound so good in here. It’s already so good. And in the closet there, it’d be so great. You know what I could do? I could soundproof the fuck out of it and put a nice door on it and I’d have my own at home recording booth. That would be so fucking sweet. Oh my god, angel, please, it’s so perfect.”

Remus pulled him close, trying to slow his frantic planning. “That sounds pretty amazing, baby,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Sirius’s cheek. Sirius beamed at him. “Let’s see the rest first, yeah?” Sirius nodded.

“Just the master bathroom left,” Mary said. “It’s really something.”

And it was. Huge, white tiled, with a massive bath platform surrounding a tub on the far end. There was more space in it than in most bedrooms. A hooped shower curtain hung from the vaulted ceiling above the tub with a nice showerhead that looked more reproduction than period, especially considering the style of the wall mounted control. There was a nice handheld sprayer too, though.

“Is this original?” Lily asked of the tile and wood platform surrounding the bath. It matched extremely well, but the lip of the bath, and its fixtures, made it clear that it was a freestanding claw foot tub, almost definitely original to the Victorian built home. Or a shortly post-build addition.

“No idea, but you’d probably be able to find out. All the records should be available, or a contractor for historical buildings could tell you more,” Mary said.

“If it’s not, we could replace it with some freestanding shelves and tables, get rid of the mirrors, maybe expose the pipes like they probably were when they were installed,” Sirius said. “Otherwise, it’s beautiful in here.”

“And there’s one last thing,” Mary said.” She took them back to the main stairs and urged them up to a loft on the same level as the master bedroom closets. It would be a tiny bedroom, but might be a nice reading nook, or playroom. It opened onto a small roof terrace about the same size as the room.

“This house has no end of surprises, does it?” Remus said, coming back in from the terrace.

“It’s the coolest place ever,” Sirius said.

“It’s ridiculous,” Remus said as they all made their way back down the stairs.

“ _ I’m _ ridiculous. How much are they asking, Mary?” Sirius asked.

“Four and a quarter million.”

“That’s it?!” James gawked.

“The bananas house is more than that,” Sirius said.

“Stop trying to make nonsense sound like sense,” Remus said. “You can’t possibly buy an old vicarage for us to live in. This place is a fucking castle.”

“Angel, we three went to school in a literal castle. This is mid-Victorian, it’s fine.”

“Will you look at other houses and not just jump on this because it’s weird in a more functional way?” Sirius nodded slowly. “It only has two showers.”

“That was our minimum.”

“It has too many rooms.”

“We’ll grow into it. Or play hide and seek. Besides, it’d be great for parties and if Reg comes to stay with us, which might have to happen if he burns bridges to side with me in court.”

“Stop sounding sensible. Living in a house like this would be barmy.”

Sirius looked him straight in the eye. “You love this fucking house, don’t pretend you don’t.”

Remus sighed and wrapped an arm around Sirius’s shoulders. “Of course I fucking love it. It’s amazing, but it can’t be real or possible. Babe, I grew up in a two bed, one bath little cottage and spent half my childhood in a hospital room I shared with another kid. This isn’t supposed to be possible.”

Sirius reached up to kiss him. “You deserve to live in the best, coolest house I can find for us. Where you grew up has no bearing on that. I grew up in the shittiest, poshest place in Kensington. Looked just like the rowhouses next door, but richer and more depressing. But this could be an amazing chance for us. You deserve the best, coolest house ever.”

“When you find it, you can buy it for us,” Remus conceded with a brief kiss. “Facetime me when you go looking.”

“Okay,” Sirius said with a grin. Remus didn’t bother to ask what he was planning. Probably more listed buildings. He’d be the death of Remus, but it would be such a nice way to go.

They all crowded onto the pavement as Mary locked up behind her. She closed the gate behind them all.

“You know, I only took you to the flat next door for the drama of it,” she admitted.

Everyone stared at her, then Sirius barked a laugh. “Fuck, you’re great Mary! What are you doing for New Years?”

She shrugged. “Nothing.”

“You’ll be invited to our chill party then. You’re brill.”

She grinned. “I try my best. I should let you get going, I know you have plans this evening. Here’s the listings for the places we’ve seen. Call me and we’ll set up more showings next week.”

They parted ways on the pavement as she headed back toward her car and the rest of them headed toward the tube.

“You guys need to head home before dinner?” Sirius asked James and Lily.

“Nope,” Lily said.

“Kay, we’re gonna change shirts and then we’re ready. So, back to mine and then an uber to the restaurant?” Sirius suggested. They both nodded and the four of them headed back to Sirius’s flat.

Once they were inside, James and Lily did a bit of shuffling with their outfits. She took off her cardigan, which on closer inspection was actually James’s, and gave it to him, donning a scarf from her bag with her dress. They both looked immediately more put together and ready for a nice dinner. Remus and Sirius went into the master bedroom to change into nicer shirts, rather than hoodies, but left the door cracked to be able to talk to their friends.

“I didn’t want to ask out there in case it was a secret or something,” James began. “But you were talking about having a place for Regulus in your new house?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you,” Sirius said, poking his head out and coming into the living room as he did up the last few buttons of his blue-grey shirt. “Reg messaged me on Thursday after I posted on insta about Remus being here. He didn’t think I’d want to hear from him, but wished me a happy birthday, said he would testify on my behalf if we really need him.”

“What?” Lily gasped.

“He’s playing the long game with Wally and Orion. Like, he doesn’t want to do what they want, but he’s willing to play along to milk them for tuition and inheritance. But he’ll burn the bridge if we don’t have any other way to win.”

Remus came out of the bedroom in the same dark grey trousers he’d been wearing earlier, but with a midnight blue shirt tucked into them. “We want him to have somewhere safe if he has to leave.”

“Have you met him?” James asked.

“He came over for lunch yesterday. He’s funny,” Remus said. “Whatever impression you had of him was an act.”

James pursed his lips thoughtfully. “He used to be a sweet, funny kid at Diagon,” he said. “It wasn’t until Walburga had a conniption about me and Padfoot being friends that he started to sound like them.”

“Trust me, Prongs, he was more himself yesterday than I’ve seen him in almost ten years,” Sirius said. “He can’t come tonight, but he’s probably coming on New Years.”

“Andy’s still coming tonight, right?” James asked. Sirius nodded.

“Speaking of, we should call a car or we’ll be late,” Lily said.

Sirius pulled out his phone and ordered them an uber while they all put coats and scarves back on and headed downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> Leave a comment if you feel so inclined, let me know what you thought of the houses, or where you want to see things go. I always love reading your ideas and headcanons.
> 
> Also, please let me know if any of the links are not working and I'll fix them ASAP.  
> You should definitely check out the photos for the vicarage because they are awesome, definitely worth the time. It's also still for sale (as of this posting 12/20) but the price has been lowered and the new listing has fewer pics, but a clearer floorplan.
> 
> Next chapter will be later this week, hopefully, and will be the birthday dinner! Until then, stay safe and well, my friends


	9. Team Not-Denying-Yourself-Things-You-Want-In-Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's someone's birthday!! And we all know that means family dinner! With some familiar and less familiar faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!! Remember how I said I would ideally get the Christmas chapter posted by New Years? Yeah, I severely underestimated the amount of plot in between now and then, which I have already planned out but have not completely written.  
> So the new goal is the wedding will be posted by Christmas!
> 
> The interlude of Sirius's activities from his birthday weekend to Christmas is nearly done, which means that most of the other plot stuff that's happening during and after that in this fic is pretty much done.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy this update and have a lovely holiday if you're celebrating this week!  
> (Also, check the end notes for a quick poll)

Their uber pulled up out front within only a few moments of them going downstairs and they climbed in, letting Lily sit up front, with Sirius squished between James and Remus in the back. Thanks to Lily’s timing, they arrived right on time for their reservation.

“Hi,” Sirius said as he led them up to the hostess. “Reservation under Potter. We’re in a private room.”

The hostess smiled and looked down at her list. “Ah, here we are. Yes, two of your party have already arrived. I’ll lead you back and your server will be with you shortly.”

They were led into one of the smaller private rooms off the main dining room. Inside, a couple who could only be Effie and Monty Potter were sitting at the table and looking over the menu. Her skin was a dark burnished brown, like James’s, and her hair was several shades darker, shot through with a bit of grey. Her dress was, rather like Lily’s, nice without appearing formal. And she wore flat boots over her thick tights. Monty was like looking at a future James. His hair was a bit less wild and nearly all white, and his skin a light enough brown to be ambiguous. But he had the same eyes and face, even the same glasses. He wore a dark maroon jumper over a cream shirt, which made him look like a very approachable head teacher.

“Oh,” Effie said, looking up a moment after they came in. “You’re here.” Her smile was wide and warm. She hopped up and grabbed the nearest kid — Lily, in this instance — in a hug.

“Hi Mum,” Lily said, squeezing her back.

Effie let go and moved to hug James while Monty stood to follow behind her. He wrapped Lily in long arms and brushed a quick kiss over her cheek.

“Lovely to see you, Lily, dear,” he said.

“You too, Dad,” she replied, squeezing his hand and he moved on to James.

Effie reached Sirius and wrapped him in a bear hug. She was shorter than him by half a head, but that didn’t seem to make much difference. He nestled into her shoulder and let himself be loved.

“Happy Birthday, sweetie,” she said, leaning back to kiss both of his cheeks. “Now, introduce me to your soulmate.”

Sirius chuckled, accepting a quick hug from Monty before he made introductions. “Mum, Dad, this is Remus Lupin, my soulmate. My _angel_. Moony, this is Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, James’s parents who practically adopted me.”

Remus stuck his hand out to shake when he was pulled into an exuberant hug by Effie. He went with a laugh and wrapped both arms tightly around her, leaning down to make the hug better.

“Oh, thank you, you sweet, kind boy, for being there for him,” she murmured.

“It’s my pleasure, really. It’s an honour to love him.”

She sniffled a little. “You call me, Effie or Mum, son. You understand?” He nodded. “Good. I’m sure Monty wants to hug you too.”

She relinquished him to Monty’s equally enthusiastic embrace. “Welcome to the family, Remus.”

They sat down, Sirius and Remus beside each other in the middle of the table, Lily on Remus’s other side, James across from her and Monty and Effie beside him, across from Sirius and Remus. Only a few minutes later, another pair were led into the room by the hostess. They were younger, though probably both in their late twenties. They were clearly a couple, with their hands clasped tightly between them. He stood very tall, with broad shoulders and a wide chest, and an easy smile split his face. He was dark skinned with very bright brown eyes. She looked remarkably like Sirius, with only slightly lighter hair and slightly darker eyes.

“Andy!” Sirius cried happily as he jumped up. He wrapped his arms around her and she hugged tightly back, as if she hadn’t seen him in a while. “Hi Ted,” Sirius said to the man beside her, happily being swallowed in a hug. “Angel, come meet my cousins.” Remus stood from his seat and joined them. “This is Andromeda, my first cousin on Wally’s side and third on Orion’s.” Remus raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. “And this is her soulmate and husband, Ted Tonks. Guys, this is Remus, my soulmate.”

“Very nice to meet you, Remus,” Andromeda said. She shook his hand warmly, but he could feel a bit of distance. Things hadn’t always been easy for Sirius on this front, perhaps she was merely cautious for his sake. Remus smiled easily back at her and shook Ted’s hand when it was offered. “Dora sends her love, but we left her with the sitter. She’s too rambunctious for a place like this.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, I understand. We’ll have to plan something soon. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her.” Andromeda smiled then and nodded, tugging Ted to take a seat at the table across from her, so she could sit next to her cousin. Just as they sat, the door opened again and two more people entered. They had clearly been talking before the door opened, but not in the hushed, intimate posture of a couple in a quiet restaurant. He was short, maybe shorter than Sirius, and a bit on the heavier side. Probably about their age. She looked a bit older, perhaps a bit more put together in an artsy way, with long blonde hair pinned back to flow over her shoulders.

“Wormtail!” James said, jumping up to join Sirius in greeting the shorter man. The girl rolled her eyes fondly and smiled over at him.

“You must be Moony,” she said. “I watched Sirius _moon_ over your picture enough on tour to remember.” She stuck out a hand. “I’m Aoife Malone.” He’d figured that out, but it was nice to match her up to Sirius’s stories.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Remus. And Sirius has told me a lot of great stories about touring and writing with you.” Her smile ticked wider.

Sirius turned to them then. “Aoife,” he greeted, grinning, and hugged her. “Good, I’m glad you two like each other. Now, angel, you need to come here and meet Peter. Or Wormtail as he is affectionately known.”

“That doesn’t sound like an affectionate nickname,” Remus teased, but let himself be turned to greet Peter. “Hi, I’m Remus,” he said, sticking out a hand to shake.

“Peter Pettigrew,” Peter said, shaking it firmly. “You got stuck with him?” he teased, gesturing at Sirius.

Remus laughed. “Something like that. Stuck with each other, I guess.” He tipped his head down to press a kiss to Sirius’s cheek and soften the blow of his teasing. Sirius just rolled his eyes and leaned into Remus’s side. When they were out and about like this that was his favourite spot. Even more than holding hands, he loved to be pressed up against Remus, or under his arm, his own arm wrapped around Remus’s trim waist. He loved to feel his soulmate pressed against him from top to toe in every circumstance, sexual or not.

“Stop ganging up on me and come sit,” Sirius mock pouted. Remus dropped a quick kiss onto that pout and did as he asked, pulling out his chair for him before sitting himself. Aoife dropped down beside Ted at the end of the table and Peter across from her.

Sirius beamed at Remus. And the Potters and Tonkses looked pretty happy with him too. He gathered that no one had really treated Sirius properly before him. A thought which made him both glad and heartsore. He was glad there had been no one who had occupied such an important role in Sirius’s life other than him. But it hurt to think of the sweet boy he loved being treated poorly by anyone.

Remus pecked him on the cheek because he just couldn’t help himself and picked up his menu. Most of the others did the same, at least for a moment, before Ted received a speaking look from Andromeda and turned to engage Remus.

“So, Remus, what do you do? Sirius hasn’t told us much,” he asked politely, but probingly.

“I’m in my last year of university in Aberystwyth. Double Honours in History and English Literature. I’m applying for my PGCE in London for next year,” Remus said.

“Oh, a teacher, that’s lovely,” Euphemia said, smiling over at him.

“My mum’s a teacher,” Remus said. “She’s one of the best people I know, so following in her footsteps seemed logical, especially given my academic interests.”

“Where are you applying?” Peter asked.

“King’s and UCL are my top choices,” Remus replied.

“We’ve been looking at houses in good commuting distance,” Sirius interjected.

Andromeda raised an eyebrow. “You’re buying a house?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, my flat’s tiny and I’ve barely lived in it. Plus, we wanna get a dog. And this way, when Remus is finished, he can just move into our house here and we’ll be all set.” He said all this with a grin and a light, excited tone. Andromeda looked slightly concerned, but she didn’t comment.

“You found anything you like, son?” Monty asked.

“We found a place we like in Camden, but Moony’s not sure we should buy it.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’d be barmy to buy an old vicarage for us to live in.”

“No, it’s brilliant!” Sirius countered.

“To be fair, Moony,” James said from his other side, “that house is the most you and Padfoot house that could ever exist, I think.”

“Lily?” Remus asked, turning to her beside him. “Are _you_ gonna take my side?”

She shrugged. “I mean, I’m Team Not-Denying-Yourself-Things-You-Want-In-Life, so probably not. You love that house.”

"Wooooow, Lily," he said, dragging it out. "That's cold, I thought being Man of Honour meant we were on the same side." She rolled her eyes at his dramatics. Remus huffed and let himself lean on Sirius’s shoulder. “Fine. It’s our backup, if you can’t find anything that’s less ridiculous but still good.”

The server came into the room then, smiling and introducing herself and taking their drink orders. There was a general consensus for wine or beer all around, except Monty, who ordered a double of a top-shelf whiskey. They asked for another few minutes to choose their entrees, and once she left they all got stuck into the menu. After she’d come back several minutes later and everyone had ordered, the interrogation began again.

At least, Sirius was starting to realize it was an interrogation. Especially from Andy.

“You’re in the wedding party, Remus?” she asked, glancing around Sirius to see him.

“Oh, Remus and I have been friends for years. Didn’t realize he was Sirius’s soulmate until...what, May?” Lily answered.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “My friend Alice played his song for me and I recognized parts of it.”

“You wrote Take Me to Church on _your arm_ , Padfoot?” Peter asked.

Sirius shrugged. “I mean, it was for Moony, so I wrote it _to_ Moony. For his birthday. And I didn’t write all of it on my arm, just the parts I’d already worked out, mostly. Did the same with a few other songs.”

“I kept everything you wrote to me, at least everything I saw. It’s in a notebook in my nightstand,” Remus said.

“What?” Sirius gasped. “I was in your bedroom alone and I didn’t get to snoop in it?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I drew little hearts all over it and made lots of annotations and tried to figure it all out.”

“Really? My English Lit nerd didn’t annotate my poetry?” Sirius replied.

“No, because you wrote it to me. But you might be able to tell which pages I read the most and that’s probably really embarrassing.”

Sirius laughed, shaking his head and leaning against Remus. “You can’t embarrass yourself in front of me, angel. That’s literally impossible.”

“Whatever you say,” Remus murmured into his hair, pressing a kiss there.

After that, things seemed to get lighter. Andy spoke more warmly to Remus, and though she asked just as many questions, they were less probing. By the middle of the meal, Remus even had her laughing along with an anecdote from one of his Welsh history classes about the wearing of leeks and a regimental goat. Sirius giggled along with them too, watching Remus with obvious affection. He glanced over and realized Ted was grinning knowingly at him. Colour filled his cheeks as he bit his lip and looked away.

“You got a good one,” Ted said quietly. “We’re happy for you.”

“Thanks Ted,” Sirius replied. “I’m happy too, like, really, truly happy.”

“I can see that,” Andy said, resting a hand on his arm. “It’s probably the first time I’ve _ever_ seen you happy, without something dark dogging your steps. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I mean, there’s still the lawsuit, but I try not to think about it.”

She scoffed. “They’re never going to win, don’t you worry. Al and I won’t let them get away with lying and I don’t know if Regulus has tried to contact you, but he let me know he’s willing to burn bridges to help you win.”

“Yeah, he came over for lunch yesterday.”

“See, nothing to cast a shadow on your happiness anymore,” Andy said.

“She’s right, son,” Monty said. “Just family and birthday cake. And gifts.”

And only a few minutes later, it was time for cake. Their server brought in a tray full of individual slices of decadent caramel and chocolate cake. One had a bright purple candle in the middle, which she lit quickly before stepping back.

In the pregnant moment before they began to sing, the door opened again and a tall man with black hair streaked with silver came into the room. He saw the cake with the candle, felt the tension of everyone taking a breath to sing. And he immediately led them in singing Happy Birthday.

Sirius looked to him with surprise and delight, still smiling as he looked at everyone else. Remus gently squeezed his knee and Sirius dropped his hand to hold the one on his leg.

“Happy Birthday Tooo Yoooouuuuu,” they finished, more or less in tune.

Sirius blew out the candle. He’d made a wish for the only thing he wanted but didn’t have: their house. Then he jumped up from his seat and pulled Remus behind him.

“Al!!” he cried, hugging the man who’d joined them.

“Hey kiddo,” Al said, hugging him back.

“I thought you said you couldn’t make it?”

“I hurried my client along so I could get out of dinner as quick as possible and get across town. I was worried that I wouldn’t get here in time.”

“You have perfect timing. Oh! This is Remus,” Sirius said, tugging Remus’s hand to pull him closer. “My soulmate. Remus, this is my Uncle Alphard.”

Alphard stuck out a hand to shake. “Good to meet you,” he said. “Though I see you’ve already got the approval of the other Black sheep.” He cracked a smile and Remus returned it. “I’m very glad he has you.”

“I’m very glad to be there for him, and that I have him too,” Remus said.

A server appeared then with a chair, which he set at the end between James and Lily. Their server came in behind him with a plate of cake and a fork.

“Can I get you anything to drink, sir?” she asked.

“I’ll have a Penicillin, please. Thank you,” Alphard said. He took his seat and Remus and Sirius returned to theirs.

They dug into their cake, which Remus groaned happily over. Lily laughed and ended up explaining that Remus had a secret love affair with chocolate that long predated Sirius. Who was genuinely delighted at her description. As conversation drifted back to normal chat, Sirius and Remus mentioned the photographer they’d met and passed his card to James and Lily in case they decided to switch to someone more reliable.

Then plates had been cleared, and coffees and teas — boozy and otherwise — had been delivered.

“Present time, Padfoot,” James said.

He set an envelope from him and Lily on the table in front of Sirius. Then Remus set a sparkly blue gift bag beside it. Effie pulled a bright pink envelope from her purse and slid it across the table. Peter set a flat, square box in the available space, and Aoife set a smaller box on top of it. Andy set another brightly coloured gift bag beside the boxes, along with a card. And Alphard slid a small box down the table.

Sirius looked at the spread with wide eyes. “Uh, I have no idea where to start.” Aoife pushed hers closer. “Okay, sure,” he chuckled. He tore into the bright, floral wrapping paper. Inside were a leather bound journal with soft pages and a new ink pen. “Oh, this is beautiful.”

“Your songbook is full and beat all to hell, Pads,” she said. “You tried to write a song only in the margins last time we talked.”

He snorted a laugh. “Yeah, you’re right. This is great! Thanks, Aoife.” He picked up Andy and Ted’s next. Inside the bag were several bath bombs and assorted good smelling stuff, including a really decadent lotion that Andy used and Sirius had always been jealous of. “Oh my god I’m gonna smell great!” A ripple of laughter floated around the table.

“You do love to pamper yourself,” Andy said.

“Obviously,” Sirius shot back. He pulled out the lotion and dabbed a little on the back of his hand rubbing it in. “Smell, Moony. It’s amazing.”

Remus obliged. “Mmmm, that’s so nice. Thank you, Andy.” She laughed at his lowkey innuendo.

Sirius opened the card, which popped up into the shape of a castle-y cathedral thing.

“Dora’s into making pop-up cards right now and she insisted,” Andy said.

“It’s meant to be Hogwarts, I think,” Ted added.

“It’s fate!” Sirius said. “An omen! We can put it up on the mantle of our vicarage, Moony!”

“Which one?” Remus grumbled. “She did a very good job, though. But that doesn’t give you a free pass.” He pinched Sirius’s side teasingly, even as he grinned over at Andy and Ted.

Next, Sirius opened Peter’s gift, which was a small stack of vintage records. Elton John’s Madman Across the Water, The Royal Philharmonic Performs Queen, John Denver’s Rocky Mountain High, and even Queen’s A Night at the Opera.

“Aw mate, these are fantastic!!” Sirius grinned brightly at him, thumbing through them.

“There’s a few pretty good charity shops by me,” Peter said. “You just gotta have patience to go through all the records. There’s gold in there because they’re not sorted and no one wants to spend the time.”

“But you did,” Sirius said. “Thanks Wormy!”

He picked up the card from Monty and Effie next. Inside was a voucher that he read to himself first before looking up at them with wide eyes. Remus read it over his shoulder.

“You’re going to buy yourself a motorbike anyway, so we want you to be safe,” Effie said.

“Thank you, Mum. This is so, so perfect. I’m so excited! As soon as the weather’s good I’m gonna sign up for the course.”

Remus smiled up at them too, having finished reading the details for the multi-session motorbike safety course they’d bought him.

“Thank you from me too,” Remus said. Effie patted his hand with a motherly smile.

Sirius opened James and Lily’s next. “Ohh, RSPCA,” he read as he pulled out another voucher. “Adoption fees, microchip, spay or neuter, and vaccinations for any adult dog.” His eyes grew wide and he looked over at them. “This is brilliant, thank you! Moony, they got us a dog that we get to go choose.”

“I see that, love,” Remus said, chuckling as he wrapped an arm around Sirius’s waist. “Maybe we can do that over Christmas break.”

“Good thinking,” Sirius agreed. He picked up Remus’s gift next. There was a squishy, wrapped something wedged in on top of the rest. “Two gifts?”

“The one on top is from Mum. She sent it to me for you.”

Sirius grinned. “Your mum got me a birthday present?” Remus nodded. Sirius pulled that one out and tore into the paper. Inside was a soft, grey knitted hat and a note card. “Dear Sirius, I know it’s not much, but I hope you will enjoy this hat, which has a hair elastic in the top to put your bun through. I knit this pattern for girls in the neighbourhood a lot around this time of year and thought you might like it too. I hope your weekend is full of love and laughter. Happy Birthday, your mother-in-law, Hope.” His smile widened. “Aw Moony, that’s so cool. Tell her thank you, from me. I’ll tell her again at Christmas.” He pulled the hat out and looked at the elastic in the top, feeling the soft knit under his fingers. “This is so great.”

He pulled the tissue out of the gift bag to get at the rest of Remus’s present. He pulled out two books and a small, soft bag. Sirius fanned them out to read the covers.

“I figured you’d like these and we need to beef up your sadly deprived library.” Sirius chuckled. “ _Neverwhere_ I think you’d like just for the everything of it, and I think _Song of Achilles_ is right up your alley. It’s about Achilles and Patroclus being very gay for each other.”

“I knew it!” Sirius crowed. “I told Binns, that’s our history prof at Hogwarts, I _told_ him, ‘Don’t they seem very gay?’ and he was all, ‘no Mr Black, they’re brothers in arms, no homo, history is very straight,’ and I was like, ‘mate, modern people didn’t invent gayness, the ancient Greeks were hella gay,’ so I wrote my term paper on the practice and representation of homosexuality in Ancient Greece and he made a very constipated face when he had to give me a good mark.”

Remus giggled into his shoulder. “Shoulda known, that’s so you.” He pressed a giggly kiss to Sirius’s cheek.

“It was amazing,” James agreed, catching his own giggles from Sirius’s story.

“It was a good paper too, maybe your best, Padfoot,” Lily said. “Marlene and I loved it.”

“She says happy birthday, by the way,” Remus said. “Open the rest.” Sirius slid the little bag open and pulled out a lightly cushioned card holding a pair of earrings. Flat discs of hammered and tarnished copper on titanium posts. “They’re from a local artisan in my village,” Remus explained. “These are her ‘Copper Moon’ earrings.”

Sirius gasped. “They _do_ look like the moon!” He brushed a thumb across the face of one, the tarnished indents mimicking the craters on the moon’s surface. “So you’ll be with me all the time, oh Moony!” He turned to kiss Remus on the lips, grinning as he did so. “I love them.”

“Last one, Pads,” James said.

Sirius picked up the small box from Alphard. It was silvery and somewhat shiny, but made of cardboard. A perfect cube. He pulled the top off and a plain white ring box sat inside. Brows furrowed, Sirius tipped that out into his hand and slowly opened it. There were two gold bands inside, both with a satin finish, and each inset with a small white diamond. They were undeniably familiar to Sirius.

“Al?”

“They were mine and Will’s,” he said, understanding the unvoiced question. Sure enough, his ring finger was now bare. “I figure, you’ll need rings at some point soon and I thought you might like something with a little history. Especially since no one else in our godforsaken bloodline has anything to give you.”

“Thank you,” Sirius said, tearing up as his finger ran across the top of the rings. He leaned against Remus. “You’ve got something to propose with now, Moony.”

“Mmhm,” Remus hummed, lips pressed to his crown. “When I move to London.”

Sirius sighed deeply. “Fine, I guess I can wait until June.”

“Thank you, Alphard,” Remus said, very heartfelt as he held onto Sirius.

Lily and Remus organized the gifts into one gift bag and the small handful of records to be carried home as Alphard caught up with Monty and Effie and everyone finished their drinks.

“When do you head back to university, Remus?” Alphard asked.

“Tomorrow afternoon,” Remus said. “I have a lecture on Monday.”

Alphard nodded. “Has Sirius claimed you all day tomorrow, then? I’d love to take you both out to brunch, if you have the time.” He squeezed James and Lily’s shoulders on either side of him. “You’re all welcome as well. I’m sure you want to see Remus before he leaves.”

Remus looked over at Sirius to confer. He shrugged.

“Yeah, okay,” Sirius agreed. “But we should get home before one.” Remus nodded. He was on the 3pm train and they would definitely need some time to cuddle before they could manage parting.

“Wonderful!” Alphard boomed. “I’ll text you the reservation. Are you joining us?” He looked around. Lily and the Potters nodded in agreement, but Ted and Andy begged off due to a playdate for Dora, and Aoife and Peter both politely declined. “Would you like me to see if Reg can make an excuse to join us?”

Sirius bit his lip to stop his hopeful smile spreading any wider, then nodded. “If it’s safe for him.”

Al nodded again. “Don’t worry. He and I have done this before.”

“Well, we should let you kids get home, then,” Effie said. “And we’ll see you in the morning.”

She stood and they all followed in a disorderly shuffle. Coats donned, gifts picked up, and hugs all around. Sirius received another round of birthday wishes and hugs and kisses, Remus received a new instagram follower in Andy and a request to follow her back so they could chat sometime. James and Lily followed Monty and Effie to the valet stand to be dropped off on their way home to their London flat. Peter waved goodbye before heading down the road to the underground station, and Aoife disappeared into an uber with a bright wave. Al took charge of getting Sirius and Remus, and the Tonks into cabs before his car service arrived to take him home.

He patted Sirius’s cheek affectionately and shook Remus’s hand again, then closed their door and waved them off. Behind them, Al slid into the back of a black town car.

“What exactly does your uncle do?” Remus asked.

“Oh, he became the in-house counsel for a tech startup in the 90s and now he’s in charge of all their compliance and legal departments. CCO, I think. His soulmate was one of the programmers there. That’s how they met.”

Remus smiled, resting his head on top of Sirius’s. “Yeah? He tell you the story?”

Sirius chuckled. “Ask him tomorrow. It’s sweet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Quick poll:  
> Would you prefer the Six Weeks With Sirius interlude to be a separate fic or would you prefer it to be posted here to the main fic after the Christmas chapter?  
> It's probably going to be 20k ish. Either way, it's going to be posted after they have their Christmas, for narrative purposes and bc this is mostly from Remus's pov  
> Anyway, leave a comment if you have a preference!
> 
> References this chapter:  
> The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (which I got last year and have sadly not read yet)  
> Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, a personal fave  
> The listed albums are all real, and other than Queen's Night at the Opera, I have found them in thrift stores and bought them  
> Copper Moon earrings do exist, I own a pair and they're awesome. Made by an artisan in Arizona, whose info I kept but can't find atm
> 
> Next chapter is Sirius's 'birthday present' from Remus 😉 and brunch! Should be up this weekend


	10. It's Cute and It Was Right There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet, playful alone time for our boys and a fun brunch with the fam, featuring Alphard's backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo....hi again. I had lofty goals and then work slapped me in the face with fires to put out on a project right before Christmas that I'm literally still dealing with. I'm grateful to have a job and income in these circumstances, but I don't like it right now and that feeling has really been stifling my writing.
> 
> However, I've had a bad week (tho it's only Tuesday) and I really would love to get this out for you to enjoy, and hopefully to perk me up with your lovely comments.
> 
> I really appreciated all your comments on the last chapter and responses to my poll. I will be posting Sirius's interlude here, but I will mark it clearly so you'll know when things are happening. I'll probably spread it over two chapters for length reasons.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter <3

When they got home from the restaurant, they took their coats and shoes off immediately, left Sirius’s gifts on the coffee table, and headed back into the bedroom to change. Remus turned and tossed his shirt on his bag before he looked over at Sirius.

“Moony,” Sirius murmured. His head tipped back and lips pursed invitingly. Remus leaned down to kiss him, giving his lower lip a little tug as he leaned back to finish undressing. “Moony,” Sirius whined.

“Yes, baby?”

“My birthday present,” he whined cutely.

“Oh, is that what you’re after?” Remus teased, remembering his promise from October. “Get your kit off and we’ll see what we can do about that.”

That spurred Sirius into action. He fumbled with buttons and tossed his shirt and trousers toward the hamper, missing in his haste, before bending down to take his socks off. Just as the socks left his hand on their ill-fated journey toward the floor beside the hamper, Remus gave his arse a quick swat. He squealed and straightened immediately to give Remus a look over his shoulder.

“What?” Remus teased, grinning unrepentantly. “It’s cute and it was right there.” Sirius just pouted at him. So Remus, who was already undressed by now, scooped him up and dropped them both onto the bed. “Oh, is it no teasing, get down to business time?”

“Yes,” Sirius said. His attempt to sound imperious was ruined by how breathy and turned on he was from just a bit of manhandling.

Remus gave a thoughtful hum. “I dunno, think maybe a little more teasing might be warranted.” He silenced Sirius’s reply with a kiss and two wandering hands sliding down his torso to tweak a nipple and give his cock a squeeze and knead his arse. Sirius gave himself over to the kiss with typical dedication. One hand slid into Remus’s hair and the other curled around his back as he kissed Remus with soft lips and wicked tongue. He didn’t even stop to help Remus get their pants off. Only when Remus veered off to kiss his neck.

“Please,” he gasped, “want you to mark me.”

Remus let go of the love bite he was making. “That was a given, sweetheart. Gotta tell me what else you want. You want it like this?”

“Mmmhmmm,” Sirius hummed, long and low. He wrapped his legs around Remus’s waist, causing their cocks to rub deliciously against one another. He moaned into Remus’s ear.

“Okay baby, gotta let me go enough to get lube,” Remus said. Sirius loosened his limbs just enough for Remus to reach the drawer of the bedside table and no more.

Remus arranged himself within Sirius’s grasp so he could reach two slicked fingers between Sirius’s cheeks. He rubbed gently around Sirius’s entrance, dipping just the tip in once or twice before sliding his first finger in to the second knuckle. Sirius gasped in pleasure, rocking back onto it. Remus opened him up a bit more, sucking a bright hickey into his neck all the while, before edging in his second finger.

“Less- ah - less prep tonight,” Sirius gasped.

“Hmm?”

“Wanna feel it tomorrow.” His voice was low and dark and sent a thrill of possessiveness down Remus’s spine. He nodded and continued scissoring his fingers to loosen Sirius and make sure he was plenty slick. He pressed in his third finger, spreading them briefly before sliding back to drizzle lube on his cock and slick himself up.

“Ready, baby?”

“Please, angel,” Sirius whispered, not letting go even as Remus straightened up a bit to press his cock to Sirius’s entrance. He slid slowly forward, leaning back down to kiss Sirius again as he did. At about halfway, Sirius broke away to moan loudly. Remus just started to suck a hickey into the other side of his neck and kept pressing in. It was slow, but unrelenting.

When he was fully seated, he waited for Sirius to give the go ahead to move. One hand was still curled in Remus’s hair, the other clutched his back. Sirius rocked back, panting harshly with his head thrown back against the mattress. He moaned again and slowly stilled.

“Pillow,” Sirius said muzzily.

Remus nudged his cheek with his nose to get his attention. “You want a pillow?”

“Under my back.”

Remus grabbed one of the extra pillows up by the headboard, pulling Sirius up with one arm looped around him until he could slide the pillow right under his hips. The angle changed and made Sirius groan even louder as he pressed them together.

“Angel, please,” he begged. Apparently he’d lost all his verbs. Remus kissed him again. Then he pulled out and pressed back in, searching for just the right angle. On his second thrust he hit it, much easier with the pillow. “Hard, please angel.”

“I will, don’t worry, love. I’ll take care of you,” Remus murmured against his lips. Then he made good on his promise. He steadily ramped up until his thrusts were hard enough to shake the bed frame as he pounded into Sirius at the same unrelenting pace.

Sirius shook with pleasure, moaning with an abandon he couldn’t in Remus’s room. His short nails left tingling lines down Remus’s back. A constant stream of low, desperate noises fell from his lips, along with groans that vaguely resembled ‘fuck’, ‘yes’, ‘Moony’, and ‘angel’ in various combinations. Remus groaned into his neck, kissing and sucking at the skin there, feeling the vibration of Sirius’s moans against his lips. It was so arousing for so small a thing.

He slid a hand of his own into Sirius’s hair, hanging on for dear life it felt like. The amount of sensation, the tight, warm, slick feel of him against Remus’s bare cock. He was tighter now than their first time. And god, the noises he made. It was all Remus could do to hang on. Leaving his hand in Sirius’s hair, he dropped fully onto that elbow and slid the other hand between them to stroke Sirius’s cock. He thumbed the head and Sirius gasped. Each twist of his wrist earned an extra groan.

“Moony,” Sirius gasped. “Want you to come.”

Remus kissed his jaw. “I’m so close, baby.” Sirius groaned at that. “You feel so good. Wanna feel you come around me,” Remus said in a low voice. “Before I fill you up, make you mine in every way.”

Sirius threw his head back and gasped out a startled, desperate noise as he came across Remus’s fist and both of their stomachs. His hole pulsed around Remus and he drove into Sirius one, two more times before coming harder than he ever had. His hips twitched gently as the last pulses of his release were pumped into Sirius.

“Oh my god,” Sirius moaned. “That felt so good.” He made some unintelligible noise and pulled Remus to lay fully on top of him. “Best birthday ever. Fuck, you’re still so big inside me.”

“You keep talkin’ like that and you’re gonna sign yourself up for round two,” Remus muttered into his neck.

“You like it?”

Remus twitched his hips forward. “Obviously.” He was too sensitive for that to actually feel good yet, but it made his point.

“Can I ride you next time?”

“What a fucking question,” Remus replied. “Feel free to ride me whenever you like.” Sirius nuzzled their heads together, grinning happily.

Clean up was rather perfunctory a few minutes later. But they were both asleep well before round two could begin.

* * *

The next morning, Remus and Sirius shared a shower in the full-sized shower cubicle. Sirius happily dropped to his knees to give Remus a sloppy and very wet blowjob, during which he wound himself up so much that he begged Remus to just finger him and jerk him off because he was on the edge already. It was true; Remus pressed two fingers into him and he was coming in less than a dozen strokes. His warm moans fluttered across Remus’s collarbone as he gentled Sirius down so they could finish showering.

Al had sent the reservation for a fairly casual restaurant on the edge of Soho, where he lived, earlier that morning. So they dressed in their hoodies, casually branding each other as they liked, before packing Remus’s duffel for his trip back to Wales that afternoon. It made them both sad to see that bag snugly packed beside the bedroom door, but they had hours still before Remus had to leave. So for the moment, they just cuddled in the back of the uber.

When they arrived at the restaurant, they were led to a big table in the back, where Alphard was already seated with a steaming pot of tea. He stood to hug them both and gestured broadly for them to sit.

“How are you both doing this morning?” he asked, pouring them each a cup of tea.

“Not looking forward to leaving this afternoon, but it is what it is,” Remus said.

Sirius nodded in agreement. “Yeah, these weekends are the best days ever, but the worst goodbyes.”

“I can’t imagine it’s easy having to separate over and over,” Alphard said. “Will and I were hardly ever apart, right from the moment we met.”

“Sirius said he worked for your company?” Remus asked.

Alphard nodded. He glanced up to wave James and Lily over to join them. Once they were settled, he returned to the story.

“It might be more accurate to say I was hired at his company,” Al said with a little chuckle. “He worked there first, the second programmer outside of the founders they hired. I came in a bit later when they needed in house counsel. It was my first week, I was getting to grips with everything, and they held a meeting so I could be introduced to everyone.”

Lily, who hadn’t heard this story yet either, was as rapt as Remus.

“This was back in the 90s when the whole company fit in the same room. The CEO led me into the conference room and it was obvious someone had got there early. Jacket hung over a chair. Steno pad and pen set out. Had probably just stepped out to get tea or take a call. But I would have known that pointy chicken scratch anywhere. I saw it every goddamn day on my arm. Good morning messages and grocery lists and random pieces of code he’d figured out how to fix at three in the bloody morning.”

His audience chuckled along, even as Effie and Monty joined them at the table and the waiter brought another pot of tea.

“And it was just there, covering this clean, white steno pad. I walked right up to it, just to be doubly sure, even though I already knew. And I turned and asked my new boss who was sitting there. That’s when he walked in, holding a mug of tea, glasses just slightly askew. He said, ‘It’s me’ and I very intelligently replied, ‘It’s you.’ And I think he knew the moment we made eye contact. He’d noticed me looking at his notepad, and it’s just something you feel in your soul. You know.”

James nodded heartily.

“Well, anyway, we were at work and this was an important, all staff meeting. So it wasn’t as if I could crush him to my chest and kiss him like I wanted to. So I took his hand very softly, and pulled his chair out for him. Then I sat down beside him and took his pen. I wrote my full name, my home phone number, my work phone number, my pager number, and my address on his notebook. His eyes just got bigger and bigger and it was even more obvious that I was right. He looked like I felt when I saw his handwriting.”

“Aww,” Lily murmured.

“I don’t know how I stumbled through that meeting. I don’t think Will heard a damn thing anyone said. We held hands under the table until everyone else had left the room. Then I asked if I could see him and take him out and he said yes. So I walked him back to his desk and asked when. He asked me, ‘Is tonight too soon?’ And I was a besotted fool already, so I told him, ‘Tonight can’t come soon enough.’ He wrote down his information for me, and while we figured out a time, he told me he would need to take the tube so I’d have to get him later than I wanted so I offered to drive him home, he could change, and then we could go out.”

“How did that end up?” Remus asked.

A rueful little smile pulled at Al’s lips. “He packed a bag in case he wanted to stay over. We did that every night for weeks. I’d drive him home, he’d pack work clothes for the morning, maybe date clothes for that night, and we’d go out or stay in. He’d leave his clothes in my hamper and I’d drive us in together in the morning. Then one night I was waiting for him to finish packing, snooping in his bookshelf to get ideas for his birthday present, and he came barrelling out of the bedroom saying he didn’t have any work clothes and asking me where they were. And I told him they were in our closet at home.” Al chuckled at the memory. “He was gobsmacked for a second, then he just grinned at me. We moved the rest of his things into my flat that weekend and we were never apart for more than a few days after that, until he passed.”

“Wow,” Remus breathed.

“I bought the rings for our first anniversary. It was common at the time to wear a ring once you were in a relationship with your soulmate, and to use those rings, or additional ones, if you married later. We used ours when we got our civil partnership and when we got married. We had 25 good years together, and I hope you two will have many more than that.” He squeezed Sirius’s shoulder.

Only a few moments after he’d finished, Regulus approached the table with the hostess. Remus smiled and gestured to the open seat beside him.

“Morning, Reg,” Remus greeted. He replied in kind and smiled down at them. 

“All good, Reggie?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” he replied with a little nod. “They think I’m out having brunch with some of my law soc friends. Brunching is an appropriate networking activity, don’t ya know.”

James snorted a laugh despite himself. “Good to see you, Regulus,” he said.

“You too. Congratulations on your wedding, both of you,” he said, nodding to Lily. “It’s next month, right?” They nodded. “Shame you got stuck with Siri as Best Man.”

“Oi!” Sirius gave mock protest and tried to reach over to whap his brother.

“Now children,” Remus teased. “This is why we’ve separated you.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “You have a teacher voice already. Impressive.”

“Learned it from my mum. Used to turn it on her for laughs when I was ill.”

“Wait, really?” Lily asked. “I never knew that.”

Remus shrugged. “Dad came in one day and we were one upping each other with it, trying not to laugh. But it just sounds so funny out of a squeaky kid. My mum has a poker face carved from stone.”

“Do your parents come out this direction at all?” Effie asked. “We’d love to have them for supper or a visit.”

“Not often, though I imagine they’ll come visit this summer. Probably help me finish moving in with Sirius. Maybe we could plan something then,” Remus said.

Effie nodded. “Absolutely,” she said. “Please pass along my information to her. I’m sure we’ll have plenty to plan. And you are more than welcome to join us if we host, Alphard.” He nodded his thanks. “You as well, Regulus.”

“Thank you, Mrs Potter.”

“Oh none of that, dearie. You’re my son’s brother. You call me Effie or Mum.” Sirius practically beamed.

“Alright Effie, if you insist.”

It seemed Effie’s approval was the catalyst to Regulus reintegrating into his brother’s life. Conversation turned to more casual topics. No one went ignored, though Remus and Sirius’s plans were a hot topic, as was the wedding. But questions about Regulus’s uni friends (trendy and a bit annoying), his intended specialization (the exciting world of tax law), and his soulmate (mutually agreed silence until he left the family) were all touched upon.

James even shook Regulus’s hand and clapped him on the shoulder when they were saying their goodbyes. He squeezed Sirius tightly and slipped a small, wrapped rectangle into his hoodie pocket, before giving Remus a hug and receiving an unexpected one from Effie.

They all parted ways, and Sirius and Remus got into a cab to head home and cuddle for a few hours before it was time to part. They pulled up outside the building and Sirius was paying as the first strains of Take Me to Church began to play over the radio. Remus grinned as Sirius nudged him up and out of the cab.

Inside on the sofa, Sirius pulled out whatever Regulus had given him. It was wrapped in plain brown paper and sealed with cellotape. He tore open the paper at the seam, revealing a small pewter picture frame. It held a photo of a pair of dark haired boys, very obviously Sirius and Regulus despite the reversal of their height difference. They both wore the navy and grey uniform of a prep school. A pair of matching suitcases were stacked just out of frame, only the corner visible. They had their arms around each other, smiling for the camera, even as the younger one looked up at his brother in obvious adoration.

Sirius sniffled. “Our nanny took this,” he said. “She sent it to me at school a few days later. This was the year we stopped hanging out at school. I kept it in my dorm at Diagon and Hogwarts to remember that I did have a brother who loved me, even if he was in the past.” He brushed a thumb across his brother’s adoring face. “I hadn’t brought it with me for seventh year. And I was never able to go back for anything. This was the only thing I regretted leaving behind.”

Remus wrapped him up in a warm embrace. “He still looks at you like that, you know,” he said. “When you aren’t teasing each other.” Sirius stood the photo up on the coffee table and leaned back into Remus’s chest. “Wanna cuddle here?” Sirius nodded and they slowly settled, melting into the cushions and each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this slightly shorter chapter.  
> Your comments, kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks are so incredibly appreciated! Thank you for showing me that you enjoy this fic that I so love to write. If you feel so inclined, I would really love to read your thoughts. They really make me smile =)
> 
> Next up: a friend gets in touch and Remus heads back to Wales


End file.
